Unity...

Discussion in '2005 Archive' started by GeneMBridges, Mar 15, 2005.

  1. GeneMBridges

    GeneMBridges
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    Was forwarded this anecdote today...

    Read and chuckle...

    Subject: Baptist unity at its best

    I was walking across a bridge recently. I spied this fellow who looked like
    he was ready to jump off. So, I thought I'd try to stall him until the
    authorities showed up. "Don't jump!" I said. "Why not?" he said. "Nobody
    loves me."

    "God loves you," I said. "You believe in God, don't you?"

    "Yes, I believe in God," he said.

    "Good," I said. "Are you Christian or Jewish?"

    "Christian," he said.

    "Me, too!" I said. "Protestant or Catholic?"

    "Neither," he said.

    "What then?" I said.

    "Baptist," he said.

    "Me, too!" I said. "Independent Baptist or Southern Baptist?"

    "Independent Baptist," he said.

    "Me, too!" I said. "New Evangelical/Moderate Independent Baptist or
    Conservative Independent Baptist?"

    "Conservative Independent Baptist," he said.

    "Me, too!" I said. "Calvinistic Conservative Independent Baptist or
    Lose-Your-Salvation Armenian Conservative Independent Baptist?"

    "Calvinistic Conservative Independent Baptist," he said.

    "Me, too!" I said. "Dispensational Premillennial Calvinistic Conservative
    Independent Baptist or Historical Premillennial Calvinistic Conservative
    Independent Baptist?"

    "Dispensational Premillennial Calvinistic Conservative Independent
    Baptist," he said.

    "Me, too!" I said. "Against Women in Ministry Dispensational Premillennial
    Calvinistic Conservative Independent Baptist or For Women in Ministry
    Dispensational Premillennial Calvinistic Conservative Independent Baptist?"

    "Against Women in Ministry Dispensational Premillennial Calvinistic
    Conservative Independent Baptist," he said.

    "Me, too!" I said. "Unashamed Fundamentalist Against Women in Ministry
    Dispensational Premillennial Calvinistic Conservative Independent Baptist
    or Strict Separation of Church and State Against Women in Ministry
    Dispensational Premillennial Calvinistic Conservative Independent Baptist?"

    "Unashamed Fundamentalist Against Women in Ministry Dispensational
    Premillennial Calvinistic Conservative Independent Baptist," he said.

    "Me, too!" I said. "Pro-Disney Boycott Pro-Life Unashamed Fundamentalist
    Against Women in Ministry Dispensational Premillennial Calvinistic
    Conservative Independent Baptist or Anti-Disney Boycott Pro-Choice
    Unashamed Fundamentalist Against Women in Ministry Dispensational
    Premillennial Calvinistic Conservative Independent Baptist?"

    "Pro-Disney Boycott Pro-Life Unashamed Fundamentalist Against Women in
    Ministry Dispensational Premillennial Calvinistic Conservative Independent
    Baptist," he said.

    "Me, too!" I said. "KJV Only Pro-Disney Boycott Pro-Life Unashamed
    Fundamentalist Against Women in Ministry Dispensational Premillennial
    Calvinistic Conservative Independent Baptist or Modern Versions Pro-Disney
    Boycott Pro-Life Unashamed Fundamentalist Against Women in Ministry
    Dispensational Premillennial Calvinistic Conservative Independent Baptist?"

    "MODERN VERSIONS Pro-Disney Boycott Pro-Life Unashamed Fundamentalist
    Against Women in Ministry Dispensational Premillennial Calvinistic
    Conservative Independent Baptist" he said.

    "Auugghh!!! You heretic! What is this world coming to?" I said. And then I
    pushed him over.
     
  2. av1611jim

    av1611jim
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    Oh my how so very true!
    I you ain't a gonna dot yer "i's" and cross yer "t's" like I do, then off the bridge you go!
    :eek: [​IMG] [​IMG]

    In HIS service;
    Jim
     
  3. El_Guero

    El_Guero
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    Jim,

    That is a good one ...

    Wayne
     
  4. Jason Garrett

    Jason Garrett
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    How very true. It took me 28 years of people brainwashed in a So. Bapt. church that the Baptistic way is the only way.

    I am now a member of a non-denominational church (Baptistic roots) and have never been a part of a church which members have helped me grow so much. It is the first church I've ever been involved with that wasn't first concerned with the trivial stuff (suits and ties for men, hymns, only, strict orders of worship, etc.) bust are first concerned with the heart. It is wonderful.
     
  5. Soulman

    Soulman
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    Charasmatics: Love without the truth.
    Baptists: Truth without love [​IMG]
     

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