What are "valid" reasons to leave a church?

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by greek geek, Oct 31, 2009.

  1. greek geek

    greek geek
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2003
    Messages:
    115
    Likes Received:
    0
    I'm curious on some thoughts you all might have. What are some reasons that you consider "valid" that would cause you to leave a church and find a new church home?


    Also, have any of you ever left a church, and if so what led you to that decision?

    (For this question I am not concerned with the aspect of a move causing you to find a new church.)


    Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
     
  2. abcgrad94

    abcgrad94
    Expand Collapse
    Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2007
    Messages:
    5,533
    Likes Received:
    0
    Legitimate reasons to leave a church:

    1. The pastor/teachers are teaching blatant hearesy and when confronted, refuse to stop.
    2. Serious moral failing that would disqualify the pastor, yet he continues to stay at the church. (having an affair, stealing, child abuse, etc.)
    3. You are required to spend so much time at church and church activities that you must neglect your family (This could be resolved without leaving in some cases.)



    Non-Legitimate reasons to leave:
    1. You don't like the music style
    2. The pastor preaches from the Old Testament too often
    3. You don't like the pastor's personality or leadership style (you think he's too bossy or not assertive enough)
    4. You don't get your way or have control over all the areas you'd like to
    5. You don't think the pastor preaches enough about certain subjects you'd like to see addressed more often.
    6. The pastor and his wife and kids aren't perfect
     
  3. drfuss

    drfuss
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 26, 2005
    Messages:
    1,692
    Likes Received:
    0
    We left a church 17 years ago to come to our present church because the music changed from traditional music to loud contemporary music with the rock and roll beat. The loud rock beat was only not to our liking, but it was irritating to us; perhaps because we are both musically inclined.

    Our current church has had good traditional music until about five years ago when they started to mix contemporary music with traditional music. We have found some music that is considered contemporary to be worshipful, but not that with the rock beat. Now it is almost all contemporary with some rock beat. Unfortunatly, what used to be a high part of the service is now the low part.
     
  4. abcgrad94

    abcgrad94
    Expand Collapse
    Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2007
    Messages:
    5,533
    Likes Received:
    0
    I should have added on my post, that the words and music should honor Christ. As long as it is honoring Christ, not the singer or the songwriter or the flesh, personal preference should not be a reason to leave. I do not believe all traditional music honors Christ, nor does all CCM.
     
  5. Jim1999

    Jim1999
    Expand Collapse
    <img src =/Jim1999.jpg>

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2002
    Messages:
    15,460
    Likes Received:
    0
    I loved the big bands of my early era, but not in church. A choir, organ and piano and the odd singing group. When a drum beats, I beat it!

    Cheers,

    Jim
     
  6. Zenas

    Zenas
    Expand Collapse
    Active Member

    Joined:
    May 7, 2007
    Messages:
    2,640
    Likes Received:
    6
    Church membership is not like a marriage. When you join you make no commitment to stay a certain period of time. You may leave for any reason or no reason at all because staying in a particular church is not part of your covenant with God. I have been a member of the same church for 34 years but if I became dissatisfied for any reason, I would leave and join another church.
     
  7. drfuss

    drfuss
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 26, 2005
    Messages:
    1,692
    Likes Received:
    0
    I also should have added that we stayed in the church we left for about two years after if went to the contemporary Christian rock music. After sitting through two years of contemporary Christian rock song services that were sometimes irritating to us, we left. I think it is important to go to a church where you feel comfortable (not irritated) while worshipping the Lord.

    I have found that people that are not musically inclined are not as adversely affected by the Christain rock music as those who are musically inclined.
     
    #7 drfuss, Oct 31, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 31, 2009
  8. annsni

    annsni
    Expand Collapse
    Administrator
    Administrator

    Joined:
    May 30, 2006
    Messages:
    20,149
    Likes Received:
    365
    A few things would be:

    * Straying from orthodox Christian teaching - the "essentials" of the faith
    * Major sin being allowed in the church without discipline
    * Lack of Spirit-led growth in the church
    * Lack of strong spiritual leadership
    * Weakening the Gospel to make people feel more comfortable
    * Money mismanagement

    I'm sure there are other things but those stick out in my mind.

    We left a church after 13 years and it was a really difficult decision. We left for a pile of reasons that, each in itself were not enough reason to leave but put together really made it impossible for us to minister and be ministered to. So we found a church where God really seemed to lead us and now 13 years later, my husband is one of the pastors and he will be leading the team in a new church plant. I think the move was the right thing to do.
     
  9. billreber

    billreber
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 14, 2005
    Messages:
    461
    Likes Received:
    0
    In addition to the items listed before this post, I think there is ONE valid option not yet mentioned -- God is leading you elsewhere.

    The only times I have "left a church" in my life have been because of military moves (which are intentionally left out of this discussion), except for the last time. In that case, the membership of the church elected to close the congregation because of lack of membership and excess bills (poor way of saying it, but truthful). We put the facilities up for sale, sold them to another Baptist congregation, which have spent 9 years building a small group of people into a new church mission. My darling wife and I joined another congregation 17 miles away, under the guidance of God, and have never been led by God to go anywhere else.

    Bill :godisgood:
     
  10. donnA

    donnA
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2000
    Messages:
    23,354
    Likes Received:
    0
    After spending several years of being told I could not serve God there, I was not going to be allowed to do anything there, we finally left.
     
  11. Bible Believing Bill

    Bible Believing Bill
    Expand Collapse
    <img src =/bbb.jpg>

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2001
    Messages:
    3,761
    Likes Received:
    0
    We have left churches twice. The first time there it was because God was telling us to leave, and we fought Him on that for two years. Those were two of the worst years of my life. In the end God made it so bad for us there we had to walk out.

    The second time we left because the pastor lied to us.

    While I believe that you shouldn't hop from church to church, there is nothing that says you must stay in the same church all your life. If you can find the church home that gives you God's Peace for your entire life then you are truly blessed.

    God may lead us to a certain church for a time because there is something there for us to learn, but that may not the place he wants us to be forever. How many Pastors stay at the same church for their entire life? Some do and some don't, but we don't expect them to stay forever. Why should a member be held to a higher standard than the Pastor?



    Bill
     
  12. greek geek

    greek geek
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2003
    Messages:
    115
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thank you all for your replies. Your replies have given me much to think about.
     
  13. abcgrad94

    abcgrad94
    Expand Collapse
    Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2007
    Messages:
    5,533
    Likes Received:
    0
    I forgot to add, we have left three churches. One was because of blatant sin in the church that was not addressed/corrected by the pastor/elders, the second was left on good terms when my dh got ordained for ministry, and the third because the pastor lied to us on more than one occasion and was purposely not following the church constitution.
     

Share This Page

Loading...