When God seems distant

I have been through some periods of my life where it has been like that. I had a traumatic series of events that tore my family apart back in the mid-1990s and it seemed the heavens were closed to me and the pain I endured. There was also another time of grief over the death of a loved one that was difficult to endure, and I did not seem to find any peace. Yet I survived and God's grace sustained me somehow.

One of the most dangerous things I have ever heard in church is, "When you feel you are distant from God, guess who moved?" It was repeated constantly at the church where I was a member in the early 1990s. I rejected the idea then (the book of Job flatly contradicts that premise), but in the darkness of depression and feelings of abandonment, I would hear that saying in my head and it would wrongly condemn me.

There are no easy answers, but here are some things to remember:

(1) May people have gone through what you are going through. Every specific situation is different, but the basics are the same. I do not say it to trivialize your pain, because you pain is real and it is NOT trivial, but to offer hope and perspective that you can emerge from the dark valley because many other people have endured and survived.

(2) God is faithful, no matter how it appears sometimes. I have found - only in hindsight - that my faith and character has grown in the times of darkness. God somehow redeems these times to make us better people, more fitting for His purpose and our benefit.

(3) I learned empathy through these dark times. I would not have had a clue how to respond to your post except that I have walked a similar journey. I think that God sometimes allows us to have wounds so that we will know how to help others heal from their wounds.

(4) As for Bible reading, I would suggest camping out in the Psalms... not necessarily the joyful ones, but the psalms of lament and loss. Spend time there and enter into that pain. In a strange way, you will come to understand that these terrible low points are part of a life of faith.

(5) As for prayer, don't get fancy unless you are inspired. Short prayers through the day, (for instance, "Lord, have mercy on me.") will keep you focused on God's deliverance for you.

(6) Seek medical help for depression and other issues. Sometimes your body chemistry is off and that has huge effects. I had a rare disease that threw off my body chemistry in severe ways that cause all kinds of health problems, memory issues and depression.

(7) Seek the company of others. While it is tempting to isolate yourself, you need to interact with other people and do things that are creative, fulfilling, and enjoyable.

(8) Establish an exercise routine if you don't already have one. Also, make sure that you establish regular sleep patterns where you get up and go to bed at the same time each day, ensuring that you get at lease 7-8 hours of sleep. Your body with thank you and you will feel better.

(9) Stay connected with a body of believers who will support you, whether that be through a church or more casual acquaintances.

(10) Don't give up. Take each day, one at a time, and don't worry about things out of your control.

 

Many of the psalms echo a sense of God's apparent absence in the life of the psalmist, see for example Psalm 42.

There are two things that come through clearly in such pslams:

1) The psalmist took their struggle to God - even though he seemed distant
2) the psalmist continued to trust - reminding themselves of what they knew

The reality is, Christianity isn't about 'what I feel', it is about what the Lord Jesus Christ has done for me and in truth if we always had that warming sense of God's close presence with us where would be the need for faith? The times we don't feel any confirming presence are the times for faith to grow - we must trust he is with us, even when we can't feel it.

 

GLAD to see you again Stefan. I have been so depressed at certain times that I considered killing myself ...even began the process but the Lord stopped me...I was very close. But you know what would that have proved? God gave me the life for a reason, maybe to talk to you....I frankly don't know. But I keep on brother just like you are doing. For every life there is a purpose my brother and perhaps only God knows that.

Anyway I've gained comfort by reading 2 books by Martyn Lloyd-Jones....one is Spiritual Depression (It's Causes & Cure) and the second book by MLJ is Studies in the Sermon on the Mount. And look, Jones was a medical man, tops in his field at the time and a Pastor/ Preacher. Anyway...I find them inspiring and comforting.

 

I know a brother in the Lord who also has bipolar disorder. Sometimes he doubts his salvation, too.

Besides taking medicine, he attends Church regularly, reads the Bible, and prays for his family and those who attend his Church.

When this friend has stopped taking his medication, he gets delusions of granduer and becomes very paranoid.

He went 10 years without a relapse. Then, three years ago, wanting "more energy," he stopped taking his meds. VA hospitalization ensued and now he looks forward to extending three years of stability in to the years ahead.

God loves you very much. He will never leave you nor forsake you. He will guide you through the difficult times and clear your thoughts so that you can concentrate on Him.

 

Its hard to say what the right thing is. I had to take some very strong pain meds a while back. They completely turned off my "God box" as many psychiatrists call it. The entire time I was on the meds, I struggled very hard to maintain a meaningful relationship with God. All I can tell you is I feel your pain, but I have no answer.

 

Stefan,

Please see my post on your thread "Backsliding---" I think it will help you a lot. I'm not supposed to "double post." This is when someone posts the same message in two different threads. (I did it once, but it is frowned upon.)

 

Been there brother,

Psalm 37:7 Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass.

Isaiah 40:31 But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

HankD