What makes a couple married

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by Crabtownboy, Feb 6, 2013.

  1. Crabtownboy

    Crabtownboy
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    I did not want to guide another thread on marriage down a different rabbit track and decided to post my question in a new thread.

    What makes a marriage a marriage in God's eye.

    It is:

    a marriage certificate?
    a ceremony performed in a church or before a justice?
    a commitment between two people who love for each other to be faithful and live their life together with no marriage certificate or ceremony?

    What makes a marriage in God's eye?
     
  2. salzer mtn

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    What makes a marriage a marriage in Gods eyes? Answer: When a male marries a female :thumbsup:
     
  3. Crabtownboy

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    But what constitutes "marries"?

    Does there have to be a ceremony?
    Does there have to be a marriage license issued by a governmental office?
    Can a couple make vows to each other and abide by them without any church or state involvement?

    Does God view a couple as being married where they have had a ceremony, have a license, but where there is no love for each other?

    Is is possible for a couple to be legally married, but not married in God's eyes?
     
  4. 12strings

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    I would say that a marriage consists of a Covenant & Consumation. There is obviously instances in scripture where physical joining does not equal marraige. so that's out.

    -There has to be some "ceremony" if you want to call it that...it can be as small as the couple & a minister...or a Justice of the peace, in which they covenant to be married to each other. In General, I would say if a couple simply starts sleeping together and move in, then one day they decide they are married...they have overlooked the covenant part, because they could just as easily decide the next day that they aren't married anymore. So I would say, not legit.

    A few more hypothetical examples of my own thoughts...

    1. A couple who decides to get married, goes to the courthouse and gets the license, then they are married.

    2. A couple Has a Marriage ceremony with a minister and all their family, but for religious reasons, does not get it registered with the state...I would say they are married...Also...I can forsee a day in the U.S. when the Government definition of marriage is so useless that many Christians may prefer this.

    3. I could imagine a situation in which an engaged couple are shipwrecked on an island, realize no one is coming to rescue them, so they commit before God to marry and be faithful to each other for life...they have intercourse, give birth to a few children, and 7 years later they are rescued...I would say even though they don't get the govt paper, ceremony, or even the minister's blessing till then, they were married on the island and did not fornicate.

    4. If a couple covenants to be married, yet love does not exist between them, I would say they are still married, and if they commit before God to truly honoring their marriage commitments...then love will grow. This could be the case in an arranged marraige, or one in which the couple simply stops loving each other...it doesn't mean the marraige has ended in God's eyes.

    5. It is possible for a couple to be legally married, but not married in God's eyes...if one spouse is secretly already married to another person, for example...or if they are both men, for example.
     
  5. Scarlett O.

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    God says that marriage is between a male and female eligle to be married. He also says we are to obey our government unless our government asks us to disobey Him.

    The United States asks for a marriage license - just like a hunting or fishing license. No white dress, no preacher, no cake, no bridesmaids, no organ music - all of that is just tradition.

    Someone authorized by the government such AS a preacher or judge or anyone else given that authority must sign the license saying, in essense, "you are married"

    [SIZE=3][B][I][U]So ... man and woman ... biblically eligi[SIZE=3]ble to be married t[SIZE=3]o one another ... [/SIZE][/SIZE]li[/U][/I][/B][SIZE=3][B][I][U]cen[/U][/I][/B][SIZE=3][B][I][U]se signed by someone given the authority to do so and that's i[/U][/I][/B][SIZE=3][B][I][U]t. Anything else [SIZE=3]is fluff.[/SIZE][/U][/I][/B]

    [SIZE=3]Sex is an important part of marriage and should be [SIZE=3]participated in[/SIZE], but those [SIZE=3]who are [/SIZE]disabled who cannot ever consummate a marriage are still married nonetheless. Sex does not make you married[SIZE=3] in the United States or in God's eyes[SIZE=3] in 2013.[/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE]
    [/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE]
     
  6. OldRegular

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    I would say all three are essential in the sight of God. Of course without the third the first two are worthless!

    Obviously in the sight of God marriage is only between a man and a woman. It should not be necessary to say this on a Christian Forum but sadly that is the state we live in now.
     
    #6 OldRegular, Feb 6, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 6, 2013
  7. 12strings

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    I agree completely. A couple could be medically prevented from intercourse and remain faithfully married for years.

    Also...I believe the covenant between God and man signifies the actual time of the marraige: Our minister forgot to sign the marraige license untill the next day, when he signed it and sent it in to the state...We found this out a week after the wedding...so were we not married on our honeymoon night? Yikes???!!!
     
  8. preachinjesus

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    Crabby has a really good question, because it is important to answer properly in this day and age.

    12strings has probably the best point in reply: covenant and consumation.

    When we read the Bible and look towards its theology of marriage we that both of these things are essential to the marriage bound. It begins with covenant and entering into the covenant of God togetherthis , in a loving, biblical relationship between a man and a woman only. The only condoned form of marriage in the Bible is this one, a man and a woman. While God has used, and continues to use, people who are outside of this form, His plan is a demonstration of His eschatological plan.

    That's a pretty huge thing to think about: marriage is an eschatological covenant that represents the symbol of God's salvation for humanity and forthcoming fulfillment of His plan.

    The second part that 12strings mentions is that part of the consumation. The reality here is that sex is the seal of marriage. I won't get into all my theology on that because that kind of talk isn't welcome here, but it is the plan of God to seal marriage through this bond that is only to be shared in marriage.
     
    #8 preachinjesus, Feb 6, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 6, 2013
  9. 12strings

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    WOO-HOO! I win! :applause::tonofbricks:
     
  10. percho

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    Eph 5:31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined (cleave) unto his wife,

    I would in the eyes of God that is a covenant.

    and they two shall be one flesh. The covenant is ratified.

    This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Eph 5:32
     
  11. Arbo

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    Next thread: Humility...:tongue3:
     
  12. preachinjesus

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    [​IMG]

    I just like to point out things that I think are well reasoned. You made a good point. :thumbsup:
     
  13. michael-acts17:11

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    Let me ask the question in a different manner.

    What definition of marriage would apply to all persons in all ages? What aspects of marriage would qualify a man & women as married in the eyes of God regardless of the time, location, or the law?

    For those who cite the law of the land, what about slaves who "jumped the broom" in contradiction to the law? Were their marriages legitimate or not? Why or why not? I believe they were married because marriage is not entered into by the permission or authority of the state. It is a vow made between two people & consummated in the marriage bed.
     
  14. Bro. Curtis

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    A couple meets, falls in love, promises unending devotion, lives together, has children, raises them proper in all aspects of life, and lives, struggles, laughs, and ages together, until one of the passes.

    What sins have they committed ?
     
  15. righteousdude2

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    What Does CTB Say A Marriage Is?

    Before I even enaswer this, I want to hear the inner thinkings of CTB on this question he so wel posed! Well. I'm wating! :smilewinkgrin:
     
  16. Scarlett O.

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    How could jumping the broom be in contradiction of the law when it's just a tradition like a bride and groom reguritating man-made vows?

    Slaves were not considered citizens and had their own rules and regulations of a culture. Besides, marriage licenses were non-existent until the Civil War was almost over anyway and the government only began requiring them to prevent inter-racial marriages. Before that, common-law marriages were the norm.

    Of course their marriages were legitimate.


    It is in the United States. Like it or not. Agree with it or abhor it. Practice it or not. And because God said to obey the law unless it's in defiance of His nature - a man and woman should buy a license and have it signed if they want their marriage to be legally recognized.

    We can debate the merits of the requirement of a license, but until the laws are changed, I think the LORD expects us to (for the most part) to honor the government.

    What about those unable to have sex? Are their marriages not legitimate?

    What makes a bed a "marriage bed" if it's just sex after a vow? Aren't there lots of people who swear undying loyalty and fidelity to at least half a dozen sexual partners before they finally meet the right one and marry with a license? Are those people married to all of those people to whom they made - in-the-moment - genuine promises to and then had sex with?

    Is that all it takes? An "I'll love you forever - now let's get busy?" If that's the case - there are a lot of people who have lots of spouses.
     
    #16 Scarlett O., Feb 6, 2013
    Last edited: Feb 6, 2013
  17. Crabtownboy

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    Bro. Curtis, thanks for the reply. This is an excellent example to discuss.

    It seems to me this couple has more of a marriage than a couple who had a church wedding, have a marriage certificate but have ended up hating each other, having nasty disagreements, playing children off against the other, etc.

    The second couple, to me, may be married, but they do not have a marriage.


    I have mulled this question of what makes a marriage for a number of years and have decided that simply because a couple are legally married does not mean they have a marriage.

    In some states, I think currently about 15, common law marriages are recognized. Again, this is a legally recognized state of marriage. But, a gain this may not mean the couple has a marriage.

    It seems to me that to have a true marriage there has to be a good, loving, faithful relationship.

    I welcome thoughtful ideas on this as I am still pondering the question.
     
  18. Oldtimer

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    As stated, you've left out an element in your list. Where is God in the space between "devotion," and "lives together"? Couples practicing any of the major/minor world's religions can do the same things on your list. And, so can those who avow there's no such thing as God or a god.

    It appears there's an agreement that marriage is a covenant between a man, a woman, and God. I'm not enough of a Bible scholar to know the answer to this question. Perhaps someone else can advise.

    Are witnesses required to declare that a covenant has been established? Whether it's standing before a preacher (or JP) saying vows or jumping over a broom held by a person(s)? Is a marriage covenant valid if it's never proclaimed as such?

    IMO, all who have omitted God from their covenant have sinned. What sins? Any/all mentioned in the scriptures when a marriage isn't valid (for lack of a better term) in the eyes of God.
     
  19. Oldtimer

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    Genesis 2: KJB
    24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

    Cleave: Webster's 1828 Dictionary http://www.1828-dictionary.com/d/search/word,cleave
    Covenant: Websters 1828 http://www.1828-dictionary.com/d/search/word,covenant

    I've got a question that I've wondered about for quite some time. Hope someone can shed more light on this.

    and they shall be one flesh.

    How can man and woman become one flesh?

    They make their covenant with God, then cleave to each other on their wedding night.

    One man plus one woman = one child (one flesh) A portion from one (DNA contribution) received and combined with a portion from the other become one flesh when a child is conceived.

    At the point and time that they cleave to each other, isn't that the equivalent of radification (consumation) of their marriage?

    The man and woman aren't one flesh, themselves. Their union can produce one flesh.

    Right? Wrong? The child they conceive is the "one flesh" spoken of in this scripture?
     
  20. Bro. Curtis

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    Well I'm glad God tells you which ones are valid and which ones are not.

    Montana does not have any laws against co-habitation. And I see no requirement for witnesses in scripture.

    Still waiting for the list of sins my fictitious couple have committed.
     

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