What to Call them?

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by Salty, Feb 10, 2009.

  1. Salty

    Salty
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    This was from Dec 24, 2009

    DEAR ABBY: I hope you can help with an etiquette question. With same-sex marriage becoming more commonplace, how should I address a letter to a same-sex couple?

    Example: Now that Ellen DeGeneres has married Portia de Rossi, would I write to "Mrs. and Mrs. Ellen DeGeneres"? "The Ellen DeGeneres Family"? or "Ellen and Portia DeGeneres"? None of the manners books that I have checked has been able to provide an answer, and I have not seen the issue in print. What do you think? -- STRAIGHT, NOT NARROW IN GLENDALE, ARIZ.
    DEAR STRAIGHT, NOT NARROW: Because this topic is so new, there isn't one hard-and-fast answer to your question. Some couples keep or change their individual names, some join their names together with a hyphen, others select a name together and adopt it. If you have a question about how a particular couple would prefer their mail to be addressed, my advice is to ask them

    So what would you do?
     
  2. Jim1999

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    We have a lesbian couple in our village and I address them by their first names. If I had to mail something I would include both their full names on envelope.

    Cheers,

    Jim
     
  3. matt wade

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    If (for some strange reason) I had to send a same sex "couple" mail, I would send them individual letters. I wouldn't address it in any matter which implied they are a couple.
     
  4. donnA

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    hummm


    To do anything else would imply acceptance of their situation as a homosexual 'couple'.
     
  5. menageriekeeper

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    LOL, so ignoring the fact that they live in the same house as if they are family somehow shows your disdain for their lifestyle? I'm really, what are you accomplishing by denying the plain facts of their lives?

    I find it really strange that Christ could sit down and eat dinner with prostitutes and tax collectors but some can't address a letter to two people at one time. :rolleyes: Not exactly what I call loving the sinner while hating the sin.
     
  6. Revmitchell

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    Apples and refrigerators. Such a position is not antithetical to Christ. He forgave a prostitute and said "go and sin no more". Should we end our letter to homosexuals with the same?
     
  7. matt wade

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    What I'm accomplishing is standing up for what is right and God's word. The reason homosexual perversions are as easily accepted in today's society is a direct result from people like you and the attitude you hold about it. By your way of thinking, a preacher should marry them because if he didn't he would be "denying the plain facts of their lives"!

    The plain fact is that they are living in sin. I don't hate them, but I do hate their sin and I will not show an acceptance of that sin by sending them a letter addressed in a manner which tolerates the sinful behavior. By addressing a letter to a couple you are saying to them that their behavior is OK by you (and if you are a Christian then you are being a witness for God and saying it is OK by Him).

    Before someone brings it up, yes I would treat two heterosexual people living together before marriage in the same way. They would get seperate letters.
     
  8. Jim1999

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    I call these girls by their first names....That's what I call Jack who lives down the street. That's what I call Sue who lives over the river. So I address the two lesbians by their names............That's who they are. Two ladies who happen to be lesbians.

    The one is a medical doctor and daughter of Baptist missionaries. She was born on the mission field and is now disowned by her mother. I befriended her from the very beginning. Read scripture with them and have prayer. The other girl uses my land for her beehives. They are friends who happen to be lesbian. You never win a friend by hollering at them.

    Cheers,

    Jim
     
  9. donnA

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    We should never ever allow anyone to believe we accept or approve of their sin.
     
  10. matt wade

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    What's your point Jim, because I think you missed the point of the OP. It was specifically asking how to address a letter to the "couple". If their names are Jill and Annie, are you going to address a letter to "Jill & Annie"?

    No one here has advocated "hollering" at anybody. "Hollering" would be a pretty tough thing to do via a letter.

    Of course if I knew these people I would address them by their first names, or if they happen to be significantly my seniors I might call them Mam or Ms. Whatever.
     
  11. menageriekeeper

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    Apples need a good refrigerator is you want them to stay crisp!

    What sort of prostitutes do you think Christ ate with? Maybe you need to read up on Roman history so you'll have a better idea of what the word prostitute included.

    Do you really think every single prostitute that He came across accepted His message when even the religious folk of that day did not?

    Because Christ told this one and that "to go and sin no more" doesn't mean that He was rude. As I recall, He only used those words to folk who accepted Him and never do I recall Him using them toward one who had no faith. Since sin is common to all men and women, would you appreciate it if I ended a letter to you with those same words? How about if a homosexual ended a letter to you with those words? Now tell me what the difference is in your response to me as opposed to what your response would be to the homosexual who used the same words.

    People have names and addresses. It is not condoning sin to use them. :rolleyes:
     
  12. Revmitchell

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    And maybe not

    Irrelevant

    And who has suggested being rude?

    Then you need to read up a bit.

    Again irrelevant

    Who suggested not using these?
     
  13. menageriekeeper

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    Talk about apples and oranges!

    So it is standing up for God to not address a single letter to two people who live in the same household? Go through the logic of that with me cause I'm just not seeing it.

    And how did we get from addressing envelopes to marriage?

    Since we did, I'll give you my opinion. Homosexuals can term their 'unions' with any word of their pleasing. Words are just semantics. So if the want to "get married" well they can try. Thing is, they don't have a God given pattern for what such a thing should look like. They can say they are married all they want. In the eyes of the government it might have some weight. In the eyes of God? Well it makes about as much impression on Him as any other sin.

    See we worry way to much about the trappings of sin and not nearly enough about the TRAP of sin. If we got busy reaching the hearts of sinful man instead of trying to clean up the outside of him, then we would reap the harvest. All this condemnation from those of us who know the freedom that life in Christ gives us, should be ashamed of how we treat others we deem "too sinful to talk to."

    And when we can't address an envelope to two people living in sin, then we have deemed then with our actions "too sinful to talk too." No wonder they hate us so.
     
  14. menageriekeeper

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    It is irrelevant only because you don't want to take a look at how your repsonses to simple things like "how to address a letter to a lesbian couple" and see how that response turns people away from Christ instead of toward Him.
     
  15. Revmitchell

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    Apparently you err because you do not know scripture. We do not ignore the righteousness of God in a false attempt to win those to Christ. Jesus called the Pharisees the sons of Satan. Do you object to that?

    In fact the gospel itself will drive people away from the gospel. The gospel is not beholden to a recognition of sin.

    There is nothing rude about finding a way to address people without recognizing their sin as normal.
     
  16. matt wade

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    You obvsiously don't read what I say very well. I've stated I would send them letters, just individually. How is that showing with my actions they are "too sinful to talk to"?

    If this same couple came into your church, would you allow them to openly kiss one another? Would you allow them to partipate in a married couples sunday school? Would you allow them to teach a sunday school class together as other married couples might? By your own words we should do this otherwise we are "denying the plain facts of their lives".

    Maybe we should allow drunks to preach on sunday morning since it's just a plain fact that they are a drunk and we can't hold that against them.

    Watering down sin is not the way to get people to salvation. They have to know what sin is and why they need a Savior from it.
     
  17. donnA

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    no one said other wise,
    it is wrong when you send one letter to both, same as you would a mr & mrs accepting the fact they are a couple, this action approves them as a couple.

    same household, fine, one couple, lesbians, then no. not unless you intend on approving and overlooking.

    and christians should never play this game by giving their approval by calling them a couple, and addressing an envelop and/or letter to both, as a couple is just that.

    Haven't seen anyone say anything like this, please show where.

    they hate us becasue Jesus said they hate Him they'll hate us. Nothing else. Evil hates righteousness, and the natural man hates anything of God, as scriptures tells us.
     
    #17 donnA, Feb 11, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 11, 2009
  18. donnA

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    The bible tells us that only God draws people to Christ, not us, otherwise we'd be responsible for people being saved, or not, and scripturally we are not, unless we think we are god.
     
  19. Marcia

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    I would be able to sit down and eat with them as long as they were not claiming to be Christians (which many do).

    If they had had some kind of marriage ceremony and hyphenated their names, I would likely address it
    Letter to Ms. Jill Name-Othername
    and letter to
    Ms. Sally Name-Othername

    Since they changed their name legally (I would assume such), I would use it but address it that way.
     
    #19 Marcia, Feb 11, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 11, 2009
  20. Marcia

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    I agree with Matt. He makes some good points.

    I can tell you that after having dealt with a lot of gay people and gay couples as a (former) New Ager and astrologer, that being wishy washy on beliefs does not impress them. You should be kind and low-key, imo, but firm on your beliefs and not do any action that could be interpreted as condoning their lifestyle (including gay union/marriage).

    If you are ambiguous, they will see this as either weak or misleading, or even deceptive on your part.
     

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