Would you as a parent....

Discussion in '2005 Archive' started by menageriekeeper, Feb 24, 2005.

  1. menageriekeeper

    menageriekeeper
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    Attend the wedding of your son or daughter if you knew they were marrying a non-Christian.

    Would your answer be different if they were marrying into Judaism, Islam, Buddaism or some other large cultural/religious group? (as opposed to someone who was merely unsaved)
     
  2. dianetavegia

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    Our daughter married a non practicing Catholic and we did attend her wedding. We did NOT pay for the wedding tho. We are NOT supportive of her when she gets upset and talks about divorcing him tho.

    Actually, we both doubt our daughter's salvation because of her lifestyle since leaving our home 10 years ago.
     
  3. El_Guero

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    Yes,

    Yes,

    If God privileges me to have a daughter ... ;o)
     
  4. donnA

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    Of course I would.
     
  5. Thankful

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  6. PastorSBC1303

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    I would try the best I could to talk with her about the importance of honoring Christ with her life. But if that was the decision she still wanted to make, yes I would attend the wedding.
     
  7. WallyGator

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    When my daughter first told me they were getting married, she asked me to perform the wedding. I knew they had been living together for 3 to 4 months. I told them they would need to be counseled and live apart, no sex, while counselng.
    They refused and told me if I wouldn't marry them, don't even show up for the wedding. I think its different being a pastor father and being a father. What do you think?
     
  8. TaterTot

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    I am sure its different, Wally. We have two daughters, too, and I truly pray that we dont have this issue with them.

    As for the OP, yes, I'd go. And I'd try to make the best of it after they both knew where I stood.
     
  9. PastorSBC1303

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    Wally, yes I am sure it is different and with 3 (possibly 4) daughters, I may have to experience the same thing in the future.
     
  10. Mommyperson

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    It's not my place to judge. I'd be supportive of my children. I don't have to like their actions or decisions, but I do need to be loving toward the person, as Jesus was and is. I'd attend the wedding.

    Train a child in the way they should go and they will not depart from it...but sometimes, no matter how good or thorough the training, they walk away. God doesn't allow the walk to get too far away before serious correction begins..be it through numerous hardships and trials to hitting rock bottom desparation.

    I don't think anyone here would turn their backs on their children.
    I'd be supportive of my daughter, but all hardships that come from a union of different beliefs or unbelievers would be something THEY'D have to face.
    I'd lift up prayer and give unconditional love.

    My daughter married a man who attended a Nazarene church before joining the military. My daughter is a Baptist.THANKFULLY, a firm believing one.. so, she knows the truth.

    He is a gentle and loving person who knows the Lord...I lift up prayer for them daily.
     
  11. Servent

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    I have been through this with both my oldest girls they both knew how I felt about it. they were going to do what they wanted anyway. after 3 years one is happy with 1 child, the other is geeting a divorce with 3 children. I myself was not a christian until after they were teens 15 or 16, I only pray that I do better with my 14 year old.
     
  12. donnA

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    My daughter in law was saved during premarital counseling with our pastor. Until then she thought she was saved, but he talked about it and they both gave testimony and she realized she was not saved.
     
  13. menageriekeeper

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    Great responses folks, thank you.

    Wally, I think as a pastor, you were right not to perform the ceremony. Would you have attended anyway, if you had been welcome?

    The rest of you, what if it were your son that was marrying the non-Christian?

    Would it make the situation better or worse, had the pair been living together before the wedding? Would the prior behaviour influence your decision?
     
  14. donnA

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    I would support my child, male or female, it does not mean I give approval of everything they do.
    When my son went to prison I was there every week,and any other time I could, I gave him money for shampoo, soap and other needed items(they do not supply these), and when he was moved to a facillity where he could have his own sheets and towels I bought those too to help him not get too used to prison(those who get too used to it go back). We did not support his crime, and he knows it, we did love and support him and taught him what God's grace means by showing him what it means. God loves us even when He doesn't like what we do. And I think He is the best role model for parenting we have.
     
  15. Pastor_Bob

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    Our primary earthly relationship is our spouse. After that comes the children. Everything else follows these two. As a pastor, my primary earthly obligations are to my family first, and my church second. I must be my son or daughter's father before I can be effective as their pastor.

    If my child were marrying what I considered to be "outside of the will of God," then I would shower them with fatherly love and advice, and do my best to help them see the potential for adverse consequences should they marry this individual.

    If they are determined to go ahead with the marriage, then I will support them to the fullest in hopes of reaching them at a later date. By opposing them I would be creating a stumbling block that could remain for years to come.

    As a pastor, there are certain lines that I cannot and will not cross. I will not perform a marriage between a Christian and a lost person; even if it is my own child.

    My children grew up knowing my stand on the issue so I trust that it will never be expected of me.
     
  16. just-want-peace

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    There's a fine line between "supporting" your child, and "supporting " their sins.

    That line is different for every parent/child combo; different even for each child in the same family.

    How do you see that fine line?? Simple (yeah, right!), just depend on the Holy Spirit for guidance.

    In all honesty, this is the answer, but it's really hard to apply when the "problem" is so close, and it's impossible to become emotionally detached and see the situation objectively.

    A LOT of praying and letting God do the work without interference, AND KEEPING YOUR MOUTH SHUT WHEN "I'M THE PARENT & I KNOW BEST!"
     
  17. donnA

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    just-want-peace, thats excellent, thanks. Yes I agree, just keep your mouth shut and pray, God knows and He handles things much better then we do. Thats exactly what we did, we let him know we were hurt and displeased and left it to God.
     
  18. dianetavegia

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    Excellent reply and agree with your whole post but felt this was a great point for all to see!
     
  19. El_Guero

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    WallyGator

    I know that was a tough call. I respect you for your decision. I regret the tough decision that your own flesh and blood brought you to.

    It is indeed a "high and noble calling". And there are great sacrifices.

    Thank You in Christ,

    Wayne
     
  20. El_Guero

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    Yes, as I said before, attend their wedding. But, if like our esteemed brother, I was uninvited ... I would be uninvited.

    Yes, I would consider a Jewish wedding.

    There are no other religious services that can join 2 people together under God. I would not attend a cult service to marry any of my children. Of course, that is if God is willing for me to have children.
     

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