Who wears the pants in YOUR family?

Discussion in '2000-02 Archive' started by For His Name, Sep 10, 2001.

  1. For His Name

    For His Name
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    A special, brought to you by...(insert drum roll here.....) For His Name and da Gina :D
    Ok guys and gals, we have a question for you all. Our goal is eventually to lead this into a discussion on submission, also occasionally touching on the issues of what may constitute abuse of a husband/wife in a marriage. But first can we start with some lighter banter on what parts of the Bible we think deal with the issue? Concerns, comments?
    For His Name and da Gina ;)
     
  2. Joseph_Botwinick

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    I wear the pants in my family.

    Joseph
     
  3. Lorelei

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    We all wear pants in our family, even my son, but my husband is still the head of the house ;)

    ~Lorelei
     
  4. SaggyWoman

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    Jesus wears the pants in my family . .
     
  5. Brother Adam

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    My mom is wearing jeans right now...does that count?

    Until Next Post, Adam
     
  6. KeeperOfMyHome

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    Good one Saggy! [​IMG]
     
  7. Rev. Joshua

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    Everyone wears pants in our family.

    According to the cats, they are the head of our family. Which one is the head depends on who you ask. One of our German Shepherds is fairly sure that she is in charge, unless pizza is involved in which case she's willing to pretend that we are in charge.

    Telling my wife she should graciously submit to me is always good for a laugh.

    Rev. Joshua
     
  8. Gina B

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    Ok, so far we've got a whole family, one man, J-sus, mom, cats, a German shepherd who wants to........now here's where it gets deeper.
    Where's your scriptural proof to back this up? :D
    For His Name and da Gina
     
  9. DocCas

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    Several decades ago my wife and I stood before a Baptist pastor and took our wedding vows. I promised to love, honor and cherish her. She promised to love, honor, and obey me. Neither of us has ever regreted taking those vows. Neither have we broken them. In all of our years of marriage, raising two kids, being in the ministry for 27 years, we have never had a fight. We love each other too much, and we could never find a topic more important than our love.
     
  10. myreflection26

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    Well.. mmmm we both fit our legs into the same pair of pants in our house. He ususally doesn't make choices without my word on it so we basically do things together with what happens in our home. When he does something I disagree with I ususally let him know how I feel and then pray for him for God to change the situation or my husband.

    Sue
     
  11. For His Name

    For His Name
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    Your union was blessed. In this day and age it is uncommon to see a couple such as you two. What is your secret to a happy, loving ... successful marriage?
     
  12. Helen

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    Highest human priority in our family -- our profoundly retarded son (simply because we can't leave him alone and life has to be governed around that and his autism).

    Last say in decisions -- my husband

    Reference for all problems -- the Lord

    Translator to kids and uphold decisions -- me.

    Feedback -- kids

    After all, it's a FAMILY!

    Actually, we are blessed enough to have a husband/father who is extraordinarily sensitive to all of us and who has a very constant prayer life. For the most part, things run incredibly smoothly that way.

    A major hurdle is that he must be away for long periods of time, tending to a very ill family member (there are just the two of them left on his side of the family), and thus, until the Lord resolves this problem, he must leave me in charge a lot. But telephone contact is constant, and so are our prayers together over the phone, so even though it's a little harder around here for that situation at times, the guidelines are still clear and things operate well.
     
  13. John Wells

    John Wells
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    There is no doubt that I wear the pants in our family. Isn't that right honey? :D
     
  14. Nicole

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    Ouch...this is an area I struggle in constantly...I can give you the right answer...the biblical one...I just have to admit that I'm ashamed that I don't always respond to it in my own life/marriage. But, here again, God is good and he is doing a great work in me in this area. I come from a background where my mom was the very dominant figure. Naturally I followed in her footsteps (not saying that is any excuse), God led me to marry a man who for all sense and purposes is NOT a natural born leader. I took advantage of that for a long time and even used it as an excuse for my own failing in this area. But, I had to come to terms with the fact that one day we will all sit before God and have to answer for ourselves so I can not use him for an excuse. I've learned during some VERY convicting bible studies that when a woman finds herself in a relationship such as mine where the man isn't a leader....well, we are to be a suitable helper. We should exahlt our husbands and lift them UP to a position of leadership. Hold them accountable for it. You may be surprised what kind of leader he can be once he's given the encouragment and the chance. I guess the problem I used to have with submission was that it automatically coincided with "weak" to me. I thought it meant that we were supposed to be thought of as less important and such. Hee-hee....guess what happened then...I learned I had not only a problem with submission...but...a problem with PRIDE! Boy, what a tangled web we weave! Afterall, shouldn't we exahlt others above us and think of others before ourselves...hmmmm. I did a study called the Excellant Wife, and that has been changing/transforming my relationship like I never would have dreamed possible. While I did this, my husband worked on one called "The Complete Husband" Men...it is a MUST read! I am a woman and even I really enjoyed it! Anyhow, that's my thoughts on submission...I think it's biblical (unless husband is asking wife to sin) and I think it is something we see less and less of in this world that desenthesizes us to putting others first and instead screams out...LOOK OUT FOR YOURSELF....Make yourself happy!

    :D
     
  15. Bible Believing Bill

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    Ultimately I make the decisions in our family. However I do not do so without consulting my wife, if it effects me it effects her and she should have her say. Together we put up an united front to the kids so that they can't try to play one of us agains the other.
     
  16. Cyndib

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    Hello,

    Ok my husband definately wears the pants and I would have it no other way. The Bible clearly states that the man is to be the leader of the home.

    As we marry our mates we take a vow to love, honor and obey. We are follow the leading of the man and he is responsible for the leader he is in the home. The only reason a woman is not to follow her mate in submission is if it is contrary to the Word of God.

    I have been married 15 years and every year gets better and better and if we can not submit to the authority of our husbands and to the authority of the leadership of the church how then can we submit to the authority of God???

    Just wanted to put that question out.

    My husband wears the pants and we have been in leadership in the church together as a couple we minister but he is really the leader and I am his "help-meet" and we love serving the Lord and serving one another in our marriage.

    Cyndi
     
  17. Rev. Joshua

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    The packet that I give couples who ask me to do their wedding says very clearly that I will not officiate if they want different vows for one or the other. If they want "obey" in there, they better have it going in both directions.

    So far, I've never had a couple mention it except in jest.

    How many of you included the "obey" in your vows (and what year were you married)?

    Joshua
     
  18. livin'intheword

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    I was married to Matt on August 9, 1997. My vows where to Love, Honor and Obey him. Obey meaning of course that he doesn't boss me around like a child, he loves me too much to treat me like that. Obey, meaning do his wishes. Just the way that the church loves Christ and obeys him.

    Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

    Ephesians 5:24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

    Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

    Colossians 3:18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.

    Colossians 3:19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.

    1 Peter 3:1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
    And dat's about all I have to say about dat. :D
    -Paula
     
  19. Nicole

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    People get such a negative idea what the bible means about submission where if the truth be known....it is and can be a wonderful thing. Boy...it sure does take a lot of pressure off of us women! I think though, what happens is you get some egomaniacs out there who abuse this sense of "power" and take it way out of context. The bible not only tells wives to submit to their husbands, but as was noted in the above post, it goes on to say likewise ye husbands, honor thy wife. It refers to the way a husband should be toward his wife like Christ was to the church and gave himself for it. That is talking about a tremendous amount of LOVE and LOYALTY! God gave his SON for us...he made the ULTIMATE sacrifice. I think if the husbands who used this submission subject to edify themselves were truly being led of the spirit....there would be no issue. It's much easier and desirable to submit to someone who's loving, kind and respectful then some dogmatic force to be reckoned with! Just a thought. [​IMG]
     
  20. preacher

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    Joshua,
    How is your view Biblical when it clearly teaches that the Wife is to obey, not the husband? I'm the Head of the family, just as Christ is the Head of the Church.He does'nt
    "obey" His Bride, the Bride obeys him.
    I know we are "one flesh", & even one mind,
    but on ANY questions, I am to be the final authority as long as I'm following scripture.
    I've made it clear to Agee that if I say something's to be done & it goes against the Word, then she not only has the right, but the DUTY to question me on it. But thats not me obeying my wife, just having my eyes opened to obey my Lord.
     

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