What would you do if you were me?

Discussion in '2000-02 Archive' started by susanpet, Aug 21, 2002.

  1. susanpet

    susanpet
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    Hi guys. My husband wants me to go with him to his church(apostolic) this Saturday for a birthday dinner. I dread going because I know I will be put on the spot because of my baptist belief.
    What do I say when asked why I don't go to his church with him?
    I know these people and they like to tell me I have never been saved and all that. Needless to say, I am VERY nervous about going. But my husband has gone to my church twice for dinners and Christmas play. I guess I should go, but I know I will get all defensive and probably say more than I should.
    Any advice?

    In Christ
    Susan
     
  2. Mike McK

    Mike McK
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    I would just politely say, "Thank you for your interest in my spiritual well being but tonight is _______'s birthday and I came to honor him. If you'd like to debate religion, we can do that another time."

    How does your husband feel about the way you're treated there?

    As your husband, it's his responsibility to stand up for you.

    Mike

    [ August 21, 2002, 03:30 PM: Message edited by: Smoke_Eater ]
     
  3. Abiyah

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    My husband and I are different religions, too. I
    find that the more I go with him, the more the
    people know me, and the friendlier they are. I go
    with him a little more than I used to, making sure
    I get to at least one service every couple weeks.

    There was one time when, in his Sunday
    school class, the subject was wisdom.
    Several people came up to me the next time
    they saw me and asked me all about my pastor
    and beliefs. One of them finally told me that my
    husband had said, in class, that the wisest man
    he knew was one of my pastors. This, of course,
    opened a lot of dialog during which the people
    got to know a little more about me and my be-
    liefs.

    I would go and just let them see the light of
    the Lord in me, and if they harass you, don't
    hand it back.

    I am not sure what you mean by "apostolic,"
    because I have run across many who call
    themselves by this name--Catholics, holiness-
    pentecostals, and Jesus Onlies. I do know
    that the Jesus Onlies like to tease people of
    other beliefs a lot, and the teasing can be in
    good humor or quite vicious. As far as the
    holiness-pentecostals, they usually are very
    sweet to your face but they don't have much
    to say as they walk away in great pity, because
    they believe that anyone not attending their
    church is almost surely hell-bound; minimally,
    they have a "lesser gospel."

    Whomever they are, just be yourself and go,
    then be glad that you have taken care of your
    obligation for a while. It is difficult for both
    when we are of different religions, I know. The
    two of us have pretty well worked it out, but
    I feel bad for not being more supportive of my
    husband and his choices.

    [ August 21, 2002, 03:50 PM: Message edited by: Abiyah ]
     
  4. hrhema

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    Suggestion:

    Maybe you can get your husband interested in talking to someone who has come out of the Apostolics. There are plenty out there including myself who left Baptist churches and went into that then came out.
     
  5. susanpet

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    In reply to Abiyah's question, it is a oneness pentacostal church and they can be vicious as you implied. I have dealt with them before and that is why I am nervous about going.

    As far as him talking to a former "oneness", I don't know of any personally. And I doubt it would do any good cause his entire side of the family are onenesses.
    But I will go and take the Lord with me and pray that it will be over fast :D

    In Christ
    Susan
     
  6. Scott J

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    My situation is a little different in that I am the husband but my wife used to attend a Church of God. When we married, she submitted to follow me to church. Granted they aren't as far askew as the Oneness folks. However, she did believe in tongues, prophecies, and that you could lose salvation.

    I didn't argue with her about it. I just tried to fulfill my role as a biblical husband and showed her why I believed as I did from the Bible. But most importantly, I prayed that God would reveal the truth to one of us. Over the past several years God has answered that prayer. One of the answers was that he put us into a particular Baptist church with such unity and godliness that my wife ceased to view pentacostals as holier people.

    My wife had grown up in a dead SBC church. She had seen their loose behaviour, their lack of a stand, and their infighting. She was easily swayed by the Church of God because she had never seen Baptists that behaved like a Christian should.

    Within the past year, I over heard her tell one of our kids that "you can only be saved once." The issue of sign gifts does not come up often but she has been critical of a friend who went to see Benny Hinn. She is definitely more skeptical of experential religion than she was before.

    My only suggestions are to be a strong biblical wife and pray...pray...pray that God will open your husbands eyes, mind, and heart.
     
  7. Scott J

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    I guess I went a little further than your original question. My suggestion is that you arm yourself with scripture and go. Find "assurance" verses to memorize.

    You might need the scripture to defend your claim to salvation or you might just use it to comfort yourself when they attack. Either way, if you demonstrate the fruits of the Spirit (Gal 5:22-25), you may win your husband by your godly behaviour.
     
  8. susanpet

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    I could say every verse in the Bible and I am sure they have a different interpertation.
    But I will be nice and just walk away if they get too harrasive. At least I will try, I have always had a defensive nature.
    It's just that I don't like the way they make me feel. I almost get sick. Panic attack, you know :eek:

    Susan
     
  9. susanpet

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    You know, I would go to a lot of functions at his church if it didn't make me feel the way it does. I actually get "sick" and feel like I am loosing control when I am around any of them. I feel like a cornered animal seeking escape.
    What's wrong with me? :(

    Susan
     
  10. Abiyah

    Abiyah
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    If I remember correctly, they believe one is not
    saved until they speak in tongues and are
    baptized in "Jesus' name." They also believe
    that the Holy Spirit is an "it" and they have been
    known to teach people how to "speak in
    tongues" by talking faster and faster until they
    and their tongues get confused. I have been
    in their services a few times (my best friend in
    high school was UPC), and I remember her
    sister spinning on the platform until she went
    into a trance. Their music is pretty raucus,
    heavy on the beat, and fast.

    In other words, it is a very emotional doctrine,
    one that probably makes them feel good like
    going to the disco and dancing like crazy to
    loud bomping music used to make people feel
    good. It is hard to tell someone who is used to
    so much emotionalism that it is not our God
    who is in control of that but it is something
    worked up. It will, indeed, take our God to get
    them out of it.
     
  11. Don

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    Susan, normal human animal reaction: "fight or flee." In situations where we innately know we're not supposed to be, we look for a way out. Feeling trapped is not a good feeling.

    Pray a lot this week, but show your Godly example by submitting to your husband and going. If they challenge you, don't rise to the challenge. If they're hateful, smile and tell them God loves them. If they're kind, be kind back. As someone mentioned above, you're not there to debate theology; you're there to celebrate your husband.

    And we'll all pray for you in the meantime.
     
  12. Aaron

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    The short answer is you should go with your husband.

    What is the history of your situation? Were you a baptist and he a oneness before you were married? If so this is just the consequences of a violation of the Scriptural injuction against becoming unequally yoked.

    Did you become saved after your marriage? If so, you should still honor your husband and submit to him in all things,
    Either way, when you're unequally yoked you can't plow a straight line no matter how hard you try. :(
     
  13. FearNot

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    well, you and your husband are in the situation you are in, and you both know have to deal with it the best you can now. If I were you, I would think the best thing you could do is ask your husband to make sure people don't harrass you. Tell him that it has been a problem in the past and if he wants you to attend SPECIAL functions in the future he will have to stand up for you and your belief system whether they like it or not because you are his wife and no one has the right to belittle you over it. Discussions are fine, arguements are not. try that.
     
  14. susanpet

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    I guess then all my rows are gonna stay crooked because I won't denounce my belief for no one.
    Like I have said before, he wasn't going to church when we married and I hadn't been in a long time. I didn't know the difference between all these doctrines going on out there. It was AFTER we married that he decided to go to church and he chose the one he is attending now.
    I CANNOT submit to something I don't believe in.

    Susan
     
  15. Zebedee

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    Go, and have a good time. It takes two to argue, so determine not to.
     
  16. Alex

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    I would talk to your husband about how you feel AND how you are treated there. As your husband, he should defend you as to NOT being in their realm of religion and are very satisified where you attend. If you get caught as a one on one, change the subject or, change the topic by asking a question. Maybe they will get the hint. Try to stay close to your husband IF he agrees to help you but don't let this become an arguement with him. Hopefully, if he is a good husband, he will help you. Good luck and have fun. As you said, it's a party, not a preaching convention. Oneness can become very "abrasive"!!!

    God Bless............Alex
     
  17. susanpet

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    Suppose you all were in my shoes and they started saying things like you can't get to heaven without speaking in tongues and you were not baptized the right way. Suppose they made remarks insinuating that your departed baptist loved ones didn't make it. Suppose they tell you that you need the scales removed from your eyes. Suppose they say you cannot possibly know who Jesus is because you believe in the trinity. Suppose you are told that you will be the first in line to take the mark of the beast because you believe in the rapture. Suppose you were told you were fooled and that the church you attend is a harlot church.
    See why I am nervous about going

    :eek: Susan
     
  18. susanpet

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    When all is said and done, I guess the main reason I am afraid to go is because of the very uneasy feeling I get around them. Like I'm getting ready to be "cooked alive" by a bunch of cannibals :eek:

    I've been around a lot of different people in my 44 yrs., but something about these people scare the heck outta me! :(

    Susan
     
  19. Aaron

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    Oh, it's you! ;) I almost forgot about the "re-baptized" thread.

    You already know my thoughts. Wouldn't have posted had I remembered.

    Yes, they absolutely will. That's just the way it is.
    As to the event in question:
    I've been around Pentecostals all my life. My parents are both Pentecostal, for a brief time my father was an RLDS proselyte. They're harmless. If you are secure in your belief all they say should not matter one whit. It may grate on your nerves a little, but thank God for the opportunity to develop the discipline of longsuffering. ;)
     
  20. ChristianCynic

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    You are probably not like I am, but I sometimes rather enjoy a good chance to blast a bunch of freaks in their own little fort. You seem to know some of their beliefs, and perhaps even more their attacks. Be ready to quote the verses which disprove their little gradations with the gospel. But be sure you are putting the authority where it matters, and use rhetoric... ex.: "Was Jesus lying when He said whoever believes in Him is not condemned? {John 3:18}"; "Was Paul lying when he said that one who believes and confesses is saved? {Romans 10:9}. If they give you a runaround, ask the same question again. You can't expect to change people from their pet issues-- method and purpose of baptism, 'KJVO,' style of music, and the rest of them-- but you can push as hard as they can, if you will.
     

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