Wicked struggle with pride against God.

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by LaurenP, Mar 9, 2009.

  1. LaurenP

    LaurenP
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    I am in a very horrible position, where I am getting very prideful against God, and having horrible thoughts and feelings about Him....but I am desperately trying not to. My pride is as great as Satan's. I don't know if I am under an attack of the enemy, or if Satan is trying to get me to join his forces.....but I am trying to hard to humble myself and even begging God to humble me and bash my pride to pieces and soften my heart and let me love him. But the pride and enmity always boils up. I hate it. I fear God is just hating me as much as he hates Satan right now, going to cast me into hell at any moment. I feel like I am in the position of Esau, who sought his birthright yet despised it. Here I am seeking God desperately, yet also being at enmity with him in the process. All I can do is beg him for mercy and humility. I want to love him so badly and have nothing but love and praise and worship for Him.......but my heart is of stone. And I've told many people this (on other forums even), and I'm always told to give my care to Jesus. And I try to approach him, but I always feel he's looking down on me with hatred, since I've been so prideful against him.

    Has anyone ever struggled with pride against God?

    Is it possible I am actually in the same position as Esau? It's so scary.
     
  2. Scarlett O.

    Scarlett O.
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    Join the club. Many, many Christians go through bouts where they think they know more than God or behave as if they do, acting on their own intelligence and intuition and desires refusing to follow God's lead. If anyone says they have never done this, they are a liar. And that's another problem altogether.

    Yes, you are under attack. If you are a Christian, Satan can oppress you, but he CANNOT get you to join his forces. A Christian is in the hands of Jesus Christ and cannot be plucked out.

    Sometimes, the more you try to humble yourself, the harder it gets to do that very thing. It's like trying to abstain from chocolate cake. The more you think about not eating it, the more the urge TO eat it overwhelms you. You do not need to "beg" God to let you love Him. You can pray for Him to help you love Him more and for Him to show you how to love Him more.

    That's good.

    This is EXACTLY what the devil WANTS you to feel. He takes much glee in the fact that you feel like spiritual dog poop and that you feel that God has rejected you. This was his original plan. The pride and fear are just his tools. The alienation from God is his goal. God doesn't hate you. You have latched on to the fear that the devil has dangled in front of you like a carrot and have fed on it for so long that you believe his lies.

    We have all done that - turned to something or someone else to guide and lead us and to focus on as our head.

    Can you be more specific about what is putting enmity between you and God? If not, that's OK.

    Only YOU know the truth about your heart. Have you turned you life and heart over to Jesus Christ?

    Have you made Jesus Christ the Lord and Savior and Master of your life?

    Or - are you a Christian that has allowed something to rise up between you and God?

    Again - Jesus Christ does NOT hate you. That's the devil's lie that he has hurled at you.

    I'm going to come back with some scripture passages that could lead to some peace for you.

    BRB
     
  3. Scarlett O.

    Scarlett O.
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    Here's a great commentary from gotquestions.org. These aren't my words. I think if you take it a bite at the time and meditate on this, it should help.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Question: How do I know God loves me?

    Answer: Usually when we begin to doubt God's love for us we are dwelling on our unworthiness. (Focus on God and not your problem. Read some Psalms.)


    God tells us he loves us. God loves those who are not, in fact, his children and those who are his children (Jn. 3: 16, I Jn. 4: 10). "For God so loved the world," Jesus declares, "that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life" (Jn. 3: 16). Hence, God not only loves the world (all men, even those in sin), but he so loved....

    God loves us even though we do not deserve his love. Listen to Paul, "But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us" (Rom. 5: 8). Christ "died for the ungodly," Paul further affirms (vs. 6).

    We should not question God's love for us. Dear reader, when a being so great as God sends his own Son to this world to be spat upon, mocked, and crucified in order to "commend his love toward us," we should never, not even for a moment, seriously doubt God's love for every man, regardless of the condition or plight of that man! Besides this, God said he loved us and it is impossible for God to lie (Heb. 6:18).


    Eagerly granting all the foregoing, though, we must keep ourselves in God's love in order to benefit from the gift of Jesus. You see, just because God loves all men, does not mean that all men are unconditionally saved. In fact, most shall be lost (Matt. 7: 13,14). For you and me to benefit from God's love we must "keep ourselves in the love of God, looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life" (Jude 21).

    Kind reader, we know God loves each of us because of what he has done for each of us. The question is, are you and I accepting his love?

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Peace to you :flower: :flower: ​
     

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