Youth! I need your advice on how to

Discussion in 'Youth Forum' started by dianetavegia, Jun 11, 2003.

  1. dianetavegia

    dianetavegia
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    Youth, I need help! I'm the Crafts Director of our VBS and have been assigned 8-9 youth. I have one young man, senior in high school, who shows up early, works harder than the adults and helps clean up at the end of the day. I have 8 other youth who can never be found and when we do find them they're not helpful at all. Today when I asked them to help the 3-4 year olds cut out their photos to put in their Scottish Terrier picture frames they wanted me to bring them to a back room so they could sit on the floor together and do it. I had 60 little kids who needed hands on help!

    Our Minister of Students won't arrive until Saturday. He's brand new. Our Minister of Education spoke to them several times about helping and once they lied and said I had told them I didn't need them that day.... (We keep finding them playing on the pre-school playground.)

    I am so VERY good with younger children. Kids 8 and under stick to me like glue. They hang all over me and ask me to marry them. One little boy asked if I could come over for a sleep over. (He's 5). BUT... when it comes to the youth, I'm tongue tied. I think it's because I grew up in such a sheltered time and family and I cannot comprehend who these kids are and what they're facing each day! It doesn't help that I'm 5'2" and 114 lbs with a very soft voice and even the girls in this group tower over me!

    Can you give me some wording of how to approach them for help that won't be taken the wrong way?

    Thanks,
    Diane
     
  2. stubbornkelly

    stubbornkelly
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    Well, you can't really make them help. But if they signed up to help, that signifies that they wanted to help, so I don't understand why they aren't.

    I suggest calling a meeting, maybe before the morning session starts. It doesn't have to be a long one, maybe 15 minutes. But get the whole group together, and tell them that when you started this week, you expected to have 8 assistants, and it turns out that you don't. I wouldn't single out the one young man who works really hard - I've been that person, and not only does it make some people embarrassed, the other kids could use that against him (the same old thing of "teacher's pet" - teenagers today still do that, they're just not as blatant about it). But impress upon them that those present gave their word that they would be of assistance this week, and you expect that to be honored.

    Hopefully they'll be suitably embarrassed, and recognize that they've been goofing off and get back with the program.

    They're no real way to punish them, because they are volunteers, but point out that there have been some problems thus far and that you expect the rest of the week to be without those problems.

    I'm of the belief that it's better to have 3 or 4 dedicated workers than 8 or 9 oafs, so I might tell them something like, "if you're not prepared to give the four or five hours a day you promised to give, I'd rather you not be here." I doubt many would take you up on that.

    I would go over what you expect of your assistants again, and also ask them to make schedules for themselves, or to work out among themselves who's going to be responsible for what and when.

    I just can't believe that they would agree to help, then be like that!
     
  3. Audrey

    Audrey
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    Good advice, Kelly! [​IMG]
     
  4. dianetavegia

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    I'm not sure how this worked out. I had 2 girls volunteer early in the spring to work in crafts. I'm guessing the other youth just volunteered to work anywhere and were assigned to me. This is the first year the church hasn't had VBS classes for all ages. This year VBS is only through 6th grade.

    Not only are they not helpful, but I feel responsible for their behavior when they're assigned to me but are wandering around or hiding in small groups without adult supervision.

    Tomorrow I need them to finish some cutting out for Friday's craft and then I won't need them at all on Friday. However, we're having hot dogs, chili and pizza for 1,000 people on Friday so I can send them to help prepare and serve that day.

    I guess I just feel so ill at ease with these kids. I don't know many of them by name and am not sure who their parents are. When I ask them to do something, they look at me like I'm ruining their fun. I've taken in 'Death By Chocolate' cake, banana nut bread and danish. I've also taken in sodas and ice. I've not asked them to do much.... cutting out some things and helping the 3-4 year olds for 30 mins. a day....

    Diane
     
  5. UnashamedYouth

    UnashamedYouth
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    Diane... youth these days have a bad attitude

    most of the youth in my youth group sign up together on different things and form a little clique and leave the adult(s) to do the work... it stinks... some of us(there were 5 of us I think) worked our tails off this year... and we're never rewarded because of the rest of the youth being jerks

    I say reward the one who is helping and forget about the others LOL
     
  6. MissAbbyIFBaptist

    MissAbbyIFBaptist
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    Oh wow Kelly that was great! [​IMG]
    I just can't beleive kids would do that! I guess I'm sheltered, cause right now we're running about 5 youth in Sunday school. Total. And besides precher's grandson hardly being awake for the lesson, we're good kids. That's the worst we've had so far. Thank the Lord. And this will be our first year letting the youth work in VBS. We're all in HS except for one, but he's in eighth. I hope we'll be fine. I'm still scared to death with nursery, but the worst those babies can do is kill me! Not like anything major could happen! [​IMG] ;) I hope...gulp!
    Diane, you go get em! Round em up. Tell em if their gonna sign up for something they need to be faithful to it. If a man dosn't work he ain't to eat the Bible says somewere in Thesolonians!
    ;)
    ~Miss Abby [​IMG]
     
  7. dianetavegia

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    Well today we had some emergencies and I REALLY needed the help. One of our infant nursery workers (paid help) got called to the hospital for an emergency in her immediate family. (We have SIX nurseries!) My best helper was called to fill in for her. Another of my adult helpers didn't come today. She cleans houses and HAD to do a house today. She didn't let me know ahead of time. A worker who was visiting someone from out of town left for Ky. at 10:00. I had ONE adult worker and the teens and we have so many kids that we're in two different areas for part of the day at the same time.

    I was very honest with the youth about needing their help and the 3 who were there DID work. At the end of the day, they asked if they could have the left over Salvation Bracelets I had made up to use as witnessing tools. Of course I said yes.

    Abby, in the state of Georgia, no teen under 18 is allowed to work in the nursery without an adult present. Also, every adult is to have a criminal background check so we're limited to who can be grabbed to fill in. This has been state law for years and churches our size are included in the law.

    All in all, the day went GREAT! I gave the plan of salvation to the kids as we learned what the beads on the bracelet stood for and I asked questions that needed Bible verse answers. Some of the kids knew the answers but out of almost 300 kids, only a few seemed to know any scripture.

    Thanks for your advice. Tomorrow is all set up already and I've told the teens they'll be needed to help set up and serve the 1,000 who come for chili, hot dogs and pizza after commencement.

    Diane Tavegia
     
  8. stubbornkelly

    stubbornkelly
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    How did it end up, Diane?
     
  9. SaggyWoman

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    My opinion? Don't let them help you. Form a class for the youth and get the adults to help you.
     
  10. dianetavegia

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    VBS went really well. I didn't use the youth but for a few classes on Thursday and none on Friday. The Minister of Ed. gave them quite a talking to. Some of them were found 'alone' and were reprimanded. Brother Jack told them he'd call their parents to come pick them up if they were not beyond reproach. Also, he put a padlock on the playground for the rest of the week.

    Our new Student/ Youth Minister arrived Friday and began on Sunday. He doesn't give me the impression that he's going to put up with any horse play or inappropriate behavior!

    Thanks all,
    Diane
     

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