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Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by workinprogress, Mar 20, 2015.

  1. workinprogress

    workinprogress New Member

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    I've read my past threads, although I won't lie, I've avoided them like the plague!

    I went forward with asking out a Mennonite lady and it didn't work out as planned. I let the Baptist girl I'm infatuated with know, but she didn't reprise the feeling.

    So here I am, in sadness and desperation I've accepted a position in Las Vegas, hoping that I'll find a godly church that has a godly woman (I must say I'm disappointed to say that most "Baptist" and "saved" women on online dating sites are very wordly in their drug use, alcohol use, and sexual appetite,...it's really sad. I really don't know what to do moving forward. I feel like I just need to embrace worldliness to find a woman.

    Ugh, why did the woman that helped me, through God's grace, lead me to salvation have to be so awesome but so uninterested in me. She is like a unique flower in a world full of sin...I don't think she's perfect, but she avoids everything in this world that is the antithesis of God. Ugh, how I wish the love between her and I could grow. ;(
     
  2. blackbird

    blackbird Active Member

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    Relax!!! The right one will come along!! So don't sweat it!
     
  3. Rolfe

    Rolfe Well-Known Member
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    The ocean is full of fish...
     
  4. SaggyWoman

    SaggyWoman Active Member

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    Welcome to the board. Until the right ones comes along, there are thousands of things to do. Do that.
     
  5. Thousand Hills

    Thousand Hills Active Member

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    Hang in there, a lot of us have been where you are. I was married somewhat later in life than most (27) hadn't really dated much before then. Would often meet a young lady I thought was perfect, despite all my hopes and prayers nothing ever seemed to work out. The best advice I recieved during this time was from Psalm 37:3-5 "Delight thyself in the Lord". Immerse yourself in scripture, focus on what it means to be in Christ. Understand that in this time of waiting God is preparing you for someone, just as he is preparing someone else for you.

    I eventually met my wife, learned that our paths had crossed in the past and that if God had wanted to bring us together earlier he could have, but he didn't. Now after nearly 10 years of marriage I look back and I'm thankful for how it all worked out. My wife is wonderful, she's not perfect, but neither am I. God is still working on us and through us.

    Don't do this and don't missionary date either. The move to Las Vegas will likely bring new temptations that you have not had to deal with before. Don't lower your standards. Trust the Lord and he will provide.

    Your salvation is separate from your friendship with this woman, yes she was faithful to what God had led her to do, but don't take her rejection of a relationship with you as God rejecting you. As a christian you are "accepted in the beloved" (Ephesians 1:3-14) focus on that.
     
  6. tyndale1946

    tyndale1946 Well-Known Member
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    Wow!... This really touched me!... Never lose hope... Here is my story!

    I watched my wife die for 4 years... She died of kidney cancer!... Everyone in our church through the ages died and there was only me and one sister left... This was a Baptist family church and not long after the church disbanded. A church not only did I grow up in but also helped build. I was 57 at the time and had a grown handicapped son age 24. What do I do now?... I snapped I blamed God!... I was livid!... I GIVE UP... I SURRENDER... YOU TAKE CONTROL!... One month after my wife died I met another Woman online... On a Christian Website... I was only looking for someone to talk to. The Lord had different ideas.. Love blossomed!... My previous wife was Christian and I'm a Christian and I want to marry another Christian. Her folks were Christian as mine also were so that is the kind of Woman I wanted. I asked her Dad who was 90 for her hand in marriage her Mother was 88 they both agreed. We been married for 10 years now! What happened to my son?... God works in mysterious ways his wonder to perform. The Lord opened the way and we found him a placement in a home with men of like handicaps. He has been there since I have been married and couldn't be happier. He loves to go to church!... My advice to you is... Let Go and LET GOD!... Then be amazed at what happens!... You are his child!... Brother Glen
     
  7. convicted1

    convicted1 Guest

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    Yes it is. Barracudas, sharks, whales, marlins, sturgeons, sawfish, et al... :D
     
  8. robustheologian

    robustheologian Well-Known Member
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    Lol...yeah so be careful.

    Welcome to the board workinprogress.
     
  9. convicted1

    convicted1 Guest

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    It had gotten to the point in my life I was tired of the party scene. I wanted someone to my own. I wanted someone who I could confide in, be my lover, best friend, soul mate, companion, iow, I wanted a wife to settle down with. I went out with several girls, but none seem to be 'her'. I dated some beautiful girls, who were really good to me, but they just weren't what I was looking to settle down with. I went for a while 'flying solo' and was discouraged. Everyone kept telling me, "You'll find her when you're least expecting it". I was thinking that's impossible, because I was kinda like every woman I met could be 'her', so I was ever looking.

    A girl I knew and I were talking one day and we talked about tanning beds. We were friends and I told her where I was going and she said I needed to go to another place. I went one friday morning and tried one out. I got more in 10 minutes there than I did 20 at the other place. So, I made an appointment for saturday. I went and there was this girl working there I 'knew', in that years ago, I took groceries out for her(when she was ~12 or so) and her mommy, and she was talking to my cousin, who was living in an apartment over the tanning salon/tobacco store/movie rental place. I thought she was very pretty and we three chatted for a minute or two before I tanned. After I came out, we chatted another minute or two, and I went home. I thought she probably had a boyfriend, so I didn't even bother. I had been home for a few minutes when the phone rang, and mom said it was Mary...my cousin that was there at the salon...and I didn't think much of it, even after talking with them. She then asked me if I was seeing anyone....hadn't put two and two together...and I told her no. She then stated she knew a girl who had a little bit of a crush on me and I said "who?"...still having not put two plus two together...and she said her name and number. I called her that evening...4-5-2003...and we've been married since 5-12-2005....she's in my avatar...


    True story here, too. Back in 2000, I worked with my mother-in-law in the supermarket I had taken groceries out for my wife years before. She worked in the deli and I worked as a stock person and carryout. At that time, my wife was dating a guy. I knew of him, but nothing much in depth. After we started dating, my mother-in-law told me she tried to get my wife to dump that guy and go out with me. She liked me and that guy was really bad to my wife. It's funny how things have a way of working out in our lives. It's called God's providence...
     
    #9 convicted1, Mar 21, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 21, 2015
  10. padredurand

    padredurand Well-Known Member
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    Two verses for you:

    Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him."
    Genesis 2:18 NAS77​

    God knows who your suitable helper will be. It will be someone who completes you as a person. She will be both suitable and a help in both life and your Christian walk.

    And the LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man.
    Genesis 2:22 NAS77​

    One of the so-called Christian dating sites says something to the effect that you have to push to get God to do something about your lack of companionship. Balderdash! It wasn't good for Adam to be alone. God recognized that and it was GOD who brought the woman to Adam. Be patient. Wait upon the Lord. He will bring you your suitable helper in His time.
     
  11. blackbird

    blackbird Active Member

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    So right you are, ole buddy ole pal!!! Here's how God did it for me----while in Seminary in New Orleans---it was my last semester---and her first!! We met in the school's cafeteria(likely spot)----why not the French Quarter?? Why did we not meet each other on Bourbon Street?? Jackson Square?? St. Charles Street street car?? Because I would NOT have found HER there!! She's not a "French Quarter" girl----certainly not a Bourbon Street girl

    We hit it off and I wound up marrying someone "Far above" my reach!! I was really surprised she wanted anything to do with me---can only describe the encounter in one word

    GOD!!!!
     
  12. padredurand

    padredurand Well-Known Member
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    I've known madre since I was 8. Couldn't stand her. I thought she was an uppity, piano playing, preacher's kid. She saw me as a chubby, smart-mouthed nobody from the wrong side of the tracks. She went off to college and I went back to HS and saw neither hide nor hair for several years.

    Her preacher Daddy was called to a church 50 miles north and I thought I'd attend his farewell soiree. I found myself trapped between the punch bowl and the potato chip tray by this fine little filly who didn't seem as uppity as I remembered. I'm not ashamed to admit it but she had me near speechless and I had a fluttering in my chest I had never felt before.

    That was March 4, 1979. We got married in a fever in December that year in Colorado and never looked back. For better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness or in health and we've had them all.

    madre had spent her whole life living in someone else's house. She vowed she'd never live in another parsonage after we said our I dos. I grew up in an IFB that wasn't too kind to the men occupying the pulpit. I vowed I'd never stand in a pulpit and live under a microscope. We happily agreed to stay out of the preacher side of the Christian life and I turned wrenches while madre raised the brood. Yup, make God laugh and tell Him your plans for life.

    Suitable helper? And then some. madre brings grace and dignity to our ministry together. She plays the piano at church and you just got to hear it to believe it. She plays for an audience of One and the rest of us get to listen to it. The running line is I don't tell her what music to play and she don't tell me what to preach. It's working so far.

    I said that to say this. God knew His plan for our lives. He knew He wanted the two of us to join hands and hearts to serve Him.
     
  13. Zaac

    Zaac Well-Known Member

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    Sagely advice. We should not allow ourselves to become so concerned with finding Mr./Mrs.Right that the joy of Christ escapes our sight.

    He knows our deepest desires so we need to operate like we believe that.
     
  14. Zaac

    Zaac Well-Known Member

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    :thumbsup: Amen!
     
  15. quantumfaith

    quantumfaith Active Member

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    I won't call your position on the matter "balderdash", but I will recall the words of my long OT Prof....which I see to pack more practical truth...

    "Pray as if Everything depended on God, and act as if everything depended upon you and your actions."
     
  16. Rolfe

    Rolfe Well-Known Member
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    Smiley Face or no, there is much truth in that statement. That is why discernment, patience, and reliance on Our Lord's Hand is important.
     
  17. Rolfe

    Rolfe Well-Known Member
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    I think that there are times that Our Lord is willing to help us, but unwilling to do it for us without a bit of initiative from our side.
     
  18. padredurand

    padredurand Well-Known Member
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    The inference in this particular advertisement was that God is too slow to act and you must sign up today to make up for His potting around and not answering your prayers on your schedule. I didn't mean to imply that we should be passive in all things. My apologies for not being clear.
     
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