what about divorce

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by SAMPLEWOW, Sep 9, 2005.

  1. SAMPLEWOW

    SAMPLEWOW
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    first please be honest without being mean.I've been though a divorce,my wife was faithful to me. she got tired of my selfishness and ask me to leave. my question;to what exstent can I serve God in full time ministry
     
  2. Johnv

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    Each church is free to decide the limitations and requirements of persons in its service.

    However, church aside, you are not limited in how you serve God in ministry. There is an occaisional verse that implies you might not be best suited for a pastor, but that again is up to each church to decide on how it impliments that.
     
  3. kubel

    kubel
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    Well, you cannot remarry without adultery- since man cannot separate a marriage, it is God given. 1 Timothy 3 gives requirements for Pastor. It mentions that he should be the husband of one wife. Anything beyond what the Bible says is religion.
     
  4. Johnv

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    Just a thought. If a man and woman are divorced, and not remarried, even in the strictest interpretation, they're still "husband of one wife".

    But the OP wasn't intended to address the scripturalness of his divorce, so I respected that and didn't address it.
     
  5. NateT

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    I would say that you could not be an overseer because even if you are still a "husband of one wife" (and I think John probably has a point there) later on in 1 Tim 3.4-5 it stipulates that it must be one who manages his household well. I would say that in most divorces, neithe person managed the household well.
     
  6. Baptist in Richmond

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    Where might I find this in the Bible?

    Regards,
    BiR
     
  7. Johnv

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    Good point, Nate. I do suggest that what constitutes a well-managed household is open to subjectivity. A pastor who's been married to the same woman for 30 years, but has continual high credit card debt, could be seen by some as not managing his household well. OTOH, a man whose wife committed adultery, and upon finding out, he immediately puts his foot down and scripturally divorces her, and given that all other aspects of his life are above board and iin place, this person may be seen by some as having a well-managed household.

    A well-managed household is not a problem-free household. It's a household where problems are managed well, just like everything else is managed well.
     
  8. Johnv

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    That's not exactly true. There are two specific examples of the marriage covenant being broken: adultery and desertion. A person who has sought a biblical divorce is free to marry again, since the prior marital covenant was scripturally severed and no longer exists.
     
  9. Baptist in Richmond

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    Greetings to you,

    First of all, I am sorry to hear that you have experienced the pain of divorce. You were very candid about your particular circumstances, and I appreciate you sharing that with us. I hope that you know that God can forgive any sin, and He does forgive any sin. All of us on this board are a testament to that.

    As for what extent you can serve God in full-time ministry, I would urge you to pray about that. With your particular life experience, you may be able to work in a divorce recovery ministry. You could perhaps be a mentor to younger people who may need to hear from someone who has been down the road from whence you came. Perhaps you could lead a Bible Study. Just because someone is divorced DOES NOT mean that God is finished with them.

    The best advice I could offer you is to pray about this, and continually seek His Will. I am probably not a good source of advice on this subject, but I have seen Johnv give some tremendous counsel to some on this board. Perhaps he can offer some in this discussion.

    Remember: you don't necessarily have to be in a full-time ministry to serve God. Seek His Will, and I can assure you that He will reveal it to you. [​IMG]

    Regards to you,
    BiR
     
  10. El_Guero

    El_Guero
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    SAMPLEWOW

    I am sorry that you have gone through the pain of divorce.

    I would expect that your local church and your pastor should address this first. I know that if I were your pastor, I would first see about reconciliation with your wife.
     
  11. Marcia

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    JohnV, maybe I'm misunderstanding you here, but it sounds like you are saying that someone should or must divorce his/her spouse if they commit adultery (your terms about the husband "putting his foot down" and divorcing the wife).

    Actually, I think efforts should go on for a long time for reconciliation through prayer and whatever other means are possible (unless the adulterous spouse has remarried).
     
  12. Marcia

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    You don't say how long ago this was. Did you try to reconcile? Is your wife remarried? Are you remarried?
     
  13. Thankful

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    Perhaps, I am missing something here. From what I read in the OP, Samplewow, is not asking if he should divorce, if he should remarry, if he should reconcile, but since he is divorced, how he can serve the Lord?

    It does depend on the church where he can serve and most churches do not allow divorced men to be pastors or deacons; however, they serve in many other areas of the church.

    Pray and let God lead you to service for Him.

    I have known some wonderful teachers and worship leaders who have been divorced. We would have missed out on many blessings if these men had not served their God.

    My advice would be to study your Bible and learn how to witness to other people. Tell them the gospel and how Jesus can save them and make a difference in their lives.
     
  14. exscentric

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    In answer to the original question. An option might be missions. There are a few missions that accept divorced-non-remarried, and others that accept divorced/remarrieds.
     
  15. SAMPLEWOW

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    My real question is not CAN I RE MARRY .YES SHE HAS REMARRIED .No I'm not looking to get remerried. I just want to serve the Lord.Question: At what level may I serve sripturely?
     
  16. JGrayhound

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    That's not exactly true. There are two specific examples of the marriage covenant being broken: adultery and desertion. A person who has sought a biblical divorce is free to marry again, since the prior marital covenant was scripturally severed and no longer exists. </font>[/QUOTE]I disagree. I think you have read the last part into being "free".
    I think those 2 "outs" can be used as justification for divorce (as a last resort) but it DOES NOT follow that they are free to re-marry. In fact, it appears that remarriage is adulterous.

    Do you really think a covenant is so easily ended?
    It can be violated by divorce, but I do not think that the covenant comes to an end just because of divorce.
     
  17. DesiderioDomini

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    but if they die, you can remarry.

    im not sure all the facts are neing presented here, so ill stay out of the debate.

    As to the OP, I highly doubt God sees divorce as a higher offense than He does murder.

    How many murderers does it take to pen a bible? Paul, David......

    If your sin of divorce is forgiven, then it does not exist.

    Any man who wishes to hold it against you is taking up the work of Satan himself, for he is called the accuser. No man has the right to discuss nor evaluate the repented and forgiven sin of another.

    So, I emplore you, ignore what others think. You no longer have a sin of divorce, it is forgiven. You are still a man of one wife, and you have every avenue of ministry open to you.

    If you want to be a pastor, it is GOD, and not MAN, that will make you one.

    If you want to do missions, it is GOD, and not MAN, that sends you.

    You get the point. It seems by your posts that you are asking those here for an answer. No man here has it.

    Seek the face of God, as HIM to make you what He will.

    Should that be a pastor, I'll praise God.

    BTW, in case any here would question my stance on divorce, my entire childhood was destroyed by divorce.

    I had 6 different "fathers/stepfathers" and each of which did things to me and my brothers and my mother that ill never discuss here.

    Divorce is a destable thing. I know first hand. However, If a murderer was used to proclaim the gospel to the gentiles (which is us, might i remind you) then a man who is divorced and not remarried can proclaim the gospel as well.

    Go with His peace, Sample.
     
  18. SAMPLEWOW

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    I like what you've said about man knowing,but Ido beleive there are men and woman that have much knowlege of Gods word and that is what Iseek answers from Gods word.
     
  19. Ed Edwards

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    2 Timothy 2:15 (KJV1769 Edition):
    Study to shew thyself approved unto God,
    a workman that needeth not to be ashamed,
    rightly dividing the word of truth.

    Colosians 3:23 (KJV1769 Edition):
    And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily,
    as to the Lord, and not unto men;


    Back in 1978 I had a friend that had been divorced
    before he was saved. He could not be ordained by
    our Southern Baptist Church. He was licensed
    to preach by our church. He trained to be
    an evangelist. Last time i talked to him
    he was making a living at being an evangelist.
    He may be retired by now. There are lots of non-church
    religious organizations. The Oklahoma City
    Telephone yellow pages lists 33 "Church Organizations".
    This doesn't even include Christian book stores.
    Large churches with 100s of workers even hire a
    staff of a dozen or so just to keep up with the
    budget and spending money.
     
  20. Baptist in Richmond

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    Disagree with you strongly, but you are entitled to your opinion. But there have been several discussions on this topic.

    Regards,
    BiR
     

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