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True Biblicism

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by J.D., Sep 27, 2007.

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  1. J.D.

    J.D. Active Member
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    If you don’t understand satire, please don’t read this – you won’t get it. If you do understand, I hope you get the message and get a laugh out of it too.

    Start satire----------

    I have decided to start my own religious movement. I call it “True Biblicism”. Since so many people give themselves self-flattering titles like “Biblicist”, I figure what the heck I might as well call myself a TRUE Biblicist since the “Biblicists” are wrong about so many things.

    I have also decided to reject the label “Calvinist” since so many Calvinists do not see every fine point the same way I do. They can keep the label “Calvinist” if they want it because my self-appointed label is superior to their’s anyway.

    To be a member of my movement, and to be worthy of the title “True Biblicist”, you would have to simply agree with everything I say. That would include changing your mind when I change mine, even though I was unquestionably right before AND after I changed my mind..

    Of course, that would make me the One True Biblicist. And as your One True Biblicist, I would shower great affection and care upon you, my followers. You would have the privilege of attacking my critics, slinging such epithets on them as “not right with God”, “lost”, or my favorite “of the Devil”.

    Unfortunately, as the One True Biblicist, I would have to discipline you if you get out of line. If you disagree with me, you would find yourself “not right with God”, “lost”, or “of the Devil”.

    How bout it – any takers?

    End satire--------
     
    #1 J.D., Sep 27, 2007
  2. Amy.G

    Amy.G New Member

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    Sorry JD, that title is already taken. I am the one true biblicist! :laugh: :laugh:
     
    #2 Amy.G, Sep 27, 2007
  3. tinytim

    tinytim <img src =/tim2.jpg>

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    No... I am the one true Biblicist!
     
    #3 tinytim, Sep 27, 2007
  4. Amy.G

    Amy.G New Member

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    Tim, I said it first! Nah nah nah boo boo!

    Actually, isn't the "true" biblicist the one who carries the biggest Bible?
     
    #4 Amy.G, Sep 27, 2007
  5. TCGreek

    TCGreek New Member

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    Who and where is this One True Biblicist?
     
    #5 TCGreek, Sep 27, 2007
  6. J.D.

    J.D. Active Member
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    Can't be. No man can serve two masters. Step aside!
     
    #6 J.D., Sep 27, 2007
  7. J.D.

    J.D. Active Member
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    And Tinytim makes three. Arrrggg! This aint workin the way I planned.
     
    #7 J.D., Sep 27, 2007
  8. charles_creech78

    charles_creech78 New Member

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    Looks to me someone in hear is tring to make themself to be a God. Because they are right and everyone else is wrong. I surely don't agree with that. May God bless you and make you humble to show you there is only one right and that is God. I know his name JESUS CHRIST. There is away that seems RIGHT to a man and the way there is is unto death.
     
    #8 charles_creech78, Sep 27, 2007
  9. Amy.G

    Amy.G New Member

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    Charles, I was being sarcastic. I don't really think I'm right and everyone else is wrong. :wavey:
     
    #9 Amy.G, Sep 27, 2007
  10. tinytim

    tinytim <img src =/tim2.jpg>

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    I say we vote for Charles... he has shown the most humility this week!
    I was very impressed with Charles on a few threads this week...

    Yeah, we are all joking... We all know that God is the only Lord... That is why the OP said it was satire...

    But I will say one thing.. at least you got Amy to admit she doesn't know it all!!!

    I've been trying to do that for months now!!! Just kidding sis!
     
    #10 tinytim, Sep 27, 2007
  11. npetreley

    npetreley New Member

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    I'll join, J.D. When you get a chance, let me know what I believe. ;)
     
    #11 npetreley, Sep 27, 2007
  12. Amy.G

    Amy.G New Member

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    That was amazing wasn't it?
    I'm usually doing this........[​IMG]

    But, I love ya! :1_grouphug:
     
    #12 Amy.G, Sep 27, 2007
  13. tinytim

    tinytim <img src =/tim2.jpg>

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    The sad thing is, there are a lot of Christians that will not even consider that other Christians may know something they don't know.

    And when you disagree with them... they will call you names, question your salvation, and say you are of Satan...
    And it makes you feel less of a Christian.

    Most of the time it is the ones that refuse to learn anything new.
    They have decided that their veiw is right and they will not budge.

    I hope I never get this way. There are a few things I will not budge on though, like Jesus is God, Salvation is by Grace alone, He was born of a virgin, The Bible is God's word to man, Jesus is coming back...

    But other things, we need to be flexible...
    Worship Styles, Bible Versions, Standards of others...etc...

    There are many different brands of Christians that are good, Bible
    Believing Christians with different views on each of the things above..

    I use many versions, listen to CCM, and my wife wears pants...
    Our church sponsors a VBS pool party each yr where both girls and boys swim together....

    But we are still being blessed by God. Souls are being saved, ministers are being called by God to preach, and people are growing in the Lord...



    SATIRE alert: But I am still the One and only, uniquely true biblicist :End Satire
     
    #13 tinytim, Sep 27, 2007
  14. tinytim

    tinytim <img src =/tim2.jpg>

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    It would be easier if people just told us what to believe wouldn't it!!!
     
    #14 tinytim, Sep 27, 2007
  15. Amy.G

    Amy.G New Member

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    HERETIC! :laugh:


    Seriously, you are so right! I guess you really are the true biblicist! (ok, that wasn't serious! :tongue3: )
     
    #15 Amy.G, Sep 27, 2007
  16. tinytim

    tinytim <img src =/tim2.jpg>

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    See I told you so!!! Now how can I convince J.D?

    Wait...

    Something is happening....


    Hold on.. my wife is telling me I am wrong about something....

    I'll be right back!
     
    #16 tinytim, Sep 27, 2007
  17. Plain Old Bill

    Plain Old Bill New Member

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    What a joke.:BangHead: You guys think you are soooo funny:tonofbricks: :laugh: No I mean you really are funny!:laugh:
     
    #17 Plain Old Bill, Sep 27, 2007
  18. J.D.

    J.D. Active Member
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    For starters, you believe that only hymns are permissable in church, and only the ones written before 1850 at that! Right?
    :)
     
    #18 J.D., Sep 27, 2007
  19. J.D.

    J.D. Active Member
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    GET RIGHT WITH GOD! LOST! OF THE DEVIL!
    Let's git some wood fellers - we got one to burn tonight!
     
    #19 J.D., Sep 27, 2007
  20. tinytim

    tinytim <img src =/tim2.jpg>

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    This is Mrs tiny....

    I get him at him first!!!

    Who does he think he is anyway?

    If he's not back in a while.. I've taken care of him for you!
     
    #20 tinytim, Sep 27, 2007
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