Unmarried Youth Pastor, OK??

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by IFB Mole, May 14, 2007.

  1. IFB Mole

    IFB Mole
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    I attend a large, well known and respected IFB church with a Bible College where the reasonably new youth pastor is not married. Normally in IFBdom all those is "full-time" ministry should be married, in fact those in the pastoral staff or ministerial staff MUST be married as far as I know. Furthermore, this unmarried youth pastor is the senior pastors son. I'm sure that he would NEVER hire an unmarried male staff (uless perhaps a widower) because it is pushed in IFBdom that ministerial students should be married before being "thrust out" into full time ministry. No prospective church would EVER hire unmarried pastoral staff, especially un unmarried youth pastor. That's what is told to them anyway and essentially preached in IFBdom.

    I was wondering, what do readers think of an unmarried youth pastor? If he WASN'T the pastors so, would he have any possibilities to be a preacher or a pastor without a wife?
     
  2. webdog

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    I would say that there would be WAY too much temptation for an unmarried youth pastor. Having said that, I believe Scripture teaches all Elders...whether youth or not should be married. The word "must" doesn't leave a lot of room for interpretation.
     
  3. gerald285

    gerald285
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    you need to take this up with the leadership voicing your concerns.
     
  4. Pastor Larry

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    The Bible actually teaches nothing about the marital status of pastors/elders/overseers. The Bible simply says that he must be a man of sexual integrity and purity--a one woman man.

    Many churches do not call single pastors to their churches, but there is no legitimate biblical reason why they should not.
     
  5. Pete

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    1 Cor 7, good on the son :)

    If his dad is compromising his own beliefs for son though he should take look at himself....heh and maybe what he believes and why too ;)
     
  6. webdog

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    A "one woman man" doesn't need a wife, nor is considered to be the husband of one.
     
  7. christianyouth

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    Not to mention that many mission boards will not send unmarried missionaries to foreign fields. I find this very strange, considering Paul, the model of all missionaries was not married.

    "I would that all men were like me" - that was said of Paul, refferring to remaining single.
     
  8. Martin

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    ==I agree, but I think each situation should be dealt with individually.


    ==So, I suppose Paul could not have been an elder?

    1Timothy 3:2 is forbidding polygamy and is teaching that an elder/pastor must be faithful to his one wife. That Scripture does not state that an elder (etc) "must" be married. In fact 1Cor. 7:32-35 makes it very clear that singles have more time to devote to the Lord, and His work, than do married people. Those who can remain single, whom God has graced in that way (1Cor 7:7-9), should remain single. We see this principle at work in the life of several Biblical people such as Paul, Jeremiah, and others. I don't believe Timothy was married when Paul wrote his letters to him, at least I don't recall Paul mentioning that Timothy was married. Not to mention the Lord Jesus Himself was single.
     
  9. gb93433

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    Jesus must have been strange too. According to the OP it seems like the IFB is conforming to a movie title about Jesus being tempted. Seems strange that the IFB would be so logical and throw out the Bible such as 1 Cor. 10:13. Why would they believe that God is not faithful who will allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able? I always thought the IFB believed the Bible or is that a fantasy? Or is it that they believe their own verson of the Bible because of a new revelation from a god?
     
  10. gb93433

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    Sometimes those things happen and it brings about change.
     
  11. preachinjesus

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    no problems here. Most unmarried youth pastors I know are more faithful to their calling than married ones I know (ratio wise that is.) While I went to seminary I wasn't married. Had I been disqualified because of that I would have never gotten to where I am in ministry.

    We certainly would want to make sure this young man has every possibility for ministry and protect him in this ministry. Make sure you put appropriate boundaries around him and protect him from the appearance of evil. (Frankly if people are questioning his qualifications right now he's already in a losing situation imho...he should probably go to another church. Sounds like some people are picking at him unfairly.)

    couple of things to point out:
    1. The position of "youth pastor" or "education pastor" or any associate role is not readily identified in Scripture. So we need to keep that in mind as we qualify what it means to be a pastor.
    2. You can't limit the read of the appropriate leadership passages to suggest that anyone not married is disqualified from leadership. I find that exegesis severely lacking. Particularly for young men who have not found a spouse they should be given all reasonable accomodation for ministry opportunity. The marriage altar is not the doorway for ministry. Paul wasn't married, enough said.
    3. My parents aren't in ministry (vocationally) but I was given positions while I wasn't married. Don't look too far into the perceived nepotism. Some of the best ministers I know got their starts under their father's pulpits. Let him prove his minsiterial worth beyond his father's gaze.
     
  12. Tom Bryant

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    The first 10 years of my minitsyr were as an unmarried youth pastor and associate. I had to take special cautions to deal with being alone with kids of both sexes, much like I do when I counsel now. I was never alone with a young lady. I never took any girl home by myself.

    Yes, it is harder for a single guy to be called to a church, but more so in the pastorate. Many churches want a single guy because they can work him harder and pay him less than a married man with a family.

    The biggest difficulty was the little old ladies of the church trying to set you up with their grand-daughters :laugh:
     
  13. StraightAndNarrow

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    Youth pastors or pastors are called by God. Whether or not they are married isn't important.
     
  14. webdog

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    If a requirement of a Pastor (Elder, Bishop, Overseer) is "managing their own household well", why would we want a single pastor overseeing our youth...without having their own household to manage?
     
  15. bapmom

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    Sir Mole,

    I find it interesting that you are bringing this up as if you truly believe that all of IFBdom is firm in the belief that all ministers must be married. This is not how it is, in my experience. I know men in the ministry right now who are not married.
    I suppose it is true that most churches prefer married men, but the simple fact of their marriage lends them an added level of protection from accusations, in today's climate. But this does not mean that all IFB churches require marriage for all ministerial positions. Please do not forget the "I" in IFB......each local church is independent and they each have their own way of doing things.

    I also find it telling that you'd seemingly impugn your own pastor's integrity by implying that he is compromising his own convictions simply because he has hired an unmarried man. You do not know any of this for sure....why don't you ask your pastor? It could be that up until now he has simply found married men who meet the qualifications for these different positions.

    Remember too, being the pastor's son means that the pastor has a very close relationship with this person.....he knows this person so well that that in itself could "make up" for the fact that he isn't married, at least in the accountability area. I mean, the pastor can be far more personal with his own son than he could be with a stranger that he brings into the position.

    I just think it's unfair to automatically assume compromise just because the "new guy" is the Sr. pastor's son.
     
  16. preachinjesus

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    this is poor exegesis. What is a household? Do a spouse and children automatically ascribe the value of a household? How many children? How long a spouse?

    when I was single I had a household from the moment my parents released me to be my own man. They had equipped me and raised me well, but there, as a simple 18 year old on my way to college I had a household to manage. Granted it wasn't that much of a household, but it was one nevertheless.

    My finances were (and are) a strikingly large porportion of one's household. My prayers for my future spouse, another important part of one's household. How I discipline my body, how I relate to others, how I conduct myself with (at the time) other single women. All of this went into how my household was conducted.

    The reality is our "household" as ministers has to do with more than just my wife and our incumbent children.

    When I am hired by a church I ask them (if they don't already) to do a thorough background check and credit check. I ask them to check with people who know me well. My household just isn't my spouse and children.

    To believe it is limited to them and to suggest someone who doesn't have them doesn't have a household is poor exegesis at best.
     
  17. Pastor Larry

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    Yes, indeed.
     
  18. webdog

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    How is it poor exegesis? The greek for household means simply "family". Does a single man constitute a "family"? No. It would at least have to include a husband and wife. Whether it's a husband and wife...or husband wife and twelve children...the fact remains a single man does not constitute a family, meaning that interpretation does not exist.
     
  19. jshurley04

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    UnMarried Youth Pastor

    I have known of more married youth pastors that have flaked out with a member of the youth group than I have single ones. It all depends upon the man and his integrity level.

    As for this pastor, this is probably the first step in the ushering in of the next pastor of the church. I have seen it more than once and it will no doubt happen many more times. You bring in a son or grandson and let them grow on the church and then take an "emeritus" status so that you still have control and present the chosen one as your recommendation to the church. Usually, while they are still in shock they simply accept the chosen one and the former pastor still retains control behind the scenes.

    Look out because it sounds like the process has started. I lost a staff job once because of this process. I was a threat to the plan.
     
  20. rbell

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    1. I keep coming back to Paul's being unmarried.
    2. Temptation is in no way exclusive to unmarried folk. I've watched many a married minister go up in flames due to moral failure. No doubt though that steps of wisdom and forethought must be taken to avoid temptation and appearances of evil (whether married or not).
    3. I also lean toward the "one woman man" interpretation.

    If a church has a "no single youth minister" policy...I would be interested in knowing why.

    If it's a scriptural interpretation, then we just disagree there...and that's fine.

    If it's this paranoia about "you can't trust single people," I think that's unrealistic and ignores people such as Paul.
     

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