Wives Submit to your Husbands

Discussion in '2005 Archive' started by Jimmy C, May 9, 2005.

  1. Jimmy C

    Jimmy C
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    A topic usually guaranteed to generate some controversy! But that is not my intent today, our pastor spoke on this topic yesterday, and did as great a job as I have ever heard.

    He related to us that a man had recently come into his office complaining that his wife did not submit to him, our pastor's reply was to ask him why he was even reading the passage - it was not written to him, but to his wife. (what he actually said was "dude why are you reading that" I had never actually heard the word dude out of a pulpit before)

    Our pastors comment to the congregation was that we need to read the scriptures that are directed to US, my responsibility is to love my wife to the fullest meaning of the word love, and that I need to be very carefull about frustrating my kids. Everything else will take care of itself.

    You pastors may have preached similar messages yourselves, but the way our pastor preached this sermon really spoke to me
     
  2. Pastor_Bob

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    All Scripture is directed to us regardless if we are the husband, wife, or child. All Scripture is profitable for everyone. We are to live by "every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God."

    Having said that, I do understand what your pastor was saying, and I agree with him 100%. In essence, he said, "Make sure that you are properly fulfilling your God-given role in the home before you expect your wife and children to begin fulfulling their's."
     
  3. hamricba

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    Please read Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood by John Piper and Wayne Grudem for a better understanding of Biblical submission.

    A husband needs to remember he cannot force his wife's submission.
     
  4. Thankful

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    Our pastor spoke on this same subject yesterday, but in a very different way. He used the word respect for submit. We are to respect each other. There was a lot more to his sermon, but he did say that many people misinterpret this scripture. He did say that a man's wife is his # one advisor.
     
  5. Timtoolman

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    I agree with the pastor from the first post. Heard the same message but it was called "why are you reading someone else's mail".

    However when we study scripture it does come up and it will be discussed by both sides. It is amazing how men and women interpt it defferently. I think many women become very emotional when it comes to "submit to your husbands as unto the Lord". I can understand this. However to remain constant and right with biblical principles it is a hard saying. It is no different for men who are to love their wives and give themselves to her REGARDLESS of what the wifes role is and if she is completing her end.

    I hope that wasn't the final answer and end of that counseling session for that pastor and the husband. I hope he challenge him and her both. I would not like the answer if it was the wife saying my husband does not love me or acknowlegde me. And the pastor says why are you reading that passage anyways.

    One lady counsler in our church tells women it is okay to disobey her husband to make him a better christian. That sounds good from a humanistic stand pt. but is not biblical. No where is the principle taught to disobey to make better christian.
     
  6. UZThD

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    ===


    Hi Thankful

    But didn't Paul use the word "submit" to define the role of the wife toward her husband and not "respect" ? And didn't the apostle also use the Church's duty toward the Lord as an example of his meaning? Should the Church submit to Christ or just respect Him?
     
  7. Timtoolman

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    .....Stepping way back behind UZThD! [​IMG]

    You should look up the old threads about 2 or 3 months ago. Give you a little clue to what you are in for.
     
  8. PastorSBC1303

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    UZ, good post and thoughts.
     
  9. Thankful

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    Hi UZ,

    It is a matter of interpretation.

    My husband is the head of our household; he is the spiritual leader, and makes the final decisions, but he is not a dictator. He considers my wishes, thoughts, and opinions. It is very easy to be a submissive wife when one has a thoughtful husband.

    Definitions of submit:

    1. To yield or surrender (oneself) to the will or authority of another.

    2. To subject to a condition or process.

    3. To commit (something) to the consideration or judgment of another.

    Definitions of respect:

    1. To feel or show deferential regard for; esteem.

    2. To relate or refer to; concern.

    Definition of deference:

    Submission or courteous yielding to the opinion, wishes, or judgment of another

    Remember this was my pastor's sermon
    not mine. ;) But I do understand what he meant.

    Quoting form HCSB:

    Ephesians 5:33 To sum up, each one of you is to love his wife as himself, and the wife is to respect her husband.

    Quoting from KJV:

    Ephesians 5:33 Nevertheless, let everyone of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
     
  10. exscentric

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    All wrong, all wrong here. Where are you people coming from. Now the word submit is made up of two words. Sub which means under and mit which means fist - yes, ducking for cover :) AND IT IS A JOKE! :)
     
  11. Primitive Baptist

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    The word submit means submit. The word obey means obey. Yes, the Scriptures tell a wife to be subject to her husband in all things as the church is to Christ. Can you think of one area in which the church is not to be subject to Christ? No. Therefore, I cannot think of one area in which a wife should not submit to her husband, that is, if he is following Christ. It takes a spirit-filled woman of God to do that, just as it takes a spirit-filled man to love his wife as Christ loves His church.
     
  12. hamricba

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    Thankful-

    It is not clear what your listing of the definitions prove, except that there are significant differences between the word meanings.

    I'm also a bit confused that you seem to affirm the husband's headship and then reverb the respect aspect. 1 Peter 3:7 makes that point somewhat- husbands live in an understanding way toward your wives.
     
  13. donnA

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    This defination of respect is saying submission.
    I think thats what Thankful is saying.
     
  14. Artimaeus

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    When I was first married (33 years ago) I thought that the man was the head of the house and it was his job to see to it that everyone did what he said. God taught me better. I have since come to learn that it is my job to be the kind of man that I am supposed to be and it is my wife's job to be the woman that she is supposed to be. It is literally not my concern to "make her" or "force her" to behave in any manner. I do not "tell" her what to do about anything. I do tell her what I am going to do but she decides what she is going to do. Now, don't get me wrong, there is a lot of give and take, discussion, opinions expressed AND listened to on both sides. I am constantly impressed with the extra heaping helping of common sense she has (maybe it is just the minute speck that I have that I am comparing it to). As I submit to Christ she finds it not only not a burden to submit to me but a genuine blessing
     
  15. Timtoolman

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    Artimaeus, does that work in the reverse? If the wife submits to her husband will make him more willing to be the leader? And if lets say the man decides that since the wife doesn't submit can he then refuse to love and care for her? Or does he still have a duty according to God's word to love and care for her? Or are the roles of both to be done according to the scriptures regardless of what the other is doing?
     
  16. hamricba

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    Tim- I think our obedience should be independent of personal circumstances. That specific message is written all over 1 Peter.
     
  17. Jimmy C

    Jimmy C
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    Tim

    I think you hit on it exactly - both roles are to be done according to scripture regardless of what the other is doing.

    If a husband is showing true sacrificial love to his wife, there will be no submission issues
     
  18. Thankful

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    Thank you, Donna. I was proving that submit and respect mean the same thing.

    Perhaps I didn't make it clear enough.

    One must be very careful in defining submit and submission as it pertains to wives. The husband is not to be a dictator and the wife is not to be a doormat. ;)
     
  19. UZThD

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    ===

    IMO you did not prove that respect=submit.

    I do agree re dictatorship and doormat. ! I also agree that the husband is to love his wife more than himself and that each should respect the other.

    But (1) "Head" as in 1 Cor 11:3 and Eph 5:23 means "authority over" (see Grudem's two articles in the Journals where he exhibited this meaning with 2500 examples ) and (2) "submit" (hupotasso) clearly references obedience not merely respect.(see usages in Lk 10:17;1 Cor 14:32;1 Pet 2:18 etc).

    I am prepared to argue that lexically,contextually, and syntactically Eph 5:23 requires wives to submit to their husbands. BUT, as you rightly say, the husband who loves his wife so greatly will not be a dictator!
     
  20. UZThD

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    This defination of respect is saying submission.


    ===


    But Paul used Greek! What the Greek words mean is the issue..IMO!
     

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