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What is going on? Is God against me finishing my degree?!

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by okstateprincess11, Jul 6, 2010.

  1. okstateprincess11

    okstateprincess11 New Member

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    first of all, I am not deceiving the community college as they have a copy of the transcript, second, the situation with my dad has much deeper roots than I thought and that is why I still have yet to tell my dad. Lastly, I understand that life happens, but its not as simple as saying "oh well life happens" sometimes. I would love for it to be that simple but its not. I was merely giving an update. I understand that I will have to seek employment as this will probably be the end of my education and the beginning of my debt. I do not write this reply to be mean or ugly but I write this to inform you that its just not as simple as we all thought.
     
  2. NaasPreacher (C4K)

    NaasPreacher (C4K) Well-Known Member

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    Is there a reason you cannot go to work and finish later?

    The worst thing you can do is hide this from Dad.

    I can't think of much in my Christian life that has worked out the way I planned. God's way is always best anyhow.

    Waiting on God is a strengthening experience.
     
  3. okstateprincess11

    okstateprincess11 New Member

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    My plan was to graduate with my bachelors degree now and save up to go to grad school in the future. If I wait until later for my bachelors degree then I probably lose my chance at grad school. The science field unfortunately doesn't offer very many options without grad school but at least I could have been a lab assistant with the bachelors degree. Now I cant get anywhere in the science field with no degree.
     
  4. NaasPreacher (C4K)

    NaasPreacher (C4K) Well-Known Member

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    Check out Lamentations 3v22-28. God does care enough to address your very situation in His word.
     
  5. NaasPreacher (C4K)

    NaasPreacher (C4K) Well-Known Member

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    Why does all this have to be done right now? Is it your timing or God's?
     
  6. okstateprincess11

    okstateprincess11 New Member

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    Thats the problem! I don't know who's timing it is! I thought this is what God wanted me to do because things were working out so well in the beginning. Now I dont know what to think. I pray about it but I just dont understand
     
  7. NaasPreacher (C4K)

    NaasPreacher (C4K) Well-Known Member

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    When I was your age I too had MY whole future planned and laid out. I had it all figured. I was going to go into the army after college, retire in my early 40s, and go into politics. I even planned to run for president in 2008 or 2012.

    30+ years later, and after a few twists and turns along the way, I am a church planter in Ireland with six kids and five grandkids.

    I wouldn't trade this life for my planned life for anything!

    Don't give up on your dreams. It may or may not be God's plan but sure does not look like it is His time.
     
  8. sag38

    sag38 Active Member

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    I had no money to go to college on so I joined the Army. It was very tough at times but I cherish the experience and my college was paid for. All branches of the military offer some type tuition assistance and loan payoffs.
     
  9. Tom Butler

    Tom Butler New Member

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    And I misread, so I apologize.
     
  10. okstateprincess11

    okstateprincess11 New Member

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    Its okay! I have no ill will toward you!:thumbs:
     
  11. Benjamin

    Benjamin Well-Known Member
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    There is really only one place to begin, AND…

    The place YOU need to prayerfully start at is, first, is in a position of honesty (a firm, quick and tactful message to Mom that you are done deceiving Dad and then come clean; do this alone if possible, do not point fingers at Mom while taking on this responsibility, and let your parents work out those things they need to which you should no longer be in the middle of… having come clean on what you are responsible for).
    Second, when facing your father you need to be “admitting” ALL the wrongs that “YOU” have done regarding the situation; be apologetic and asking for forgiveness.

    Finally, when you get this (anxiety) off your chest you will feel better in short order and will be in the right position to start figuring out what “YOU” will do next to get on tract and accomplish the goals you have. Don’t throw in the towel, take your licking, dust yourself off and get back into the fight.

    Keep close to God through prayer,
    God bless.
     
  12. freeatlast

    freeatlast New Member

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    hello okstateprincess. The problem is that you violated your first responsibility. You did not keep your bills paid. Your creditors are not responsible for your hard times, you are. They just want their money. We are to owe no one anything except love.
    You need to come out of school and go to work until you pay off your loans then return if you can afford it. More credit is not the answer, paying what you owe is. If that means you do not get the education you want then so be it, but get your debts right so you are right with God and then work on the education if possible. if it takes 20 years for the education then that is what it will take, but pay your bills on time or don't make them.
     
    #32 freeatlast, Mar 19, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 19, 2011
  13. okstateprincess11

    okstateprincess11 New Member

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    Let me just say this: My first responsibility was to respect my parents wishes. I was told not to worry about the money and focus on school. By the time I found out there was a problem, it was too late to do anything about it. I am not saying that I am not responsible for some of this but I am saying that either I violate God's wishes. The bible also says honor thy mother and father so do you think I should have disobeyed my parents to keep from having debt?
     
  14. freeatlast

    freeatlast New Member

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    Honoring parents does not mean dishonoring the principles of God. We honor our parents by honoring the principles of God. If parents make bad choices and try and get their children to violate the principles of God then yes the child should disobey the parent, respectfully. So if you want to attend school I suggest that you get a job and pay off the debt as you are of age. It may take longer then you intended but that happens sometimes. Then God can bless you because you will be honoring God by taking responsibility for the debt. The fact that your parents used the funds intended for your education does not releave you of the responsibility. Hopefully they will join in to pay this off if they can, but if not just pay it yourself.
     
    #34 freeatlast, Mar 19, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 19, 2011
  15. Jkdbuck76

    Jkdbuck76 Well-Known Member
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    okstateprincess11 ,

    I know it seems like the end of the world---but God WILL see you thru it if you ask Him to. The Mrs. and I have both lost jobs, had to sell our dream home and even buried our first child. Nothing is more painful than burying your kid.

    But you know what? God saw us thru it all.
     
  16. menageriekeeper

    menageriekeeper Active Member

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    Honey, at least half of your stress and anxitiy (forgive my spelling tonight) is because you are so extremely disappointed that what your parents said and what the truth was ended up being two extremely different things. It is so hard to find out that our parents aren't perfect, that our dreams aren't playing out the way we thought, and that we aren't entitled to the things we thought for years we would be. Its so much easier to put the blame for our problems on God (after all He has big shoulders!) rather than on the bad financial decisions of others. (namely whoever withdrew the money from your college fund and didn't fess up BEFORE they got YOU deeply in debt)

    You have serious problems that appear insurmountable from your persepctive. From our perspective (as folks who have already survived stuff similar) its just another bump in the bumpy road of life.

    Your security is not in the hands of your parents. Their job is basically complete: They raised you to adulthood. Now you have to step out in faith that God indeed has a plan for YOU. A plan for your good. It might not be YOUR plan, but I promise, God's plans are always best. To reach God's goals for you might require you to let go of some of your dreams. Or at least you may have to let go of the timetable you had in mind for realizing those dreams.

    But you can't find God's will for you, while you are still disobeying God's word. Now, don't get offended to quickly and I'll tell you what I mean.

    First off, hiding the sin of someone else makes you a party to that sin. From what you've written, I'm guessing your mother raided your college fund but didn't tell you (until it was too late) and has yet to confess to your father. This is sin. Even if she had good reasons for it, it was still wrong. You protecting her from the consequences of her sin makes you a party to it. IF she had stolen from a store and you told no one and helped her hide the crime you'd be charged as an acessory!

    God tells parents to "not provoke your children to wrath". What do you think that means? It means not to include them in the sins of the parents! Wrath comes to those who do wrong. It means God holds your mother responsible for your sin of hiding her sin. It means her sin is piling up and the consequences are growing. You aren't helping her by hiding what she has done.

    Honestly, unless your parents are divorced, I don't understand how she has kept this issue from your father's attention. But it really doesn't matter. You need to confess both to God (God first) and your father what you have been hiding. Then you have to hang on to your faith while the chips fall. Repeat to yourself every day that God has a plan for your good.

    That doesn't mean there aren't good productive steps that you can take in order to continue your education.

    First, you need your FAFSA. You should have filled this out when you were in high school. You need to get it updated and find out what aid you might qualify for. Remove any inaccurate information (especially the bit about having a college fund!)

    Second, get a copy of your credit report from all three reporting agencies. If there is anything on there that isn't yours (the college debt is yours) then follow the instructions to challenge the debt. Its not hard. This should also give you a good idea of your total debt. (car, college etc)

    Then go to the university and talk to their financial people about what can be done to roll your debt onto a student loan (with your updated FAFSA) or forgiven (due to circumstances, never hurts to ask!). I promise you aren't the only young person out there who has these sorts of problems! Let them help you if they can.

    Then go get a job. The others have told you this and I know it hurts your pride and seems like it is only pushing you farther from your dreams, but a job is a must. You can't keep relying on your parents to pay for your dreams. They've already proven they aren't up to the task in spite of their best intentions. You not working isn't helping them to help you, its only putting them in the postition to keep disappointing you.

    Now, don't think you can't get a job in a science lab without a graduate degree. My sister in law makes very good money with her BS in BioChemistry in a genetics lab at Ohio State (she used to work for Duke!). Go apply and apply often with the transcript you have now at whatever university or industry that you believe will further your studies. Use that entry level position that you get offered to move up in the company and study on the side. You CAN move forward!

    (((hugs)))
     
  17. okstateprincess11

    okstateprincess11 New Member

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    Thanks for all of the advice but I have pretty much given up any hope of working in a lab like I had dreamed. All of my dreams and promises that were made to me have been smashed up to this point and I have just pretty much checked out of life at this point because my credit is in the toilet, I have no money, and the job making minimum wage isnt enough to live on (because I will probably have to find some place else to live after all of this is confessed). I still dont understand why all of my hard work has been for nothing but thats life. I have prayed over this situation for years and I guess its not meant to change. Thanks everyone but I think I am done now.
     
  18. freeatlast

    freeatlast New Member

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    That is most unfortunate. You claim to be a Christian and God is in control of your life. You were happy with Him when all seemed to go your way, but then when He brings diversity you want to bolt. I suggest that you hunker down, get a job and pay for your education yourself even if it takes years. Then you will glorify the Lord and He will return the favor. if you cannot make it through this small battle then what ever you do don't get married and have children as this is just a very small test.
     
    #38 freeatlast, Mar 21, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 21, 2011
  19. gb93433

    gb93433 Active Member
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    Almost every grad school offers tuition waivers and an assistanship. The assistantship will pay from about 12-18k each year. It requires that you work no more than 20 hours each week teaching a class or as a research assistant. So all you would need to pay for is the fees, books, housing and meals. You end up with money left over.
     
  20. okstateprincess11

    okstateprincess11 New Member

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    I am sorry. I apologize. I went to church today and realized what the problem was and I apologize. I should have asked Christ all these questions and not you all because you all are just as flawed as I am. I know now what I have to do.
    In my offense though, I have no problem with putting on my big girl panties and doing what I have to do. I never said I wasnt going to do anything about my problem and I think we all lost sight of the real question I was asking in the beginning. I was asking if God would ever be against me getting an education. I was not blaming God or whining or giving up. I was merely wanting to know the opinions of you all about this question. I am "getting my act together" the best way I know how and if you feel like otherwise then i am sorry. I personally think if you were in my shoes with this situation, you feel the exact same overwhelming hurt that I felt. Furthermore, my parents using my college fund was not stealing nor was it irresponsible. They were merely keeping me and my family from being homeless. That college fund was the last of what we had to make ends meet when my parents were laid off. They didnt feel that it was any of my business, at the time they used it, to know that they were spending it. The only reason they told me that was so that we could make the decision to get the loan. I know that debt goes against the word of God but I dont think its right for you all to put me down because of it. We have all had our debts and we have all had to pay our dues and its my turn now. I am not giving up but I am saying that I may have to give up my dream to take care of business. I have grown up alot and I dont think that its fair to think otherwise. I was merely stating what I have tried and what I know I cant do right now because of laws and the debt that is owed. I said I would seek employment and I have and it hasnt been easy. I have taken every piece of advice given to me and used it. Im sorry you feel otherwise but I think my intentions were taken the wrong way.
     
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