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We're making a movie!

Discussion in 'Jokes & Humor (Clean)' started by Archie the Preacher, Jan 28, 2014.

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  1. Archie the Preacher

    Archie the Preacher Member

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    It's going to be the whole Bible. Perhaps broken down into several hundred convenient two and one-half hour segments.

    I want casting ideas for various Biblical characters. Since this is a Heavenly production, we can use any actor at any age. I'll start.

    Zacchaeus would be played by Danny DiVito in his thirties.
    Ruth played by Mayim Bialik.

    Any thoughts?
     
    #1 Archie the Preacher, Jan 28, 2014
  2. thisnumbersdisconnected

    thisnumbersdisconnected New Member

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    Apostle Paul played by Marty Feldman
    The Church at Corinth membership played by the Seattle Seahawks, Richard Sherman as pastor
     
    #2 thisnumbersdisconnected, Jan 29, 2014
  3. padredurand

    padredurand Well-Known Member
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    Bathsheba played by Shania Twain.
     
    #3 padredurand, Jan 29, 2014
  4. Archie the Preacher

    Archie the Preacher Member

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    Okay... Paul probably had an eye problem it seems... And Mr. Feldman was Jewish I think.

    "I was expecting someone - eh - taller."


    Ooooooo-kay.

    We're going to film the bath scene very carefully, okay?
     
    #4 Archie the Preacher, Jan 29, 2014
  5. Salty

    Salty 20,000 Posts Club
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    Adam............... played by Adam Cartright
    Sampson........... played by Hoss Cartright
    Peter................ played by Little Joe Cartright
    Othniel............. played by Pa Cartright
     
    #5 Salty, Jan 30, 2014
  6. thisnumbersdisconnected

    thisnumbersdisconnected New Member

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    Wouldn't Sampson be better played by Ahnold Schwarzenegger? :laugh:
     
    #6 thisnumbersdisconnected, Jan 30, 2014
  7. convicted1

    convicted1 Guest

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    Jezebel.........Hillary Clinton
    Ahab.............Bill Clinton
    Herod............Dubya
    Wise men......Moe Howard, Larry Fine, Jerome Howard
    Pharoah in Moses time......Telly Savales
    Nathan........Groucho Marx
    David...........Harpo Marx
    Saul, king.....Manute Bol
     
    #7 convicted1, Jan 30, 2014
  8. padredurand

    padredurand Well-Known Member
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    Cut! Let's do it again, folks.
     
    #8 padredurand, Jan 30, 2014
  9. convicted1

    convicted1 Guest

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    To quote a line from the Cletus T. Judd's song "If Shania was mine"

    "If Shania was mine, I'd probably go slap blind!"
     
    #9 convicted1, Jan 30, 2014
  10. Archie the Preacher

    Archie the Preacher Member

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    Convicted...

    I was going to say "Jezebel was described as a very attractive woman".

    But I won't. That would be impolite.
     
    #10 Archie the Preacher, Jan 31, 2014
  11. convicted1

    convicted1 Guest

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    Jacob.....Han Solo
    Esau......Chewbacca
     
    #11 convicted1, Jan 31, 2014
  12. thisnumbersdisconnected

    thisnumbersdisconnected New Member

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    Ms. Twain: "OK, that's gonna be the 47th take! You don't have a sequence you can use yet, you're just gonna have to do without one!"
     
    #12 thisnumbersdisconnected, Feb 3, 2014
  13. padredurand

    padredurand Well-Known Member
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    It's an arduous job but somebody has to do it. While we're busy editing outtakes I'll submit my casting choice for Mary Magdalene: Bar Refaeli. :thumbsup:
     
    #13 padredurand, Feb 3, 2014
  14. Earth Wind and Fire

    Earth Wind and Fire Well-Known Member
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    You can sure pick them...but scratch off the list that Hoffman guy. He is currently indisposed. :(
     
    #14 Earth Wind and Fire, Feb 3, 2014
  15. padredurand

    padredurand Well-Known Member
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    He could play Samuel that Saul had the witches of Endor summon. (I Sam 28) Too soon?

    Another casting call: Delilah played by Julie Newmar.

    I saw the light on the night that I passed by her window
    I saw the flickering shadows of love on her blind
    She was my woman
    As she decieved me I watched and went out of my mind
    My, my, my, Delilah
    Why, why, why, Delilah?​
     
    #15 padredurand, Feb 3, 2014
  16. thisnumbersdisconnected

    thisnumbersdisconnected New Member

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    Put a wig on him, he could play the post-mortem Jezebel. You know, after the "fall" from the window.

    Nah, maybe not.
     
    #16 thisnumbersdisconnected, Feb 3, 2014
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