My wife and I are considering leaving our church for several reason which I will list later, but my basic question is, when is it ok to leave? I keep hearing from some (especially my current pastor) that you should never leave a church unless the pastor is in gross doctrinal error on some matter and refuses to be swayed from his error. Below are some of 'my' issues: They are pretty much standard as alot of IFB churches. The first few I would not leave over in and of themselves. Its the whole of things that is causing me to consider leaving. 1. Our church's music stance is much different than my own. The church stands that CCM is bad, hymns are good. I like some CCM and have no problem being discerning in what myself and my family listen to. 2. Our church's unwritten code that all women must wear a dress or skirt to church is getting a little old. My wife believes she only does it so people won't look down on her. 3. The church is very standards oriented. ( the 'higher' they are, the more God is pleased with you, along with everyone else. 4. Attitude of anyone who is not a "fundamentalist" is a compromiser. We are bible-believing. (and the others don't believe the Bible??) 5. Very hostile towards Calvinism, and considers those who adhere to the doctrines of Grace to be deceived, foolish, fatalistic....etc... etc... Its not just that we don't agree, its his delivery when railing against it. Very crass, demeaning to good men when he decides to go on a tangent. Those are a few of things I'm dealing with. My sister believes I would better be labelled as a NEO-Fundy or conservative Evangelical and therefore that is why I am thinking of moving on. I don't want to be a thorn in my pastor's flesh and don't want to cause him any problems. Yet He constantly preaches that if you leave a good bible-believing church like 'ours', almost every time your family will go down the tubes...You should never leave over "personality" issues etc...only gross doctrinal error. Well, I don't know if my issues count as "gross doctrinal error", but I believe in my heart that things will only progress worse if I stay. I don't want to become bitter or cause any derision. Any thoughts will help. Thanks.