on privacy for teens

This is to the young people here, with love.

I know you want privacy. But I want my things back. It is not a matter of not trusting you; it is a matter of wanting my Tupperware containers, spoons, stationary, pens, scissors, flashlights, roll of Velcro, blouse, socks, and music books back.

That really wasn't too bad today, actually. My daughter is visiting her favorite uncle and aunt and has been there a month as a special birthday gift from her dad and me. She has been having a ball. And she is someone we really enjoy and love and trust. She is, for the most part, a total delight, which is new for all of us after her years of rebellion. So I thought as a surprise for her, I would put fresh sheets on her bed and shampoo her carpet in her room, as she is coming home tomorrow.

I moved the bed out from the wall a bit and my eyes popped out. There was an entire garbage dump squeezed in the 2 1/2 inches between the bed and the wall! So I cleaned it up. With this as a hint, I checked in back of her hope chest. The same. Then I moved her bookcase which is diagonally in the corner. I don't think I could fit so much stuff into my closet let alone into that space!

That had been her idea of a clean room.

Now, I have to admit, I was worse as a teen. I really was. I had to carefully pick my way across my floor hoping not to step on TOO much, and at least my daughter's floor was clear in the middle!

But now, four hours later, her room is clean and the bed linens changed (some are still out on the line) and the carpet shampooed. The water from the carpet was dark brown...

Yes, I saw a lot of her stuff. Letters and such. They were stuffed all over the place. I looked at some and chuckled at the teen language and the ups and downs and knew all was perfectly normal. And I also found every single thing I listed above.

Did you guys know you make us parents feel senile? We are sure that roll of Velcro tape was there in the closet.... but it's not there now.... wonder where I mislaid it?

Here is a clue even when your parents trust you and you want privacy:

1. ask to borrow something
2. return it when you are done
3. keep your room reasonably clean

Then we won't go looking for our own stuff, or run into it when we want to surprise you with a shampooed carpet!

Oh, by the way, I exchanged her pretty little waste paper basked for one that was kitchen sized and had plastic liners. Her little pretty one was full of half-dried gum and tape and makeup smears and heaven only knows what else.

I threw it away.

Oh, and by the way, when you spill a Coke in your room, or Jello or something that colors the rug, please tell your Mom right away so she can get it cleaned up or tell you how to do it successfully. Don't just rearrange your furniture to cover it....

I really laughed when I saw that today. And oh yeah, it sure was nice to find so many hand towels I thought were somehow just 'lost.'

Just wanted to let you know a Mom's side of things -- even with a daughter she gets along with and trusts!

Edit here is a P.S. -- I just went into her closet to put away the sheets that were washed and came back out with my wicker basket, glue gun, extension cord, and strapping tape...

[ June 29, 2002, 08:59 PM: Message edited by: Helen ]