Why is it those who are divorced or have made mistakes in their lives.....

I know about adulterous spouses from personal experience, but what I was talking about is condemning someone SIMPLY because of being divorced--even when that person did nothing wrong. Believe it or not, sometimes only one is to blame for a marriage failing. It takes two to make a marriage successful. One can't do it alone when the other doesn't care.

She cheated on me; I certainly never did that. My second wife constantly criticized me; I didn't do that to her--other than mentioning her loud snoring one time. Men are treated as outcasts if they're divorced. However, women are generally treated as victims even if they're to blame for the marriage ending.

The only thing that kept me from losing my car to my first wife when we divorced was the fact that she couldn't drive. The fact that I wouldn't be able to get to work didn't matter to them. They apparently thought I had enough money to just go out and buy another car.

In a divorce the man is always the culprit, and the woman is always the victim. She gets the children, and he gets the privilege of seeing them whenever she says he can. The organization "Friend of the Court" should be changed to "Friend of the Ex-wife."

 

Have you told the other forum the "whole" story? Or jusy parts of it?

AJ

 

The other forum may not even be a Christian one and they may not give two hoots what the Bible says. You can always find someone that agrees with you if you look hard enough.

 

None of us are bragging about sin, taking pride in it and trying to justify it at the expense of scripture, saying God has failed us, we do not intend on obeying scripture because it is outdated.
You have.
If you try to justify your own sin by trying to blame it on someone else, you have no remorse for your sin. A big difference here.

 

All superwoman really wants is for someone to tell her her sin is ok, and she isn't responsible because someone else did soemthing to her. She's either posted it on a non christian board with no biblical concerns, or she has found a liberal christian board who sees no reason to agree with God.

 

What is Dr Love forum? LOL, this would be why they had a different response, lol, they don't sound like a forum where God or scripture are cared about.

 

Interesting thread. I haven't really posted on this because this issue is complex and emotions seem to be high regarding it. Of course God doesn't want divorse or the rest of it. One thing I've noticed with Divorsed couples is that one always blames the other. There is the feeling of betrayel, anger, confussion and a multitude of other things. However, I have never once met a divorsed couple that only one party was at fault. One may have committed a greater offense but usually there are things that undlie it. Often times Some men demean their spouces and women emasculate their men. That is only the starting point. Both have their reasons for doing so but it usually grows into something bigger later. However, I've always noticed people blaming the other party and leave out things like wrong expectations, lack of actual sacrificial love or patience. There are so many issues and the bottom line for most people of divorse is a need to be understood. I think this is where superwoman is at. I come from a divorsed home and it was rough going but I made it through and have a wonderful family now though I have my faults and my wife has hers. I can only give superwoman my condolences and prayers and allow her the time to heal.

I'm not remarried btw my father and mother are divorsed. My father is actually twice divorsed. I've only been married once and for all. I've made up my mind that if my wife divorsed me. I would not remarry. It seems the scriptural thing to do.

 

Yep adultery is wrong. Unfortumately, it is also common. The thing about sin is that it doesn't occur on an Island. It affects everyone around us. I feel sorry for her child. I'll pray for him and may God grant him mercy and a better life than the one he was given by his parents. I don't know what superwoman has gone through though I do know another woman who did the same thing but at least she has accepted it was sin and knows full well the rebellion of it. Fortunately, Jesus is always there to forgive and give strength for better decision making process. But I think there must be sincere repentance which means 180 turn form the sinful lifestyle.

 

Oh I see. I did mis something, thanks for clearing that up for me, had me confused and worried.

 

Well I admit I do have my biases against divorced women and men too. I really think it's a shame couples can't stay married together for the rest of their lives anymore. I strongly believe that when a couple wants to marry they both should have the full intent of being married to that person for the rest of their lives, if they don't feel that way about each other then they have no business getting married. However in some circumstances divorce is unavoidable, especially today. This unfortunately was the case of my girlfriend who has been divorced twice.

So do I generally think of someone who has been divorced as less moral then someone who hasn't? Yeah I do. Especially those who have been married 5+ times. However saying that I do make exceptions for some people including my girlfriend. Some women just get used by men who have no intent on staying married to the women they marry. Her mom once told her that men would just consider her a novelty and never really be interested in her once the novelty wore off; her mom was right.

 

I'm a divorcee. I don't think I've ever been treated 2nd class in any of the churches I've been a member of since the divorce. Well, I've also been remarried, so that may have something to do with it.
Also, much of the circumstances surrounding my divorce was my own fault. However, I no longer call those issues a "mistake" I made. It wasn't a mistake. It was SIN. I think I needed to come to this point in order to be able to deal with my divorce. For too long, I called it all a "mistake". When the Lord led me to a conviction that my sin wasn't just a mistake, my growth in the Lord took off. Today, in our "self-esteem" culture, no one thinks anyone should feel guilt or extreme sorrow for their sin. So, sin has been re-named "a mistake". For me, when I was able to see my sin for what it was, I was then able to see my Savior for who He was.

 

this ladies and gentlemen is what true repentance looks like, thank you very much jcjordan for demonstrating that to us.
As long as a person still calls their sin a mistake, true repentance has not taken place, it not only lessens it to only a mistake, it takes away from the seriousness of sin.

 

Then why do you keep ranting about the divorce, and calling him "Mr. Idiot"?

And why do you keep making excuses for your adultery and even refuse to admit that you slept with another man, and got pregnant while you were married to "Mr Idiot"?

That doesnt sound repentant to me.

AJ

 

Personally, I resent being called "less moral" simply because I divorced an adulterous woman who said that she wouldn't stop cheating on me. Should I have stayed married to her and just looked the other way as she had other men? As soon as I moved out, another man moved in.

What about my second wife who decided that I wasn't good enough for her since she was perfect and I wasn't, and so she divorced me? Should I have somehow tried to force her to stay married to me and continued to suffer her constant criticism of me?

Having been a Christian for 45 years, I've noticed that Christians tend to forget that they were once lost in sin, and that even now none of us are perfect. If we ever start thinking that we have the right to throw stones at others, we need to remember that we are saved by the grace of God and not by our own goodness. No, we shouldn't accept sin as being OK, but we don't have the right to condemn others either. Only God can do that.

I sincerely hope that the pious, self-righteous people who think they're better than us "immoral" divorced people never end up divorced. I bet they would then change their tune and decide that divorced people aren't so immoral after all since they would be one.