Why?

Discussion in 'Pastoral Ministries' started by abcgrad94, Jul 2, 2010.

  1. abcgrad94

    abcgrad94
    Expand Collapse
    Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2007
    Messages:
    5,533
    Likes Received:
    0
    Why do pastoral committees ask candidates to enclose a family photo? I understand that it's nice to see what people look like, but wouldn't that be a subtle way for satan to cause people to pick the most "photogenic" candidate? And why the need to see the whole family? I mean, are they going to choose or disqualify a candidate based on his or his wife/kid's appearance? I would think a candidate's doctrinal statement would tell a church what they really need to know.

    Are they looking for long hair, jewelry, head coverings, skin color, body piercings, etc? Friends of ours are looking, but several interested churches suddenly were no longer interested after they sent a family photo that included their adopted daughter. Thoughts?
     
  2. tank1976

    tank1976
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2007
    Messages:
    147
    Likes Received:
    0
    Depending on the situation, these churches are possibly not truly seeking God's direction. There are a lot of them like that.

    Tell them to keep following God's direction for the ministry He has entrusted to them.
     
  3. Dr. Bob

    Dr. Bob
    Expand Collapse
    Administrator
    Administrator

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2000
    Messages:
    29,402
    Likes Received:
    12
    Can learn a lot about people from their pix.

    Look at mine. MORE than you wanted to know!!

    [​IMG]
     
    #3 Dr. Bob, Jul 3, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 3, 2010
  4. StefanM

    StefanM
    Expand Collapse
    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2004
    Messages:
    6,423
    Likes Received:
    72
    I think there's more than a good chance that racism is involved.
     
  5. Tom Butler

    Tom Butler
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2005
    Messages:
    9,031
    Likes Received:
    0
    Well, I have to 'fess up. As a septuagenarian, I find myself reacting to people according to appearance. I can't imagine that I would react well to a pastoral candidate who had nose, lip and/or body piercings, a bunch of tattoos, and wore britches down to his thighs with his underwear showing.

    And it's not racism, nor is it legalism. Color is irrelevant. It's cultural prejudice. I have a hard time understanding why people go out of their way to look unattractive and unkempt.

    Ah, you say, unattractiveness is in the eye of the beholder. Yep, and if my eye beholds such unattractiveness as I've described, I doubt if such a pastoral candidate would be likely to make a positive impression on me, no matter how solid his theology. You want a job (or a church)? Try to make a good impression on the ones you want to work for.

    That said, I imagine there are churches where those guys would fit right in.
     
    #5 Tom Butler, Jul 3, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 3, 2010
  6. swaimj

    swaimj
    Expand Collapse
    <img src=/swaimj.gif>

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2000
    Messages:
    3,426
    Likes Received:
    0
    When I met my then future wife on E-Harmony, I went through several "stages" before I saw a picture of her. You didn't have to do it this way, but E-Harmony encouraged both the guy and the gal to withhold their pix until you had gotten to know each other through some q&a sessions. When I eventually saw my wife, I was thrilled. However, I also wanted to be thrilled because I was getting to know her and I was beginning to build a relationship with her. I think E-Harmony's approach might be a good suggestion for churches and perspective pastors. Talk for a while and see if you are heading the same direction before you worry about appearances.
     
  7. abcgrad94

    abcgrad94
    Expand Collapse
    Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2007
    Messages:
    5,533
    Likes Received:
    0
    I agree with you, and I think we all do have cultural preferences, but what if your cultural prejudice includes someone who is overweight, bald, short, stutters, has nervous facial ticks, etc? What if they are just dog ugly with HUGE bucked teeth and pop-bottle glasses? Or what if they are too "good looking?" Should any of these be a basis for approval/rejection as a candidate?
     
  8. SaggyWoman

    SaggyWoman
    Expand Collapse
    Administrator
    Administrator

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2000
    Messages:
    17,933
    Likes Received:
    8

    Bwa hahahahaha! Okay, Marley, I got a hat much similar... love the dregs!!
     
  9. SaggyWoman

    SaggyWoman
    Expand Collapse
    Administrator
    Administrator

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2000
    Messages:
    17,933
    Likes Received:
    8
    The sad thing is we all judge at some level by appearances, and many times, "we iz wrong."
     
  10. gb93433

    gb93433
    Expand Collapse
    Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 26, 2003
    Messages:
    15,496
    Likes Received:
    6
    Years ago when I was in college I had a blind roommate and learned a good lesson from him. There was a time when he was talking with a student who had less than a desirable appearance and I noticed that it did not affect his conversation with the young man.
     
  11. gb93433

    gb93433
    Expand Collapse
    Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 26, 2003
    Messages:
    15,496
    Likes Received:
    6
    A young man that I met with for two years has some tattoos. He was a top musician in the secular world and was not a Christian when I met him. He is the music leader in a church and teaches the people to make disciples. If people saw his tattoos they would immediately judge him.
     
  12. sag38

    sag38
    Expand Collapse
    Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2008
    Messages:
    4,394
    Likes Received:
    1
    Seems to me that if a committee is racist or has some other ulterior motive in asking for a picture of your family, sending in a picture is the least of your problems. As for me, I simply like the idea of being able to put a face with a name. Sadly, in Dr. Bob's case, a very disturbing image is now burned into my cerebral hard drive.
     
  13. abcgrad94

    abcgrad94
    Expand Collapse
    Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2007
    Messages:
    5,533
    Likes Received:
    0
    Yeah, makes me miss the bow tie pic! j/k
     
  14. Tom Bryant

    Tom Bryant
    Expand Collapse
    Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2006
    Messages:
    4,439
    Likes Received:
    0
    There are some questions that even churches are not supposed to ask, such as age, height/weight ratio, race. A picture is a simple way of getting answers to those questions.

    I also think that alot of people think they can "read" pictures to see messages that are sent about family dynamics.
     
  15. TomVols

    TomVols
    Expand Collapse
    Administrator
    Administrator

    Joined:
    Oct 30, 2000
    Messages:
    11,170
    Likes Received:
    0
    Why do they ask for pics? It's a dog and pony show, pure and simple. They want to see if you "look" like a pastor, and worse yet if the family "looks" like a pastor's family. I don't include one, and I don't include family information. Secular resumes typically don't and can't. And it's irrelevant at that point. The church isn't calling my wife and kids to a staff position.

    I know, I know...the real world doesn't work this way. But sooner or later we have to take a stand and say enough is enough.
     
  16. Tom Bryant

    Tom Bryant
    Expand Collapse
    Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2006
    Messages:
    4,439
    Likes Received:
    0
    Tom,
    I agree in principle about the church not calling my wife and kids (when they were at home), but I think a church has some obligation to ask, look and talk about our wives and, if we have any, children. They are part of the Scriptural mix when it comes to what a pastor ought to be like.

    With that said, I have always insisted that my wife will work in the church just as other people work in the church - in a ministry that she is gifted for and feels the call of God to work in. My DW doesn't play the piano and would rather work with senior adults than children, so she's not the stereotypical pastor's wife, for which I am very thankful.
     
  17. Tom Butler

    Tom Butler
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2005
    Messages:
    9,031
    Likes Received:
    0
    Of course, your point is well taken. I think I could, and should, work through any physical appearance negatives, provided the candidate has other requisite qualifications. That would involve some conversations.

    I also distinguish between stuttering and nose piercings. I understand it's a generational thing. I understand that what today's young generation thinks is cool, I will probably think is not.

    I've had bald pastors. I've had overweight pastors. I've had handsome pastors. Accepted 'em all. Pierced tongues, noses, lips and the like? Uh-uh. Nung gun do it.
     
  18. sag38

    sag38
    Expand Collapse
    Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2008
    Messages:
    4,394
    Likes Received:
    1
    Maybe I'm just naive but I don't think there's some evil conspiracy behind most requests for a picture (even for the pastor's family). By asking the right questions and evaluating the questions asked of him a prospective pastor can generally determine whether or not a committee is legitimate or not in their quest to fill an empty pulpit.
     
  19. tinytim

    tinytim
    Expand Collapse
    <img src =/tim2.jpg>

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2003
    Messages:
    11,250
    Likes Received:
    0


    AWww... go easy on Pocadots... He can't help it! :laugh:

    Personally, I have the problem of being too good looking! :tonofbricks:
     
  20. Tom Butler

    Tom Butler
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2005
    Messages:
    9,031
    Likes Received:
    0
    Yeah, I know what you mean. Sometimes it's a blessing, sometimes it's a curse, isn't it.
     

Share This Page

Loading...