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Wrong for women to have outside jobs?

Discussion in '2003 Archive' started by Tonya R, Dec 5, 2003.

  1. Thankful

    Thankful <img src=/BettyE.gif>

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    I agree with Jim. Good post. [​IMG]
     
  2. Butterflies4mami

    Butterflies4mami New Member

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    I agree w/ Lil Sister on this.
    The Bible clearly teaches that we are to be a helpmeet to our husband first, and a mommy to our kids second. I miss my kids terribly when I go on a date with the hubby for a couple hours. Also, I worked in daycare for a couple of years before I got married, and got to see first hand the effects of mommies having to work outside the home. Tiny kids would be waiting for us to open at 6:00am and would get picked up late after 6:00pm. Upon leaving I would see little guys trying to show thier mommy what they made that day, and mom being tired and ready to get home to put them in front of t.v. in order to make dinner before bed time, hurrying them in the car without the much needed attention the child needed and deserved.Yes, it is true that just because mom stays at home your not guaranteed a "good kid", but, it is a proven fact that they do have better chances of turning out right. I did say earlier that some women are forced to work outside the home, but, is this not what the women's rights folks wanted in the first place? Now men don't make as much, which in turn makes it harder to be the provider of the family. Also; rent, electric, water, cars, insurance, food, gas, etc. are all hinged on the fact that in most families mommy & daddy work, so prices reflect. I do some shopping at thrift stores for the family (kids outgrow things to quick for me to pay high prices on clothing,etc.)we added up how much $ we spent on eating out, and found we could just about pay another whole bill if we ate more at home. I am also afraid that alot of the time moms work outside the home to make "extra" to have things they probably didn't need anyway. I am sure our kids will appreciate mommy time more than name brands at age 2 and even when they grow up. [​IMG]
     
  3. Baptist in Richmond

    Baptist in Richmond Active Member

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    How do you read that a woman can be a keeper at home if she is a executive at Microsoft? </font>[/QUOTE]You responded to my question with a question. I was looking for an answer..........
     
  4. timothy 1769

    timothy 1769 New Member

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    Titus 2:
    3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;
    4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
    5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.


    I think this verse teaches that women and girls should primarily stay at home under the authority of their husbands and fathers, and that spending a lot of time out and about in the world is inappropriate for Christian ladies.

    I actually feel this way about most husbands, too. In many ways modern "careers" have led most men to abandon their homes and families in the name of earning a living, or what's worse, being a big shot and making their mark on the world. Sure they're home at night - tired, wore out and parked in front of the TV. Our families deserve better. Men have a holy obligation to teach and lead their families, not just provide for them. You can't do that if you're hardly ever around them. I think men should try to work at home and make whatever sacrifices are necessary.
     
  5. Thankful

    Thankful <img src=/BettyE.gif>

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    Are you saying that a woman should be supported financially by a man even if she never marries or before she marries?

    What if she has no father?
     
  6. Karen

    Karen Active Member

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    Well, timothy,
    You have a consistency that many don't who agree with you. There are a lot of families out there who are proud that mama stays home even though they never see dad, because he works at two or three jobs to make that possible.

    The 20th century saw mothers entering the paid labor market. What we keep forgetting is that earlier than that, fathers left the farm for the paid labor market, in the Industrial Revolution.
    Even the most conservative of us now kind of assume that dad should leave the home to work. Even in 1900 in the US, that was not always assumed, as most people then still lived on farms.
    Of course, I realize I am speaking in very broad categories.

    Karen
     
  7. Tonya R

    Tonya R New Member

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    Lets see what ideal we can gain from the good Book:


    1 Timothy 5:14
    I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
     
  8. Johnv

    Johnv New Member

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    Why assme that a Microsoft exec cannot be a keeper of one's home? The Bible says that a wife should be guardian of the home (translated "keeper at home" in the KJV). How that is executed is between the husband and wife, and no one else.
     
  9. Tonya R

    Tonya R New Member

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    You forgot to include in your last sentence that it is among, not between, the husband, wife and the kids, and society which is ultimately affected.

    Tonya
     
  10. Johnv

    Johnv New Member

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    The decision on how to execute marital roles lies strictly between the husband and wife. While it involves and affects children, society, et al, those groups have no say as to how a husband and wife rule their roosts, so to speak. I don't let my children or my peers make my household decisions. That decision is mine and mine alone (if I had a spouse, it would be strictly mine and hers alone).
     
  11. j_barner2000

    j_barner2000 Member

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    My wife and I personally prefer that she stays at home and she is now successfully Home Schooling our 3 daughters. I drive approximately 45 minutes to and 60 minutes home from workeach day. In the almost 13 years we have been married, she has worked less than 12 months. These were at times when unexpected bills came in and we needed to pay them off right away.

    This was as much her decision as mine. I did tell her that I believe it is my responsibility to provide for my family. Now, I believe it should be a matter of prayer for each and every family. I did have to spend the first 8 and a half years putting in average of 53 or 54 hours a week to meet our financial needs but we did ok.

    A big problem is that we fail to place the needs of our family above our wants. ( needs being home, food, clothing etc.. wants being new cars, big houses, fancy clothes cable tv, etc.)

    A big part of this next Sunday School lesson is "living beyond our means" and how this affects our ability to give to His service in terms of money, time etc.

    You see the big issue in this is how well can we serve Him when we are so busy serving the "material world." Now if you need for both parents in the household to work to meet your needs then that is right for your family. However, if you are able to live a comfortable (as opposed to luxurious) lifestyle on just 1 paycheck, perhaps you need to evaluate how well you are using your resources to serve Him. Stewardship is not just about money.
     
  12. Tonya R

    Tonya R New Member

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    Just curious here,
    How would a woman NOT be a keeper at home? Is that even possible, John? Was this scripture written in vain?
    As long as I have 12 Main Street listed as my address then I am a keeper at home?

    Tonya
     
  13. Baptist in Richmond

    Baptist in Richmond Active Member

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    This does not support the contention that women cannot have outside jobs. As a matter of fact, this Passage does not even mention an outside job.
     
  14. Johnv

    Johnv New Member

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    Again, HOW a woman fulfills her biblical duties to marriage and family, as well as how a man fullfills his, are to be determined by the husband and wife. Not by society, relatives, etc. If a husband and wife have worked out a way for a wife to be a keeper of her home while being a Microsoft CEO, then no Christian is to judge them on that.

    To say that the biblical "keeper at home" verse forbids women from working outside the home is a perversion of the Word of God.
     
  15. Karen

    Karen Active Member

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    This does not support the contention that women cannot have outside jobs. As a matter of fact, this Passage does not even mention an outside job. [/QB][/QUOTE]

    Yep, my grandmother in MO had one of those outside jobs. Times were so hard, I am not joking, my grandfather hitched her to the plow, while my aunt more or less took care of the younger kids.
    I think with my mother working in an office, both she and I had it better than that.

    Karen
     
  16. Tonya R

    Tonya R New Member

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    John, please tell us, WHAT does it mean?
    Is there any possible way for me as a woman to violate this command or are you saying that the bible is not for us today?

    Tonya
     
  17. Johnv

    Johnv New Member

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    Note that you use the word "command". Titus chapter 2 chapter is not a chapter of commands. It is a chapter of encouragement to individuals.

    The Word in the original Greek is ‘oikouros’ which is contextually translated "guardian of the home". Women are being encouraged to be guardians of their home, rather than simply standing by and putting that responsibility on their husbands. Women should not be ashamed to be a guardian of the home, for doing to puts you in partnership with your spouse. When you read the chapter in its entirety, this makes good marital sense, both then and now.

    This chapter was never meant to be an edict on who's supposed to bring home the bacon and who's supposed to fry it up. That's simply a perversion of the chapter.
     
  18. Tonya R

    Tonya R New Member

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    John,
    Thank you for the replies.
    However, I have to disagree with you. I can't in good conscience say that the bible doesn't mean what it says in that passage.

    I don't normally use the NIV, but lets take a look
    at just a few verses in this interpretation of Titus.
    I don't think it will sit too well with folks of this day and age.
    The reason I am using the NIV in this instance is to show that the language of even this bible does not agree with modern individualism and the disposition of rebellion.
    Here we go:
    2Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance.
    3Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. 4Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.


    What say ye?

    Tonya.
     
  19. Thankful

    Thankful <img src=/BettyE.gif>

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    A woman can be busy at home and still work outside the home. In fact, I don't know any woman who takes care of a family that isn't busy at home and as John said, she is subject to her husband if he agrees that she work outside the home.

    I think that many times we group all working women and/or mothers as not good wives and mothers because they work outside the home. On the other hand, we group women and/or mothers who stay at home without working outside the home as good wives and mothers.

    There are good and bad in each group.

    I even have some examples. When my children were small and I was a stay at home mom, my neighbor was also a stay at home mom. I don't know how many times I rescued her 2 year old son from being in the street, playing near a construction site, you name it. Then her other children (she had four) were at my house more playing with my children than in their own home. Did staying at home make her a better mother? I don't think so. Maybe her house was cleaner [​IMG] (She was a Christian Mother)

    I really dislike these discussions that tend to try to make women feel guilty if they work. What would we do without our women teachers, nurses, doctors?

    Further, not all women who work outside the home are doing it for selfish reasons or just to buy stuff.

    I agree that it is wonderful and better if a woman can stay home with her children, but it is not always possible.

    And I really can't see anything wrong with a woman who is not married or is married and does not have children working.

    In this day, Fathers are taking more responsibility in rearing their children and I think it is wonderful.

    I agree with Johnv with his interpretation of the scriptures.
     
  20. ralb

    ralb New Member

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    I have lived on both sides of this street. I don't like putting people on a guilt trip (although I don't object to a confrontation when necessary). Based on my experience and from observing other families I would not voluntarily give up the extra time I have had with my daughter these past few years for anything. I haven't handled it perfectly by any means, I have not always been a wise steward of this time as far as my other household responsibilities are concerned, but I know my daughter notices my presence with her.
     
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