Upstate New York

I'm not sure why I put this in humor, because it really is true:



When the temperature is:

60 above zero:

Floridians turn on the heat.

People in Upstate New York plant gardens.

50 above zero:

Californians shiver uncontrollably.

People in Watertown sunbathe.

40 above zero:

Italian & English cars won't start.

People in Upstate New York drive with the windows down.

32 above zero:

Distilled water freezes.
The water in Saranac Lake gets thicker.

20 above zero:

Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.

People in Upstate New York throw on a flannel shirt.

15 above zero:

New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Lake Placid have the last cookout before it gets cold.

Zero:

People in Miami all die.

People in Pulaski close the windows.

10 below zero:

Californians fly away to Mexico

People in Upstate New York get out their winter coats.

25 below zero:

Hollywood disintegrates.

The Girl Scouts in Upstate New York are selling cookies door to door.

40 below zero:

Washington DC runs out of hot air.

People in Carthage let the dogs sleep indoors.

100 below zero:

Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Folks in Potsdam get upset because they can't start the Mini-Van.

460 below zero (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale):

ALL atomic motion stops.
People in Upstate New York start saying..."Cold 'nuff fer ya?"

500 below zero:

Equator freezes over.

Upstate New York public schools will open 2 hours late