What if we met in person?

Discussion in 'Baptist Theology & Bible Study' started by Herald, Jun 21, 2013.

  1. Herald

    Herald
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    For those of us whose theology is radically different because of the "C" word, what would happen if you found yourself face-to-face with your "opponent"? Let us say that providence brought two of you together at a social event. Unless the both of you were complete cads, and avoided each other, how would you treat your "erring" brother? Would the same vitriol, insults, and cutting remarks that often accompany conversation on the BB be continued in person or would you find yourself being kind and considerate? Do you think that direct human interaction will somehow cause you to connect with the other person in a way that cannot be done on a message board? And if that is true, why would we be one way online and another way in person? Is that not, well, hypocritical?

    By the way, I am including myself when I ask these questions. I would like to think I am the same in person as I am online, but I realize that I sometimes allow emotions to hold sway here on the BB; something that I am less prone to do face to face.
     
  2. saturneptune

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    Probably the way to answer that question is to ask someone who has seen us eyeball to eyeball. For example, in my case, one could ask Tom Butler, as he sees me several times a week. He sees my posts here and demeanor in everyday life. The best testimony is a person that has actually experienced it.

    In general, however, an in person contact has got to be less confrontational. It is easy to hide behind a keyboard. If a pastor on this board said some of the things to his congregation on Sunday morning that he posts on this board, he might get the collective boot from the altar out the sanctuary door. If someone is sitting eyeball to eyeball across the table having coffee, and says, "you are a heretic, do you have one iota of integrity, you are a false witness, your conversation is nothing but slander and lies" etc. one might draw back a nub.
     
  3. Herald

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    Well, you and Tom attend the same church, so that is a unique situation. I do not think that dynamic is typical of most people on this board.

    What we consider to be false teaching is deserving of a reaction, but in a local church setting it is usually handled much differently. There is the opportunity to meet with the person face to face; to counsel and instruct. There may be associate pastors or elders to lend support. Not so much in here.
     
  4. saturneptune

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    What I find is a typical pattern on this board is there are those who are here to evoke a reaction of anger from others and there are those who are lead into it. In my case, I am lead into it. With a new poster say, if they start off with a civil tone, even in disagreements, they get one back from me. If they start off with an immediate opposite tone, I find myself letting it go for say the first three or four times. However, when it continues, it seems a line is crossed, then I go after them. When this happens, the poster accomplished his or her mission.

    This is a distinct minority of posters, and in my case, I would say there are a half dozen floating around that have not been banned. The solution to this is not to be lead down the path. If one can learn to recognize those who are here for dissention and not discussion, one can ignore them. Of course that takes perception and maturity. The common term for them is trolls.

    Of course, sometimes posts are honestly going to get out of hand. I think some of the characteristics of those who are here to play games are the ones that harp on one issue, such as Calvinism, or KJVO for example, never traveling to another thread. Another way to recognize them is that in every post they make there will be phrases like "you are a heretic, you have no integrity" etc. These people excel at using the word "you."
     
  5. convicted1

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    In all honesty, we should post to each other the same way we would want to be posted to. I have dropped the ball many times on here, myself, so I am pointing three fingers at myself first. But none of us has always been cordial to our fellow Brethern , imo. The sad part is we could always post this way, but choose not to....:tear:
     
  6. Pastor_Bob

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    I believe it has a great deal to do with the anonymity of the poster. If no one knows who they are, they feel more free to post anyway they want. They are basically free from any and all personal backlash. I tend to think that these people are timid and non-confrontational face-to-face. They use their anonymity to bolster their courage and say things that they would never say to someone face-to-face.

    For those of us who put our faces behind our posts, we tend to be more careful in our demeanor. That's my 2 cents. :thumbs:
     
  7. 12strings

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    I attend a church with a large mixed bag of beliefs on the C/A spectrum...5 pointers, 4-pointers, not sure, 4-point arminians, and 5-point arminians...and one deacon who believes Election is all of God's will, but people can then abandon the faith... I believe that most in the congregation know that our pastor is a calvinist, and have some idea that the word is connected with predestination...but it has not been a big issue. One particular church member likes to make jokes about the calvinist pastor, but its all in good fun. We did a Sunday school series on salvation a few years ago, and I got stuck teaching the week on Election/predestination. We had a good discussion, and simply agreed to disagree, ie, The calvinistic leadership does not expect every church member to agree with them on election. If it comes up, we treat those with questions with respect and try to answer their questions the best we can. Then we go on missions trips to Haiti together, and one arminian couple buys the calvinist Pastor a big chunk of Beef every Christmas to show their appreciation for his leadership.
     
  8. JohnDeereFan

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    While most of the Finneyists I meet in real life are OK, I have no doubt that the Finneyists here would be just as rude and obnoxious in real life as they are here.
     
  9. InTheLight

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    9 Also He spoke this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and despised others:
    10 “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector.
    11 The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, ‘God, I thank You that I am not like other men—extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this tax collector.
    12 I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I possess.’
    13 And the tax collector, standing afar off, would not so much as raise his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me a sinner!’
    14 I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”


    What goes around, comes around, eh?

    http://www.baptistboard.com/showpost.php?p=1998470&postcount=13
     
  10. InTheLight

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    I would say something about our differences in doctrine, like, "I know where you stand on _________, and you know where I stand so let's not visit that topic. Let's just be glad that we are forgiven and our names are in the Book of Life."
     
  11. JohnDeereFan

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    Not really. That refers to someone exalting himself and his own goodness and proclaiming his righteousness before God, not pointing out that somebody has behaved rudely.
     
  12. webdog

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    Good thread! I think a lot would play into it based on the occasion, venue, etc. There would be a difference between a small group study and say a graduation party, but in general most wouldn't dare talk to someone in person the way they do here. If someone told me to my face I serve another god because I'm not a Calvinist, they better be doing it running away from me as fast as possible :laugh:
     
  13. Pastor_Bob

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    For the most part, I agree with this position. However, not all of us agree on the foundational doctrines of the Word of God. Some have a very different view of salvation than do others. In certain cases, I'm not sure that we can even agree that the other has even been forgiven or that their name is in the Book of Life.

    Amos 3:3 Can two walk together, except they be agreed? (KJV)
     
  14. InTheLight

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    Just.....never mind. It's not worth expounding on.
     
  15. JohnDeereFan

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    Yeah, I didn't think so, either.
     
  16. quantumfaith

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    Well then, isn't it wonderful that making that determination (if a person is rightly related to God in Christ) is not in OUR job description and that position is already filled.
     
  17. JohnDeereFan

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    Did anybody bother to tell the Finneyists this?
     
  18. Salty

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    What if we met in person?

    I think the first thing that would come to mind would be "You dont look like anything the way I thought you would"

    Of course all you have to do is go to this website of the National Motor Vehicle License Organization (believe it or not - if you don't know the name of the indiviudal their Baptist Board username is sufficent)
     
  19. Pastor_Bob

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    Yes, I agree; it is wonderful. :wavey:
     
  20. Thousand Hills

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