Visitation: focus on the man?

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by abcgrad94, Mar 24, 2009.

  1. abcgrad94

    abcgrad94
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    Recently I heard a preacher say that when visiting in the homes of newcomers to the church, you should address the man and speak with him, instead of with the wife. He says that even if a woman comes to church by herself, when he and other church members make a home visit, he talks with the man instead. His reasoning was that if you talk with the wife, the husband will go to another room or just not listen, but if you talk to the husband, the wife will still listen and both will hear the gospel.

    Do you agree with this?
     
  2. rbell

    rbell
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    I guess I'm a simpleton...why not talk to both of them?

    Some preachers make it harder than it is...
     
  3. abcgrad94

    abcgrad94
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    I think the reasoning was so the man would have the undivided attention.

    Recently, some of our church members went to visit a man who has been attending, and he never even called his wife into the room to introduce her. In fact, he made no mention about her at all even though she was home and does not seem hostile to church or God. It just made me wonder if it's true that men prefer to be talked to as the head of the house instead of as a couple.
     
  4. puros_bran

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    When I visit I focus on the man... When the Mrs visits she puts her focus on the woman... When we both visit we put the focus on the couple.

    If either spouse is 'hostile' to the gospel we either visit as a couple or don't visit.
    I hate to say this but feel like I have to. In these times we have enough scandal,real or imagined, without begging for it.

    Oh, I almost forgot... All bets are off in public..if you'll sit still long enough to listen, you will hear the gospel regardless of male/female.
     
  5. preachinjesus

    preachinjesus
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    I like talking to everybody...yep even the kidos...but I don't visitation that much.

    Oh, and this:
    Is right on!
     
  6. puros_bran

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    If I made the impression I don't/won't speak to everyone present I didn't communicate what I was trying to.

    Maybe its the way I was raised but the majority of the conversation goes to the person of the same sex... We visit an elderly couple almost every Saterday, I speak to Ms Sue quite a bit, but the majority of my 'talkin to' goes to Mr Huebert.

    Maybe this will explain my position a bit better. After my Grandpa passed on my Great Great Uncle William wouldn't step foot inside my Grandmothers home unless someone was with him or someone was already with her. Said it was 'improper' for a man to appear to be favoring a woman that wasn't his wife and it could damage everyones witness involved.. That's the type of thing that sticks in my mind, maybe I'm just to old fashioned.


    "Dear, where'd I put my walker?". :) :) :)
     
  7. abcgrad94

    abcgrad94
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    Puros bran, I completely understand what you're saying.

    Preaching Jesus, usually we do visitation in pairs. That way, one person can pray or talk to the kids while the other person does most of the talking.
     
  8. SaggyWoman

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    When I was doing more visiting, we usually took at least one male and one female along (as well as a third person of mixed gender) so that we could focus on both genders.
     
  9. StefanM

    StefanM
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    Honestly, that approach strikes me as a bit sexist.
     
  10. corndogggy

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    The bible says:

    1. Men are the image and glory of God, and women are just the image and glory of man.

    2. Women were created for men.

    3. Women are supposed to be silent in the church and only ask questions to her man at home.

    4. Women are to learn in silence with subjection, cannot teach, not to usurp authority over men, but just be silent.


    With that in mind, why is it shocking that a preacher would mostly only want to talk to the man? What part of "be silent" is so hard to understand? Now, I don't agree with these things, but this is exactly what the bible says. :)
     
  11. rbell

    rbell
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    That refers to church, not home...right?
     
  12. PeterM

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    On an initial visit to a home, I am usually unfamilar with the dynamic of the relationships in the home. What I see at a worship gathering or other function is not necessarily authentic.

    I do all I can to address both men and women in the course of the conversation, allowing everyone who is in the room to be part of the conversation. I have no idea how the HS is going to move while I am there, so I try to remain open to His leadership.
     
  13. Alive in Christ

    Alive in Christ
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    :laugh: Honestly, thats one of the silliest things I have ever heard.

    Just visit...and trust God to cause you to speak with whomever HE wants you to speak with.


    :godisgood:
     
  14. Alive in Christ

    Alive in Christ
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    :eek::tonofbricks:




    :godisgood:
     

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