"You are wrong because..."

Discussion in 'All Other Discussions' started by rbell, Dec 9, 2009.

  1. rbell

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    Active Member

    Jan 16, 2006
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    This is spot on!

    Especially with some of the global warming threads, I thought this was appropriate. (Some slight revisions on my part)...

    From Scott Adams (Dilbert), The Joy of Work:

    You are wrong because:

    1. Amazingly Bad Analogy:
    Example: You can train a dog to fetch a stick, therefore you can train a potato to dance

    2. Faulty Cause and Effect:
    Example: On the basis of my observations, wearing huge pants makes you fat.

    3. I Am the World:
    Example: I don't listen to country music. Therefore, country music isn't popular.

    4. Inability to Understand that Some Things Have Multiple Causes:
    Example: The Beatles were popular for only one reason: They were good singers.

    5. The Few Are The Same As The Whole:
    Example: Some Elbonians are animal rights activists. Some Elbonians wear fur coats. Therefore, Elbonians are hypocrites.

    6. Generalizing From Self:
    Example: I'm a liar. Therefore, I don't believe what you're saying.

    7. Argument By Bizarre Definition:
    Example: He's not a criminal. He just does things that are against the law.

    8. Total Logical Disconnect:
    Example: I enjoy pasta because my house is made out of bricks.

    9. Judging Things Without Comparison To Alternatives:
    Example: I don't invest in U.S. Treasury Bills. There's too much risk.

    10. Anything You Don't Understand Is Easy To Do:
    Example: If you have the right tools, how hard can it be to generate nuclear fission at home?

    11. Ignorance Of All Statistics:
    Example: I'm putting all my money in the lottery this week because the jackpot is so big.

    12. Ignoring the Downside Risk:
    Example: I know that bungee jumping could kill me, but it's three seconds of great fun!

    13. Substituting Famous Quotes For Common Sense:
    Example: Remember, "All things come to those who wait." So don't bother looking for a job.

    14. Irrelevant Comparisons:
    Example: A hundred dollars is a good price for a toaster, compared to buying a Ferrari.

    15. Circular Reasoning:
    Example: I'm correct because I'm smarter than you. And I must be smarter than you because I'm correct.

    16. Incompleteness As Proof Of Defect:
    Example: Your theory of gravity doesn't explain why there are no unicorns, therefore it must be wrong.

    17. Ignoring the Advice of Experts Without a Good Reason:
    Example: Sure, the experts think you shouldn't ride your bicycle into the eye of a hurricane, but I have my own theory.

    18. Following the Advice of Known Idiots:
    Example: Uncle Billy says pork makes you smarter. That's good enough for me.

    19. Reaching Bizarre Conclusions Without Any Information:
    Example: The car won't start. I'm certain the spark plugs have been stolen by rogue clowns.

    20. Faulty Pattern Recognition:
    Example: His last six wives were murdered mysteriously. I hope to be wife number seven.

    21. Failure to Recognize What's Important:
    Example: My house is on fire! Quick, call the post office and tell them to hold my mail!

    22. Unclear on the Concept of Sunk Costs:
    Example: We've spent millions in developing a water-powered pogo-stick. We can't stop investing now, or it will all be wasted!

    23. Overapplication of Occam's Razor(which states that the simplest explanation is usually right):
    Example: The simplest explanation for the moon landings is that they were hoaxes.

    24. Ignoring All Anecdotal Evidence:
    Example: I always get hives after eating strawberries. But without a scientifically controlled experiment, it's not reliable data. So I continue to eat strawberries everyday, since I can't tell that they cause hives.
  2. SaggyWoman

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    Dec 15, 2000
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    This is pretty funny.

    I love reading Dilbert.
  3. Salty

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    20,000 Posts Club

    Apr 8, 2003
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    Actually it would be funny if it wasnt so true

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