In the past I disliked most of the people around me. They didn't like me and I didn't like them. I guess somehow it's also a protection mechanism. For some reason I'm not very popular with people. They don't like me and as a result I didn't like them either. When I became a christian I was finished with school and hadn't started studying yet. This means I had a distance to everything and now where I didn't have to see all these people anymore I also didn't dislike them anymore. And when I started studying I also didn't have anything against the new people. Back then I thought that becoming a christian had somehow changed me and made me become more friendly but now I realize that it didn't. The only difference was that I was more relaxed because the I had nothing to do with the new people at the university. They were strangers to me. I just saw them but didn't have anything to do with them and because of this I also didn't have negative feelings towards them. But now the same thing starts again. For some reason the few people which I study with and which I always used to talk to and have a pretty good relationship suddenly behave pretty strange. I didn't do anything to them they simply behave strange as if they're not "interested" in me anymore and this angers me. It's always like this. When you know somebody and then this person finds somebody who this person thinks is more cooler then this person will simply focus more on the "cooler" person because being seen with a "cool" person also enhances the own social reputation. This is how it works in the world. But this isn't even the problem of this thread. The problem is that I am once again getting the very same negative feelings like I did in the past. There is no difference at all. I still get the very same "I'm alone and the whole world is against me" feeling which I had before I was a christian and this feeling makes me hate or at least dislike the others around me. What do I do now? What if I simply cannot stop feeling this way? I thought that being a christian had changed this but obviously it hasn't. Does this mean that maybe I'm not even a christian and only thought that I had changed but the truth is I'm still the same? The thing is if I could simply walk away and never see these people then they also wouldn't upset me anymore and I would have peace. It's easy to have peace when you don't see a person. But once you see this person again all the emotions come up again. You may think that you don't dislike a person anymore as long as you don't see it but once you see it again then you realize that all the negative feelings are still there... For example a few days ago I went to the homepage of my old school and a few people which I knew back from school had left their names and pictures there and when I saw these pictures of the people which I already didn't like back then I got the same negative feelings again. Nothing has changed at all. I still don't like them and seeing those pictures somehow upset me.