why is this place so hostile?

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by corndogggy, Jan 16, 2007.

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  1. corndogggy

    corndogggy
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    I'm online constantly due to being a web developer, and I am involved in absolutely all kinds of forums and mailing lists which covers a broad range of subjects... sports, cycling, ATV's, hunting, technical computer issues, etc. I talk with alot of people who aren't exactly afraid to speak their mind. Yet, do you want to know where I see the most aggravated and hostile remarks due to aggressive arguing that apparently turns personal? Right here, on a Christian forum. I even witness flagrant racism yesterday, not just from one single out-of-context renegade post either. I NEVER see that at any other online forum, even with my hunting buddies who include the biggest rednecks that you can imagine and play the part well. Why is it that I can go to a Christian forum and see much more of this stuff than I would see at places where you wouldn't be surprised to see it? Just something to think about. :thumbsup:
     
    #1 corndogggy, Jan 16, 2007
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 16, 2007
  2. Helen

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    I think a lot of people, including many who go to church, mistake debating with warring.

    The sad thing is, Baptists (just like many others) are known for their infighting. It sometimes makes me wonder how many Baptists are actually followers of Christ. "Love your neighbor as yourself" evidently does not translate into "Love your fellow believer as you love yourself"....

    This was posted in the humor section, but the message behind it is tragically true:http://www.baptistboard.com/showthread.php?t=36725

    In the long run, corndogggy, real Christianity -- actually following and worshiping Christ as a born again person -- is not a common thing. The fury of Christ at the Pharisees in Matthew 23 is, I doubt sincerely, limited to Pharisees. There are many, many church leaders who may be excellent organizers, teachers, ministers, all kinds of talents -- but they are not followers of Christ. Thus the members of those churches are not getting what they need.

    And some of it will show up on Christian forums. People are more than willing to fight for what they believe to be right, but less willing to BECOME what is right.

    God bless you. I'm glad SOMEONE understands computers!
     
  3. J. Jump

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    I think there are a variety of different answers to your question, but it seems that your post was more rhetorical than anything, so I will just give you a couple :thumbs: :thumbs: in agreement!
     
  4. Scarlett O.

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    Corndogggy, ever heard the old saying, "We can talk about anything in a civil manner except for religion and politics."

    Well, it's true.

    And there are two problems that are causing people on this board to gripe and whine and then have the audacity to pout when others gripe and whine. I include myself in this category and anyone who claims not to fall in this category only deluding themselves.

    I know that there are those who will not see themselves as gripers, whiners, and pouters. Unfortunately, there are the ones who cry out the loudest.

    As I said, there are two problems. And as I said, every one of here on the BB, and I include myself, fall into these categories at some level.....and to deny it is a big part of the problem.

    (1.) Spiritual Hardheadedness - Once a christian has become a dyed-in-the-wool believer, he or she has to believe in a certain manner. We usually become indoctrinated to believe certain things about the bible and about God and about the world in general very early in life and when it is drummed into your head over and over and over for decades......well, you come to believe it. Part of this indoctrination may or may not be valid. But once we have heard certain things about the bible and have swallowed it over and over for literal years, we come to believe it.
    • That's why there are people who believe women can't wear pants, work outside the home, or take part in the church. And you will NOT change their minds. And there are people who believe that women have the same worth and value as a man and you are NOT going to change their minds.
    • That's why there are people who believe that those who don't vote for the same presidential candidate or support the same political agenda as they do are not the same worth of christian that they are and they end up calling each names such as "liberal" and "conservative" as if those words constituted evil things.
    • Indoctrination is why the C/A debate and the KJVO/MV debate will burn as hot as hell on the BB until the BB is shut down. True, both sides will claim that they participate in the endless, droning, debate only to "sharpen their debate skills" or to fine tune just what they believe, but after 6 years of this infernal screaming match, if you haven't sharpened your skills by now and if you still aren't sure what you believe, then you need to stop.
    • That's why issues such as alcohol, music in the worship service, the value of a women to God, MLK day, and many other issues here on the BB cause the most hateful of discussions.
    And both sides mock each other. And both sides deny it. I include myself in that accusation.

    Indoctrination happens everyday in our churches. And it's not always an indoctrination of the truth. Both far-right and far-left indoctrinations are getting in the way of the actual truth. You can find it all over this board.

    But then again.....I was indoctrinated to be a moderate. I suppose that's why I just said that. :laugh:

    So you see, we are all a part of the problem.

    (2.) Spiritual Immaturity - This can come from a person only being saved for a short period of time and not knowing the principles of the bible very well or it can come from a person who has been saved for a long time, but does not know the principles of the bible very well because he or she does not read their bible nor practice those principles.

    It can also come from a christian who may not be immature, but who for whatever reason displays immature behavior in the heat of an argument or debate. I, myself, have fallen into this category.

    Spiritual immaturity can be seen all over on the BB in this manner.
    • Having to have the last word or bust a gut trying.
    • Trying to force people to claim that you are right.
    • Having to always be right.
    • Griping.
    • Whining.
    • Mocking people.
    • Mocking other people, then turning around and whining that YOU have been mocked.
    • Claiming that other people aren't saved if they don't believe to the jot and tittle the same thing that you believe.
    • Participating in an ugly "debate" ad nausem, knowing that there is no end and no resolution just to make your same point over and over and over and over......
    I love the BB. I appreciate all of it's opportunities.

    I am not happy when I see myself and others participate with spiritual hardheadedness and spiritual immaturity.

    To alleviate this problem, we must first be convicted ourselves and work on ourselves. Here's a little test for BB members to take to begin that process. It's only one question.

    HOW TO TELL IF YOU ARE PARTICIPATING ON THE BB WITH SPIRITUAL HARDHEADEDNESS OR SPIRITUAL IMMATURITY.

    (1.) If you read through the above list and description of spiritual hardheadedness and spiritual immaturity and immediately laughed and said, "Yeah, I know who she's talking about. she's talking about ________, __________, _________, and __________. I hope those idiots come here and recognize themselves!!!".......well, then, .......just fill in your own name in one of those blanks. :flower: :saint:

    I've already filled in mine.
     
    #4 Scarlett O., Jan 16, 2007
    Last edited: Jan 16, 2007
  5. 2 Timothy2:1-4

    2 Timothy2:1-4
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    I could not with any integrity attribute the hostility on this board as problems that arise out of being a Christian. This board in particular is exccessive in its hostility that is not relfected in any other board I have been to.

    I do not know that the potential isnt there in other boards but the moderators jobs are different. To much ugliness gets left unaddressed here. It is a shame that adults must be so vindictive.
     
  6. Citizen

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    I can testify to that.
     
  7. Karen

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    I guess I run in different circles, because I do not think this board is nearly as hostile as a number of ones I have lurked on.

    As to why hostility, speaking very broadly, people don't post to hear, they post to be heard.
    Very few ever say that they are influenced by posts to change their minds. Yet it is easy for the same people to get irritated when their brilliant posts not only don't change minds, they seem to be ignored altogether.

    And let's admit it, corndogggy, conflict can be more interesting. The threads with lots of responses and views often are personalized and conflict-driven. People complain about those threads, but far fewer post on the "nice" threads, of which there are actually a great many.
     
  8. bapmom

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    I think most of it simply stems from the type of people who typically search the internet for forum boards. Why do most of us come here? Many of us come here to "defend/debate/argue" our side of things. We are a specific type, and we are looking for a specific experience. Those sports/hobby forums are filled with people who want to find out current news in that area or just chat with other people who share the same interests. Im not saying that good fellowship doesn't exist here on the BB, but you've gotta admit, many people come here with the express intention of convincing other people that their opinion is correct. This is not mainly a fellowhsip board.

    But OTOH, neither is it anywhere near as bad as it COULD be. It has actually helped me mature a bit to be able to handle those who come here only to see their point vindicated.....and it has taught me not to be that way myself. (or at least to try :thumbs: )
     
  9. Jon-Marc

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    I have found other "Christian" Websites far more hostile than this one. I left one because of it. However, I believe that many of the hostile people aren't Christians in the first place--just pretenders.
     
  10. pinoybaptist

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    Well, it looks like you folks haven't been here that long to have seen times worse than you have seen on this board.
    That's right, worse than you've seen already.
    Let me tell you all that there's been a whole lot of improvement here, although every now and then, mavericks would manage to trickle through, but all told, everything's under control, really.
    The moderators have been doing a good job, and some of the members, including yours truly, have been honestly looking at their posts and seeing some faults in themselves and so began to streamline the way they present their arguments.
    Remember that when debating doctrine the id more often than not gets involved and so there is a tendency to think that one is always right and the other always wrong and so often counter-reasonings are taken on a personal context and so the flesh takes over.
    Perhaps you perceive this board as hostile because you do not expect to see language and reactions such as you've seen here in a supposedly Christian board.
    But bear in mind that this is a board set up not for doctrinal yea's but precisely to discuss them, and so there are various streaks of Baptists and other denominations here, and with those streaks come, of course, different temperaments.
    This board is like a church in some sense. Saints who were formerly sinners still living in their former sinners' bodies.

    Now, take the "racist" thread you say you have seen.

    Giving the benefit of a doubt to the starter of that thread I think all he was actually saying is "why set aside a certain day for a mere mortal complete with all the trimmings of a holiday" ?

    And then some on this board take that as a racist thing, being big admirers of the man being celebrated, and begin to debate the OP along that line. The OP then defends himself, and things start to deteriorate from then on.
    I happen to agree with the OP, yet am myself oftentimes a victim of racism in subtle ways, because racism manifests itself in many forms, such as job turndowns, or a church you visit first time and you are treated like you're not even there.

    So, keep your chin up. Wade through the "hostility", and you'll see it isn't what you thought it was.
     
    #10 pinoybaptist, Jan 16, 2007
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 16, 2007
  11. NaasPreacher (C4K)

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    Sorry, but you must not get around much. I can give you links to 3-4 "Christian" boards that make this board look like a love-in.
     
  12. tinytim

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    Me too.. it is much better than it was in the wild west days...
    I was called fat, and was sent emails telling me I was going to Hell, and sending my youth group there all because I wasn't a KJVO.

    I don't think it is as bad as that now. Or maybe I just changed!
    One thing that makes BB unique is the relationships here.
    I have seen people fight like crazy on one thread, and tag team together on another one. Then when people request prayer for something, everyone comes together to support them... even the supposed enemies.

    We are a family. We fight, we cry, we fight, we laugh, did I mention we fight... but when it all comes down to it... we are still family.

    The mods are more fair here than other boards..
    One board I was reading the other night had a thread about interracial marriages... and one person said that they were against them because the blacks are supposed to be servants... Talk about racism... I still haven't seen it that bad here.
     
  13. 2 Timothy2:1-4

    2 Timothy2:1-4
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    Well I may be blissfully ignorant. I dont have the time to venture into all that many boards. I did venture into a site that was athiest and titled after their hate toward the Bible. But I expected that to be somewhat hostile.

    I have to say I have seen it worse here.
     
  14. Trotter

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    If the BB was all hugs and kisses I'd never come back. It takes iron to sharpen iron, ya know.

    The BB is actually fairly calm, outside of the Bible Versions/Translations forum and the Other Christian Denominations forum. Enter those at your own risk.
     
  15. Brother Bob

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    I haven't felt nothing but Loveeeeeeeeeee.

    My daddy used to whip me until I wet on myself and say it was because he loved me.

    :BangHead: :smilewinkgrin:
     
  16. tinytim

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    Did someone say love? [​IMG]
     
  17. J. Jump

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    While I would whole heartedly agree that there are "Christian" boards that are worse in their demeanor than this one, but that doesn't excuse poor attitudes and disrespectful posts in this one.

    We should be able to talk about our views while still respecting the other person regardless of what goes on on other boards.

    I myself have stopped posting on a great number of threads because as one poster said many people "know" they are right and are out to prove everyone else wrong. There are a great many here that are extremely unteachable and have no desire to be teachable and that comes out in their posts.

    Again just because it is worse somewhere else doesn't mean poor attitudes and disrespect should be put up with here.

    If we offend someone we should be big enough people to admit fault and learn from the account and move on instead of trying to justify it.
     
  18. Rachel

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    I think it would help if we try to have an open mind about other peoples views. (As in the non essentials) And try to be teachable like you said. I think that would help us not be so upset at times.
    If nothing else, this board has been a learning experience for me. Very interesting at times. lol
    Scarlett might have said it best in her post, as usual. She's a very wise woman.

    This board is calmer compared to the past. Progress maybe?
     
  19. NaasPreacher (C4K)

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    This isn't a forum here that I moderate so maybe I can try to explain a little. We do have strict rules here, we also have a "report post" button for posts which violate the rules POSTED HERE .

    We are dealing with adults posting in "debate" forums. There will be a different demeanour there than in the "fellowship" forums. The moderating team must allow some measure or liberty in expressing views and opinions or censorship would result in a board with no discussion.

    When it comes right down to it, the onus for proper posting comes down to the posters. While we often tend to see arguments from our own viewpoints as "balanced" when we disagree we see them as "hostile."

    There are real, imperfect sinners saved by the grace of God posting here.
    There is no excuse for ungodly posting, no one should do it. But people here, as in the real world, are imperfect.

    I have posted on many boards, but I keep coming back here because of the balance between freedom to post and limitations on improper behaviour.
     
  20. Predestined

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    It will be most interesting to see how our attitudes will differ and how our "treatment" of others will differ once we're in the presence of our Lord.......what a day that will be. :)
     
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