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What if you're a christian and still don't like people?

Discussion in 'Other Christian Denominations' started by xdisciplex, Nov 16, 2006.

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  1. xdisciplex

    xdisciplex New Member

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    In the past I disliked most of the people around me. They didn't like me and I didn't like them. I guess somehow it's also a protection mechanism. For some reason I'm not very popular with people. They don't like me and as a result I didn't like them either. When I became a christian I was finished with school and hadn't started studying yet. This means I had a distance to everything and now where I didn't have to see all these people anymore I also didn't dislike them anymore. And when I started studying I also didn't have anything against the new people. Back then I thought that becoming a christian had somehow changed me and made me become more friendly but now I realize that it didn't. The only difference was that I was more relaxed because the I had nothing to do with the new people at the university. They were strangers to me. I just saw them but didn't have anything to do with them and because of this I also didn't have negative feelings towards them. But now the same thing starts again. For some reason the few people which I study with and which I always used to talk to and have a pretty good relationship suddenly behave pretty strange. I didn't do anything to them they simply behave strange as if they're not "interested" in me anymore and this angers me. It's always like this. When you know somebody and then this person finds somebody who this person thinks is more cooler then this person will simply focus more on the "cooler" person because being seen with a "cool" person also enhances the own social reputation. This is how it works in the world.
    But this isn't even the problem of this thread. The problem is that I am once again getting the very same negative feelings like I did in the past. There is no difference at all. I still get the very same "I'm alone and the whole world is against me" feeling which I had before I was a christian and this feeling makes me hate or at least dislike the others around me.
    What do I do now? What if I simply cannot stop feeling this way? I thought that being a christian had changed this but obviously it hasn't. :(

    Does this mean that maybe I'm not even a christian and only thought that I had changed but the truth is I'm still the same? :eek:

    The thing is if I could simply walk away and never see these people then they also wouldn't upset me anymore and I would have peace. It's easy to have peace when you don't see a person. But once you see this person again all the emotions come up again. You may think that you don't dislike a person anymore as long as you don't see it but once you see it again then you realize that all the negative feelings are still there...

    For example a few days ago I went to the homepage of my old school and a few people which I knew back from school had left their names and pictures there and when I saw these pictures of the people which I already didn't like back then I got the same negative feelings again. Nothing has changed at all. I still don't like them and seeing those pictures somehow upset me.
     
    #1 xdisciplex, Nov 16, 2006
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 16, 2006
  2. Not_hard_to_find

    Not_hard_to_find Member
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    Somehow, I can understand that.

    But -- on a serious note, check out the story of Paul. Before, when he was Saul, he hated Christians. Persecuted them, brought them to trial and saw to their death -- as he witnessed Stephen's. The change was within himself, not within the Christians -- they hadn't changed at all.

    I do not know what will change you. It would be pure speculation on my part. But I do know that God can and does change people. I know that Romans 8:28 is valid -- And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
     
    #2 Not_hard_to_find, Nov 17, 2006
  3. tragic_pizza

    tragic_pizza New Member

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    xdx, I know what you mean.

    Time and prayer and practice, that's all I can tell ya.

    And let me seriously suggest (as someone who has done this, not as someone implying anything about you) that you consider speaking with a Christian counselor. Sometimes that can help you categorize and deal with the feelings about yourself that trigger the negative emotions.
     
    #3 tragic_pizza, Nov 17, 2006
  4. Radidio

    Radidio New Member

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    I know where you are comming from but as tragic pizza says you need to find help. God Bless
     
    #4 Radidio, Nov 17, 2006
  5. tragic_pizza

    tragic_pizza New Member

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    I don't know that putting it that bluntly is either accurate or helpful.
     
    #5 tragic_pizza, Nov 17, 2006
  6. billwald

    billwald New Member

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    Try prozac
     
    #6 billwald, Nov 17, 2006
  7. tragic_pizza

    tragic_pizza New Member

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    *sigh*

    xdx, I would recommend never asking for spiritual guidance about liking or being nice to people on a Fundie message board. Most of them don't know how.


    :tear:
     
    #7 tragic_pizza, Nov 17, 2006
  8. James_Newman

    James_Newman New Member

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    Don't try prozac, try witnessing to people. It's hard to hate someone while telling them about Jesus.
     
    #8 James_Newman, Nov 17, 2006
  9. webdog

    webdog Active Member
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    ...including you...
     
    #9 webdog, Nov 17, 2006
  10. webdog

    webdog Active Member
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    It was both.
     
    #10 webdog, Nov 17, 2006
  11. tragic_pizza

    tragic_pizza New Member

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    Hi, Pot. Meet my friend, Miss Kettle-Black.
     
    #11 tragic_pizza, Nov 17, 2006
  12. webdog

    webdog Active Member
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    This is just what I am talking about. You condemn others who are not "nice" to you, but I rarely see you pleasant here on the BB. Please, don't be a hypocrite.
     
    #12 webdog, Nov 17, 2006
  13. tragic_pizza

    tragic_pizza New Member

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    This hijack was brought to you by the folks at "Bitter Industries," makers of the "You're A Troll" line of insult products.

    You must no have read my first post to xdx. Typical.
     
    #13 tragic_pizza, Nov 17, 2006
  14. webdog

    webdog Active Member
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    I did, and? Radidio basically said the same thing as you, and you said it was neither helpful or accurate, then went on to condemn the "fundies" on the BB for not being "nice"...as that is something you are. :laugh: Is this about accurate?

    Can you say H-Y-P-O-C-R-I-T-E?
     
    #14 webdog, Nov 17, 2006
  15. tragic_pizza

    tragic_pizza New Member

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    xdisciplex, if you'd like, we can communicate regarding your concerns by PM.
     
    #15 tragic_pizza, Nov 17, 2006
  16. music4Him

    music4Him New Member

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    XDX~
    Thats ok we don't have to like em', but Jesus says we gotta love them. I used to be critical of all the sin, faults, and short commings of others and not looking at what Jesus sees in others. Boy that changed when I really took a look at myself and all the faults and short commings I have. Now my concerns have changed to one question..."are they saved?" So I have to agree with James_Newman when he said...

    :flower:
     
    #16 music4Him, Nov 17, 2006
  17. Radidio

    Radidio New Member

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    Lighten up---I was just validating what you said.

    I said it in one word and you said it in fifteen
     
    #17 Radidio, Nov 17, 2006
  18. tragic_pizza

    tragic_pizza New Member

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    Well, I appreciate the validation, but remember that words mean things and the way we put words carries emotional energy.

    "Maybe you should do what I did, think about Christian counsleing" sounds one way, and "you need help" sounds quite another.

    Especially true in cyberspace, where facial expressions and voice tone is absent.
     
    #18 tragic_pizza, Nov 17, 2006
  19. James_Newman

    James_Newman New Member

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    I think you all need help. Can I tell you about Jesus Christ?
     
    #19 James_Newman, Nov 17, 2006
  20. Ps104_33

    Ps104_33 New Member

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    Get the book "Mere Christianity" by CS Lewis and just read the chapter on Pride.
     
    #20 Ps104_33, Nov 17, 2006
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