unforgiveness in Nashville

Discussion in '2003 Archive' started by IanM, Sep 23, 2003.

  1. IanM

    IanM
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    I am a 41 year old Southern Baptist. I was married for ver 10 years when I divorced my wife in 1999. I walked out on her and my two children and entered into another relationship. After much prayer and consideration my ex wfe and myself reconciled in July 2003. I thank GOD that He gave me this opportunity. I have repented to GOD for my sin and my stupidity. My ex wife and I are doing well. My children love having Daddy around. One problem though. The Southern Baptist church which my ex wife and children are members of refuses to allow me to attend services with my family. I attend services at another church (different denominaton) from my family.
    I am proud t be a Southern Baptist. In fact I servd as a volunteer youth minister while in the Air Force in the 1980's. I cannot the conduct of this Pastor though. I have prayed and fasted. I have spent many hours searching the WORD of GOD for the answer to this situaton. GOD has gien me forgiveness. My ex wife and children have forgiven me.
    I would truly appreciate some responses.
     
  2. dianetavegia

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    I am so sorry to hear this! I cannot imagine this church acting this way. Did you remarry?

    You would be very welcome, as a family, in our SBC church. You've repented, God forgave you and so should we!

    Diane
     
  3. just-want-peace

    just-want-peace
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    A little clarification on this point, please! How, exactly, is this church "not allowing" you to attend with your family?

    Also, you say you "reconciled"! Do you mean that you now just get along, you're good friends again, planning to be re-married, or some combination thereof?

    Just based on what you've given, I think I'd be looking for another church, but I can't figure WHY this church "will not allow(?)" you to attend with your family; what is their rationale???? Kinda hard to be specific with no more data than given here. :confused:
     
  4. IanM

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    A clarification. Yes my ex and myself anre getting along ver well. e believe it is in te LORDS will tat we remarryand that is in the plans
     
  5. dianetavegia

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    This church should EMBRACE you and help you during this time of reconciliation! I, for one, am just thrilled to hear of this family that has been saved and restored! God Bless You!

    The pastor's attitude really bothers me. Again, I'm so sorry to hear this.

    Diane
     
  6. micahaaron

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    Have you talked to the pastor one on one yet? Can't assume anything until you know his reasoning behind his desicions.

    MA
     
  7. Larry in Tennessee

    Larry in Tennessee
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    My feelings exactly!

    We all make mistakes. The important thing is that you have repented. If God has forgiven you, and your family has as well, there is no reason for the church to not forgive you.

    Like Diane said, you would be welcome as a family in our SBC church as well, and you are more than welcome to visit us if you don't mind driving to Gallatin.

    God Bless,
    Larry
     
  8. Taufgesinnter

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    Besides, the "re"-marriage will only be for the purposes of man's laws. You're still married to her in God's eyes, since He doesn't recognize divorce. So I don't think I understand the negative reaction at all.
     
  9. Pastor Larry

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    :rolleyes: :rolleyes: Please come to the men's private forum. I want to ask you a question.
     
  10. timothy 1769

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    Matthew 19:9
    And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

    So according to the words of Jesus, if man marries another woman after a divorce for fornication, he is not commiting adultery. Am I missing something here?
     
  11. dianetavegia

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    Timothy asked:
    This husband is hoping to RE MARRY his exwife! Praise the Lord! [​IMG]
     
  12. Taufgesinnter

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    :rolleyes: :rolleyes: Please come to the men's private forum. I want to ask you a question. </font>[/QUOTE]I've gone there several times over the last five hours, but didn't see you. Where's your post?
     
  13. Pastor Larry

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    :rolleyes: :rolleyes: Please come to the men's private forum. I want to ask you a question. </font>[/QUOTE]I've gone there several times over the last five hours, but didn't see you. Where's your post? </font>[/QUOTE]It is currently the second one down, started by me.
     
  14. dianetavegia

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    Let's continue to pray for this family and help this gentleman in any way we can as brothers and sisters in Christ Jesus.

    The above is the original thread.... Thanks! [​IMG]

    Diane
     
  15. Mike McK

    Mike McK
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    Ian,

    I'm sorry this is happening to you. It sounds like they're giving you the cold shoulder unfairly.

    Have they told you why, specifically, they've disfellowshipped you? Could it be that, in addition to reconciling with your wife, they want you to be a part of some restoration process that church has? Are they not allowing you to attend or not allowing you membership? If it's the latter, could this be because of the other church/other denomination you're attending? As you can see on BaptistBoard, baptists aren't always very fond of other denominations.

    I'm praying for you and for your wife.
     
  16. gb93433

    gb93433
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    If one were to read church history he would discover that even the early church had people who denied Christ and later repented.

    One of those was Peter.

    Luke 18"9-14, "And He also told this parable to some people who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and viewed others with contempt: "Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. "The Pharisee stood and was praying this to himself: `God, I thank You that I am not like other people: swindlers, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. `I fast twice a week; I pay tithes of all that I get.' "But the tax collector, standing some distance away, was even unwilling to lift up his eyes to heaven, but was beating his breast, saying, `God, be merciful to me, the sinner!' "I tell you, this man went to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but he who humbles himself will be exalted."

    Some churches just do not understand God's forgiveness and love.

    Your wife has forgiven you but the church won't. That's bizarre.

    My mother in law is a very attractive lady. Shortly after my father in law died she decided to go to church. At the time she was not a Christian. She began to share with me at how the pastor's wife acted toward her. I knew that too often when a lady's husband dies her friends will want nothing to do with her because they are afraid she wil steal their husband. I think that was the case. I told her to go to another church. She did and became a Christian. She has steadily grown in that church and has since remarried a Christian man. A church can make a huge diference. Good or bad. It can help a person to understand who God is better just by the way it treats people.
     
  17. IanM

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    The local church is not allowing me to attend a all. I would have no problem working within the church organization. I have not joined the church whereI now attend. They are a very loving fellowship however I believe GOD intends for me to worship together with my family. Thier church has been very supportive while I was gone. I do respect them for this support. At the same time however I do question thier not allowing me to worship with my family
     
  18. dianetavegia

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    Ian, I cannot imagine any church turning away a person who wants to worship! I don't care what sin they had been in previously!

    Is this a tiny church? This is beyond my comprehension!

    Last Sunday a lady was baptized who has been into hard drugs, has 2 children by 2 men outside marriage but has now given her life to Jesus. I can't describe the joy when she went forward! People were whooping and clapping! I'd been praying for her for over a year.

    Diane
     
  19. Pastor Larry

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    Please come to the men's private forum and defend this for us.
     
  20. Mike McK

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    If they're unrepentant, then I might understand but this certainly doesn't sound like the case in Ian's case.

    Ian, I'm sorry, buddy. I just don't have an answer for you except to say that I'm praying for you, your family and this church.

    I don't doubt that they want to follow Biblical rules of discipline but, to paraphrase Abe Lincoln, "disipline without reconciliation isn't discipline, it's vengeance".

    May I make a suggestion? If you've done all that you can for your part, how about going to whatever governing body this church belongs to and asking them to mediate between you and the church?

    If it's an SBC church, you could go to their local association.
     

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