This was from Dec 24, 2009 DEAR ABBY: I hope you can help with an etiquette question. With same-sex marriage becoming more commonplace, how should I address a letter to a same-sex couple? Example: Now that Ellen DeGeneres has married Portia de Rossi, would I write to "Mrs. and Mrs. Ellen DeGeneres"? "The Ellen DeGeneres Family"? or "Ellen and Portia DeGeneres"? None of the manners books that I have checked has been able to provide an answer, and I have not seen the issue in print. What do you think? -- STRAIGHT, NOT NARROW IN GLENDALE, ARIZ. DEAR STRAIGHT, NOT NARROW: Because this topic is so new, there isn't one hard-and-fast answer to your question. Some couples keep or change their individual names, some join their names together with a hyphen, others select a name together and adopt it. If you have a question about how a particular couple would prefer their mail to be addressed, my advice is to ask them So what would you do?