Would your music leader do this?

Discussion in 'Music Ministry' started by abcgrad94, Nov 20, 2012.

  1. abcgrad94

    abcgrad94
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    Recently we visited a church for the first time. We had never met the pastor or church members and the visit was completely unplanned. When we arrived for services, we were greeted warmly with handshakes and "hello". We did see one man we knew and of course we greeted him.

    After the choir sang, the song leader announced from the pulpit that he had heard the visitors had musical talent and he requested I come up and sing. I REALLY did not want to do this and sat there in consternation for a minute, thinking of what to do. Then the song leader made a comment that he didn't want to "drag anybody up there" if we weren't willing. Finally, we all went up as a family and dh played the piano while the kids and I sang.

    If these had been old friends, or even people who had asked before the service, it might have been different. Right now, I doubt we will ever go back to that church again. Is it wrong to feel this way? I know we are always to "be ready" to give account of our faith, but is this included?
     
  2. Salty

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    I might see it acceptable to ask the first time - but thats it. A possible answer could have been, we would love to sing at your service tonight -..

    Lets hope this does not happen again
     
  3. padredurand

    padredurand
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    The song leader should be taken out back of the barn. First of all you were visiting. When madre and I take a rare Sunday off we go to churches where we are not known. Every once in a while we just like going to church without doing something.

    Secondly, all he knew of you was that you sing. What if the only thing you sang was Broadway show tunes?

    She gets too hungry for dinner at eight (I'm starving)
    She loves the theater but she never comes late
    I never bother with people that I hate
    That's why this chick is a tramp (hahaha)

    She doesn't like crab cakes with barons and earls
    Won't go to Harlem in ermine and pearls
    And I definitely won't dish our dirt with the rest of those girls (thank you!)That's why the lady is a tramp!

    You could ask to return for the evening service and give them some Cole Porter....

    When Adam won Eve's hand
    He wouldn't stand for teasin'.
    He didn't care about those apples out of season.

    They say that Spring means just one little thing to little lovebirds
    We're not above birds--let's misbehave!!!
     
  4. SaggyWoman

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    Pretty rednecked and country. Why do people do that?
     
  5. SaggyWoman

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    The only church I ever saw it happen in was the one I attended when I was growing up, but usually, it was people who were already known. Not some visitor randomly.
     
  6. TCassidy

    TCassidy
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    "No, but thank you for asking."
     
  7. TadQueasy

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    It is hard for me to imagine someone having the nerve to do such a thing. Someone needs to have a long talk with him about this.

    I was in a service one time where pretty much the opposite happened. During the opening announcements a lady who was visiting the church raised her hand and asked if she could come up front and share a song the Lord had given her. You could see the awkwardness on the face of the man who was leading the service. They allowed the lady to do it, and thankfully it was a nice song. But that was just as inappropriate.

    People do not seem to have much common sense anymore.
     
  8. annsni

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    Just wrong. Period.
     
  9. 12strings

    12strings
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    As our Church's music leader, I can confidently say, NO! :)

    Problems:
    -incosiderate
    -selfish, wanting the person to serve you without asking them first
    -dangerous, as the person could sing "Jesus take the wheel"!
     
  10. padredurand

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    Did we ever?

    Direct answer to the OP title Would your music leader do this? Once.
     
  11. tomana

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    Maybe it's not about the song leader being right or wrong.

    I've been a musician over 40 years and continue to learn just how thin a line there is between playing/singing to and for the Lord, versus catering to my flesh.
     
  12. TadQueasy

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    Not sure I follow how this connects with the original post. Can you explain?
     
  13. DiamondLady

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    I understand, completely, what you're saiying. I started singing and playing in the church at 9. Anyone who knows me knows I sing and play for the Lord. I am almost always asked when I visit a church if I will sing. I usually keep an accompianment track in my purse at all times...usually an old favorite so there's no surprises for me in a song I'm not sure of...just in case, and if not I can always accompany mysef on the piano. It's not a matter of vanity or flesh, it's being ready always to use the talent God gave me. I don't look at it any differently than the preacher asking someone in the congregation to read scripture or a visiting pastor to pray, or when our associational missionary comes to share a word. We're to be ready at any time, scripture says

    ABC...my question to you is, why were you uncomfortable with being asked?
     
  14. abcgrad94

    abcgrad94
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    DL, my husband just recently resigned as pastor of our church, and we are now looking for another place to worship while in-between ministry jobs. After several years of doing nothing but give, give, give, every single service, we're burned out and really needed to be ministered to and sit and worship for a while instead of serving.

    This was our first service away since my dh resigned. We wanted to go somewhere to blend in and not be on display with anything required of us for a service. I felt it was inconsiderate to put someone on the spot in front of the whole congregation without even asking in advance. We had never met these folks before.
     
  15. Revmitchell

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    The ML should have asked you in private before the service rather than put you on the spot. That is just common sense and consideration in any situation.
     
  16. saturneptune

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    No, our music director would not do this under any circumstances unless he knew the people or it had been preplanned. By the way, you all know my music director, Tom Butler, a very musically talented man in his own right. It is rare that a non member sings special music, but it has happened. Usually, he asks the members who do sing special music to prepare weeks in advance. His wife and my wife happen to be two of the members that do sing special music, and both have beautiful voices. I would say we have about six or seven who sing regularly. We have a very talented organist and piano player also. We sing mostly traditional music, with a few contemporary songs. The special music can be either.

    I think Tom has told this story before, but one Sunday about three years ago, Tom happened to be singing that Sunday. There was a young couple visiting that no one knew very well. When Tom started singing, maybe half way through, the couple got up and started dancing in the aisle. I got to hand it to Tom, if you could have seen the look on his face, worth a million dollars. LOL. I will give credit where credit is due, despite swallowing his Adams apple, he never missed a note. A couple of us asked them quietly and politely to sit down and they did. I wish I had a video to show everyone.
     
  17. abcgrad94

    abcgrad94
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    SN, that's amazing.

    I guess it could have been worse for us. They might have asked us to dance for them or handle snakes or something. LOL!
     
  18. Tom Butler

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    The thing that helped me keep my cool was that the couple was doing a slow round dance. Had they been standing six feet apart shakin', doing a jitterbug or the twist, I don't know what I would have done.

    And to tell you the truth, this young couple really didn't think they were doing anything wrong.
     
  19. Arbo

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    Mrs. A and I would have walked out at that point. It was presumptuous of the song leader to impose as he did.
     

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