When people do not like you

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by Nicholas25, Jun 27, 2008.

  1. Nicholas25

    Nicholas25
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    How do you handle it when people do not like you? I am talking about people you have not done anything to. Before Christ transformed my heart I truly did not care what people thought of me, but now I probably care too much. Some strong believers have told me as long as you can lay your head down on your pillow at night and know you have done the right things, and as long as your conscience is clear before God, that's all that matters. What do you guys think? I am not talking about people I have wronged and gave a reason not to like me, I am talking about people who just do not like you.
     
  2. superwoman8977

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    This is how I go about it and you can take it for what its worth. I am who I am. Oh well if you dont like me you dont have to. I am a child of the Lord and He loves me no matter what. That has so helped me get through the last few crazy months of my life.
     
  3. Sopranette

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    I seem to remember someone, maybe you, posting on this before. I'm sorry that the situation has not improved since then if it is true. Are you being judgemental of the people around you, now that you are newly saved and they are not? That might be the problem. Either way, remember that you are loved by God no matter what, and try being this loving towards the ones around you, as well. Remember, "Love your neighbor as yourself". To me, that means, although everyone has shortcomings, you do too, and have been unsaved at one time yourself. I've seen it before. Newly saved people tend to get a little over zealous in their new found faith, and the people around them get tired of hearing it over and over again. Their perception of this new person is that he thinks himself somewhat better than them, even if that is not your intention at all. But do enjoy that new fire, because it is a fresh one and strong.

    love,

    Sopranette
     
  4. menageriekeeper

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    Nicolas, not everybody is going to like. you You aren't going to like everybody. So what?

    It is how you respond to those people who dislike you or whom you dislike that counts. If you are treating them with Christ-like grace, then you have nothing to worry about.
     
  5. donnA

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    This is true.
     
  6. jdlongmire

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    Matthew 5:10
    "Blessed are those who have been persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

    This is the only criteria by which you should measure yourself.
     
  7. RalphIII

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    Well I have been blessed in this never being a personal issue but it has been an issue with board participation.

    I always tried befriending people and if anyone seemed to have an issue would try to reconcile it. However, this has been near impossible at times when participating on internet boards as some people choose to be dogmatic.

    Many people will dislike you simply because of your beliefs or convictions. I participated in several debates with atheists and the pure hatred exhibited toward Christians was truly shocking. No matter how one would attempt to keep it civil and personable, the vitriol toward Christan's/Christianity was astonishing. It really tells you just how much trouble this country is in. However Matthew 5 is the right verse to keep in mind as noted by the previous poster.

    Keep to the Golden Rule and rest good at night. If people cannot accept you for who you are then agree to disagree or move on.

    take care:jesus:
     
    #7 RalphIII, Jun 27, 2008
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 27, 2008
  8. Nicholas25

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    I am in secular leadership positions (teacher, baseball coach), and anytime one is in a leadership position, they will have to deal with non-believers, and the heart of the unsaved produces people with blind minds, and many of these people do not care if you profess Christ. They do not care anything about Christianity, and they do not care about reconciliation.
     
  9. Magnetic Poles

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    In Tennessee, good old bible belt USA?
     
  10. Thinkingstuff

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    I lived in Tennessee for 5 years and I came away with two feelings: Disgust with the bible belt and abhorance for Pentecostals.
     
  11. LadyEagle

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    bolding mine - maybe they are jealous of you. It's a thought. Sometimes if you are exceptionally talented or good looking, people will be jealous. Try not to fret about it, in the big picture, whether or not someone likes you doesn't matter, as long as you are trying to walk with the Lord and please Him. :) "No weapon formed against you will prosper." Isaiah 54:17

    LadyEagle

    PS: Now you didn't say this or imply this, but if you are single and there is a particular person who happens to be a young lady, that is an entirely different matter all together. ;)
     
    #11 LadyEagle, Jun 27, 2008
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 27, 2008
  12. Jon-Marc

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    Personally I can't understand it when someone doesn't like me, because I'm a very lovable person. :D One man in the resort where I live has always been very unfriendly toward. I couldn't understand it and wondered why he took an instant dislike to me, and then I was told that he doesn't like anyone. He's had a lot of complaints on the way he talks to people. The thing is that he works here and acts as though he owns the place. Apparently, they're satisfied enough with his work to overlook his rotten attitude.

    Well, that was a relief to find out it wasn't something about me he didn't like. I'm far from perfect, but why would any sane person dislike me? :laugh: I try to treat everyone kindly, but some people make that very difficult.
     
  13. Salamander

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    Just come to the realization they are judgemental for whatever thing they have come to not like you.

    Remember how society works? If you don't "fit" them they snub you.

    It may be that you are simply dealing with shy or stand-offish types which have a huge wall that must be approached before they open up to you.

    It could be you're better looking than most of them and they're jealous, just like they're jealous of my good looks!:laugh:

    Remember not to be the master of many things, people get jealous when you're good at more things than them.

    Just be yourself and the person God would have you to be! Then if they still don't like you, it just may be they have problems with the God they see in you. If that's the case then TOUGH!:godisgood:
     
  14. Salamander

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    I don't like you.......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................






















    But I do love you in the Lord!:godisgood:
     
  15. gb93433

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    Those things are just as true in the church too. Hard hearts are inside and outside of the church. When the war gets tough the religious politicians hide and those committed to Christ shine. The world looks at those who name the name of Christ and decides who is real and who is not.
     
  16. SaggyWoman

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    You could look at it a different way. Look at it as a blessing when people do like you!!

    :eek:
     
  17. righteousdude2

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    I Would Say, It Is Their Loss!

    In life, there will be a countless number of people who will "absolutely, positively" not like you. For years, these folks were the ones that I went after aggressively in an attempt to "win them over" to my side. The truth is, I failed in my attempts, and have since learned an important lesson.

    There are always going to be people in your neighborhood, where you work, at school, in church [of all places, which should not be, but is], in your immediate family, in your not so immediate family, and where ever the winds of time take us. There is little that people can do to get someone who dislikes you to turn around and "like" you!

    So, time has taught me that you must move on, "shake the dust from your sandals" and forget these folks, who for whatever reason, decided that you have "social cooties" and carry the mark of the beast on your forehead for the whole world to see.

    I've learned that life is way to short to spend it trying to make everyone like me. My being liked is not an end all for everything that should matter to me. I have one person on this earth who loves me more than life itself, and that person is Jesus himself. Sure, at one time He couldn't look upon me as a friend [only because of my sin against Him and His Father] as long as I remained unrepentant.
    Once I came to Jesus, He became my friend, and regardless of who likes or dislikes me, Jesus is the person whom I life to please, and I know His love and friendship will never end.

    But, what about my fellow humans? What about those ugly little, mean spirited people who for whatever reason, dislike and hate us? The truth is, I've grown and no longer care what they think. I have a large circle of friends and colleagues, and there are more than enough of these folks that make me feel great within. Plus, it means less Christmas and birthday gifts each year. Now, if someone wants to dislike me, and try to assassinate my character before the world, well, that is their problem, and if they're calling themselves "born-again-believers" their attitude in this life will be something that I am convinced they will be judged for when they stand before God on the Day of Judgment.

    If you have Christ in your heart, and if you like yourself, you have a quorum, and that should be enough to carry you through this life on earth.

    Just never forget this Nicholas25, you don't have to do something to another person to gain their life-long "ire." So, here's some advice from a person that's been there: If you don't like me, than you are the real loser, because those who have me as their friend, has a true friend. The kind of friend who would fight for them with all I have, and I'd always have your spiritual back, surrounding your every need with prayer. That is what a friend is for, and to have a circle of friends who genuinely love you as a brother in Christ, is a valuable thing to have and hold. :1_grouphug:

    Shalom,

    Pastor Paul :type:
     
  18. pinoybaptist

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    If people don't like me, as long as I like them, that's all that counts.
    Like a friend of mine would say: it don't mean nuthin'.

    They lose, I win.
     
  19. mcdirector

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    Nicholas25, I am a teacher - I have poured my heart into what I do - and please hear me say the following is all with God's help - but I have done the best I can to treat each child fairly, to prepare each lesson thoroughly, to test on material that has been taught, to be compassionate as Christ was compassionate, to have the highest of academic standards knowing these students represent Christ, to question students on their mistakes to help guide them instead of telling them where they went wrong and fixing their mistakes for them. AND yet I get phone calls telling me how ignorant and stupid I am, how out of touch I am, how I ridicule and embarrass students - these are rare, but they do happen. I know I am the brunt of the occasional parking lot gossip session. This happened just this year when I would not recommend students across the board to take TWO honors math classes next year - not the traditional one - but two.

    How do I deal with it? I ask God to show me any fault of mine so that I can make it right and then I lay my head on the pillow at night knowing that I have glorified Him during the day - that I served Him and did what was right before Him. Because I am NOT going to make man happy. And even if I gave every one an A whether they deserved it or not OR recommended everyone one for whatever class they wanted to take whether they were qualified or not, then someone else would be unhappy with me, and I would not have done my job to the standards He hold me to.

    And it is easier said than done - especially when you have to go to church with these folks who are talking about you or who are ugly to you in one setting and put on a different face in another setting, BUT God will give you the grace to be gracious.
     
  20. Circuitrider

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    As a pastor of over 30 years I found some people who for whatever reason did not like me. My first course of action was to access my contact with that person and see if there was any cause on my part for their actions. If so, I determined to personally go to that person and make things right. However, sometimes there was just no real reason for the dislike. At that point I moved that person to a key place on my prayer list so that I could keep my attitude right in making them a priority. Also when I met them I treated them as if nothing was wrong or between us. While that did not always solve the problem at least it allowed me to keep a right heart and some time things worked out over time.

    As several on this post have said, you cannot exect everyone to like you and you cannot go around trying to please everybody, or as the saying goes you will please no one at all.:thumbs:
     

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