When does a person leave the Youth Group?

Discussion in '2006 Archive' started by Maverick, Dec 11, 2005.

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When does a person leave the Youth Group?

  1. When they turn 18?

    72.7%
  2. When they graduate HS?

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  3. When they have a child?

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  4. When they get married?

    27.3%
  5. Any of the above?

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  6. When they turn 20?

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  1. Maverick

    Maverick
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    When is a person an adult? The law says that a person is an adult when they turn 18 yet most Youth Groups keep kids until they are 20? Yet, does not that pose a problem. If 18 is an adult and that 18 year old goes on a trip with the group what happens if they get "involved" with some 14-17? My Dad was 4 years older than my Mom so an 18yr old could possibly "like" a 14 yr old and want to date them. Even at 17, a parent could pitch a fit and file charges depending on the State. I think the age of consent in MS is 15 so that would not be a problemn there unless the adult thing overrides that. Anyway, should an "adult" remain in the Youth Group? Would you even use them as helpers since they are too close to that age group and things might develop?
     
  2. Dr. Bob

    Dr. Bob
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    I would have a teen who completes HS (or his class graduates if he dropped out) should move on into a "leader-in-training" status.

    Have them serve and learn for a couple years, then, at age 21 (traditional age of majority) into full leadership position.

    I would NEVER let them "leave" totally; they are young, connected to the youth group, and can be effective servants in the ministry. Often after having a child, they will slowly move 'up' in the church to adult ministries/fellowships.

    Then, when THEY have teens, THEY will be back as some of your top-notch mature leadership!
     
  3. Hope of Glory

    Hope of Glory
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    Also, our "youth" group is still involved in indepth studies, so they are appropriate for adults. The trips they take, they do so in conjunction with other churches, attending camp with other kids of the same sex and a similar age.

    There are certain things that are "age appropriate", but as far as youth groups at church, I don't think there's a cutoff limit per se.
     
  4. bapmom

    bapmom
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    and what is this about an "age of consent"? Who in your youth groups is acting in this sort of fashion during youth group functions????!!!!!

    No matter what age they are, the adult should be putting the "kabosh" on that sort of thing during outings!!
     
  5. Brother Ian

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    When they graduate from high school or get married, they leave the youth group. We have a college and career group as well to transition them out.

    Before that group was started, a lot of former youth would hang on in the youth group because they didn't want to go to the adult Bible study. Unfortunately, this college and career group still participates in many youth events that I don't personally think are appropriate.
     
  6. Hope of Glory

    Hope of Glory
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    One thing I've discovered with our youth group is that they complain that things are too easy and they want more indepth study.

    Our adults say that things are too hard and they want things watered down. (I actually taught a youth lesson to the adults once, and an adult lesson to the youth, and the vocal ones in both groups were happy.)

    I actually had a man tell me recently that people don't want to learn, they just want to be told what to think and then go home. (He was not observing the behavior of others, he was talking about himself.)

    I will not water down the gospel for those who don't want to study. I have slowed down when we got new people, then caught them up to speed and carried on.

    However, dividing youth by age is completely artificial. I can see benefits in it, but holding it as a requirement is something man-made.

    I've had more youth simply claim that they want to be taught and not entertained than I have adults.
     
  7. SaggyWoman

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    It depends.
     
  8. Maverick

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    Currently we only have one adult class and I would like to keep it that way. I teach the Adult class and there are many reasons for having it stay that way, but if we get a teacher for a college-career class once our new building is built they will have one though the one they had was not supported by the people of that age group. They said they wanted one and it lasted a couple of months and then died for lack of attendence.

    I have a mixed classroom. Some don't want me to stay very long on any one book or subject and others want all I can give them. We talk about anything that needs to be discussed. I teach in a way that anyone from 18-80 can understand me if they can hear me. In fact, I do have one 20 year old in the class and will soon have another.

    The age group thing was designed by a Communist educator to cause a generation gap and reliance on peers and it worked so well Christians adopted it and now our young don't want to hang out with old people though the older are supposed to teach the younger but that can't happen because we have separated everyone and given them classifications like flora and fauna. The only difference in that attitude between saved and lost youth is that at least for now the Christian kids aren't for euthansia. We have fostered Rehoboamism and we wonder why we have so few kids staying in the church unless we turn it into a Christian nightclub that meets on Sunday morning.

    My son visited a church that had several classes and it was more like a segreation thing. One 40 year old overweight man, one divorced lady in her thirties and one other person that will most likely be in that class until death. They may as well have hung "The Losers" over the door. There was no reason why these folks can't learn the Bible in the same class with everyone else. Ephesians is Ephesians if you are 18 or 80.

    Avoiding the multi-class concept also prevents problems when homosexuals want to be in the young married class or transsexuals that want to be in the class opposite of their birth gender. Having only one class avoids law suits and such.

    Other than that having the 18 year olds leave the youth group also prevents other issues. My Mom was 4 years younger than my Dad. So that means she was 14 when he was 18 or 17 when he was 21. Either way would have been legal for them to have a dating relationship until he turned 21. After that there could have been legal issues.

    Now, it is 18 and it is not odd for an 18 year old to care about anyone from 16-18. However, since the 18 year old is an adult having them in the group could lead to some legal problems. Taking them on a mission trip or outing where an 18 and 16 year old are "missing" for even a few minutes could cause a law suit and maybe an arrest especially if the infatuation developed on the bus and the 16 yer old's parents have an issue about the boy or his age.

    If I can serve in the military, drink, vote and marry witout anyone's consent then I am an adult and I should accept all that goes with that rite of passage. If you keep them on as helpers they should sign a consent form that they will not date anyone in the Youth Group.

    They should attend the Adult Sunday school class as well.
     
  9. Johnv

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    I think that generally, when a person graduates from HS, then they should move on to a college aged program.
     
  10. Johnv

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    Is this post for real? Seems like the poster is stretching a bit to make a point that is, in and of itself, a weak argument.
     
  11. bapmom

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    and Maverick,

    its perfectly legal for an 18 year old to date a younger person. What is not legal is going beyond mere dating. It might not be wise for most people, but its legal.


    I also think having various classes available for people is a good idea. We have several adult classes, and of course people are free to choose which one they attend.

    We also have a high school class, which deals with issues that high schoolers have. And a college and career class that deals with their specific issues. BTW, since the teachers of these classes are indeed older than the students, it still fulfills that part about the "older teaching the younger". After all, even if they were all in one big class together with the adults, they'd still be being taught by just one teacher.

    And we all come together for all the other church services, too. This is not segregation. Its just meeting people's needs where they are.
     
  12. Maverick

    Maverick
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    Different states have different laws and some I have seen that unless the parents concur even dating a "minor" can be a problem. Yes, in most cases a sexual encounter is what they prosecute for sure but if they are dating the chances of that happening are strong even among Christians. I know a young lady right now that has just had a child by a preacher's son so it does happen.


    The transexual thing is not a stretch. This was actually brought up in a meeting I was at with the Christian law Assocation and such things have happened at churches for some folks are looking for a reason to sue a church out of existence. You might want to attend one of their seminars and get their literature.

    If your greeter says something unseemly to a person at the door you can be sued and your pastor go to jail. The way some of our preachers "preach" against certain things with questionable attitudes it will rub off on the congregation and get a church in big trouble needlessly.
     
  13. Hope of Glory

    Hope of Glory
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    Now, when my wife and I started dating, she was 14 and I was 19. We got married when she was 18 and I was 23. We've been married for 17 years.

    It seems as if this would be considered wrong by many people.

    I agree about the problems with the age of consent, but that concerns extramarital sex, not relationships.
     
  14. standingfirminChrist

    standingfirminChrist
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    In the fellowship I pastored for 8 years, Children were up to age 12, Youth were up to the age of 17. Then we went to Young Adult until 29, Adult 30 - 54, Senior Adults 55+
     
  15. standingfirminChrist

    standingfirminChrist
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    My grandfather was 53 when he and my grandmother married... she was 25. He was actually 2 months older than her father and 3 months older than her mother. They had a wonderful life together.

    Age does not have a thing to do with marriage. Determining factors should be Christ as center first of all, maturity of both parties, then love.
     
  16. Salty

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    Age does have something to do with marriage. I realize you gave an example of an extreme. But that is only one example. How many marriages of extrem age differences do not last? I dont have the stats, but would be interesting to see.
    Anyways, a couple needs to have as much in common to have a sucessful marriage and age can make a difference. Whether it is common friends, music tastes, activities, and ect.

    But the main objection was an adult (age 19+) in the youth group. I would not allow such a situation. Maybe there is only a five year differnce between a 19 yo and a 14 yo, but that equates to a difference of 25% older. Teens need time to mature, time to date many different (Christian) guys. There is plenty of time for marriage. If anything, we encourage teens to "couple up" way to soon, and then wonder why the divorce rate [​IMG] (including Christians) is so high.

    Salty
     
  17. dcorbett

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    marriage ages is off topic (ducking and running)

    We don't have a college age group - so our "graduated" youth go to the adult class and feel totally isolated, in my opinion. Still socially involved with other youth group members, but now exiled to hang out with the old folks.

    Not sure I would like it....
     
  18. patrick

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    I hung out with my youth group until I was 23 years old. We didn't have a college ministry and my Youth Minister saw the importance of keeping us involved.

    I have some college kids involves with my student ministry. I will not turn anyone away as long as they do what is asked of them.
     
  19. Hope of Glory

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    I have adults involved in my youth ministry (they're not ready for the tough meat yet), and I have some young children who are involved with the adults, as they are spiritually mature and ready (or even more ready) than the adults for the tough spiritual things.
     

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