Troubled Marriage...need advice

That is a big step up.

T only goes with me on Easter and the night of the pine derby race.

Keep on praying....

 

mhoward1999;

My wife and I just came through a terrible "season" in our marriage. It was financially, emotionally, spiritually terrible. Terrible is the best word for it. But it also was a good thing for us bacause our marriage is better than the day we said ,"I do".

Everyone here has given you some good godly counsel. I can only add a couple things which helped me and Deb. It might help you. Our pastor recommended we buy and read 4 books. We were to read them together. While you may not get your man to read these right away, if you have them laying on your bedside table; believe me, curiosity will catch that "Cat". LOL
Here's the books:
"For Better or For Best" (Understanding your husband), By Gary Smalley.
"If Only He Knew" (Understanding your wife), By Gary Smalley.
"His Needs, Her Needs" (Building an Affair Proof Marriage), By Willard F. Harley, Jr.
"The Spirit-Controlled Woman" By Beverley LaHaye.

I would STRONGLY recommend you get these books and read them with your Bible nearby for reference. Look up each reference the authors make, and APPLY them to your daily life.

Here are a couple excerpts from book #1.(see above)
"The first step in developing a genuine attitude of gratefulness is becoming aware that the benefits in your life have come from two main sources: other people and God....If you stop to think about it, there are very few benefits in your life for which you can take sole credit. (Make a list)...
The second step in developing a grateful attitude is learning to minimize your expectations of your spouse. Expectations can be one of the most destructive forces in your marriage. They can bring un-necessary disappointment and discouragement to you and your husband....

Just these two ideas have revolutionized my thinking towards my wife. When I do not have high expectations of her, I am not setting myself up for disappointment, AND! when she comes through for me, I am pleasantly blessed. I hope this is not too confusing.

Anyway, get the books, check the Biblical references, practice the principles, and in time, BOTH of you will find a great blessing in becoming what you saw in each other when you were "dating".
As to the messy home? Clean it. A little at a time. So what if it gets messed up again? What house doesn't? But the NEXT time you have to clean, it won't be as bad as the FIRST time will it? There is hope in that one idea. IT WON'T BE THIS BAD FOREVER!

Praying for you and him.

In HIS service;
Jim