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Things Women Say

Discussion in 'Jokes & Humor (Clean)' started by Revmitchell, Dec 5, 2009.

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  1. Revmitchell

    Revmitchell Well-Known Member
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    1. Fine:
    This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

    2. Five Minutes:
    If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

    3. Nothing:
    This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with Nothing usually end with Fine.

    4. Go Ahead:
    This is a dare, not permission. Do not do It!

    5. Loud Sigh:
    This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of Nothing.)

    6. That’s Okay:
    This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That is okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

    7. Thanks:
    A woman is thanking you, do not question or faint. Just say: “You are welcome.”

    8. Whatever:
    Is women’s way of saying …

    9. Don’t Worry About It, I Got It:
    Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking “What is wrong?” For the woman’s response refer to #3.
     
    #1 Revmitchell, Dec 5, 2009
  2. MrJim

    MrJim New Member

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    They are mysterious creatures~~we celebrated our 20th anniversary a couple months ago, still don't have her figured out:laugh:; that language business, you'd think someone would be offering classes for interpretation ;)
     
    #2 MrJim, Dec 5, 2009
  3. abcgrad94

    abcgrad94 Active Member

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    Classes? Absolutely not. Don't you know we women have a secret code between ourselves? Whenever men start to figure it out, we change the rules! Bwhahahahaha.
     
    #3 abcgrad94, Dec 5, 2009
  4. Tom Butler

    Tom Butler New Member

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    For some reason, I just didn't get the humor in Revmitchell's post and abcgrad's followup. But I showed ithem to my wife and she thought it was hilarious. She said she'd explain it to me later, once she got off the floor.
     
    #4 Tom Butler, Dec 11, 2009
  5. abcgrad94

    abcgrad94 Active Member

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    See what I mean? Your wife and I have never met and we already understand each other perfectly!
     
    #5 abcgrad94, Dec 11, 2009
  6. Scarlett O.

    Scarlett O. Moderator
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    Well, all I can say is that the O.P. is pretty dog-gone funny!!
    ​
    ​
     
    #6 Scarlett O., Dec 11, 2009
  7. PamelaK

    PamelaK New Member

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    This. Is. So. True. Yes, I admit it... :laugh:
     
    #7 PamelaK, Dec 12, 2009
  8. abcgrad94

    abcgrad94 Active Member

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    Traitor!:laugh:
     
    #8 abcgrad94, Dec 12, 2009
  9. Jon-Marc

    Jon-Marc New Member

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    Another one is a woman is angry about something, but the man has no idea what. She says, "If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you." Why not? How can he even attempt to apologize, defend himself, or know what to say or do if he has no idea why she's angry or what he's supposedly done wrong? We're expected to be mind readers, and I have yet to acquire that ability. :tongue3:
     
    #9 Jon-Marc, Dec 12, 2009
  10. Marcia

    Marcia Active Member

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    All those statement in the OP make perfect sense to me!

    The reason men can't understand our language is because you have to read the feelings and looks behind the words. Women are masters at that; men apparently are not. :smilewinkgrin:
     
    #10 Marcia, Dec 15, 2009
  11. kyredneck

    kyredneck Well-Known Member
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    ....eh boy.....my wife resembles those remarks....I guess they're all cast from the same mold. Can't live with em', can't live without em'. Just go with the flow, cause..... 'if momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy'.... :)
     
    #11 kyredneck, Dec 16, 2009
  12. Jon-Marc

    Jon-Marc New Member

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    Women are much better at expressing their feelings and emotions than men. It's the way we're taught as we grow up.
     
    #12 Jon-Marc, Dec 16, 2009
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