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Marriage and Birth Control

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by NoQuieroUnQueso, Jul 10, 2019.

  1. NoQuieroUnQueso

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    Good afternoon, everyone! Before I begin, let me just make my beliefs clear about certain things. I'm strictly for marriage first, and I am against abortion entirely.

    With that being said, recently I noticed something strange in my church that I'd like to ask all of you about. Our pastor, who currently has 4 kids (the youngest being 1) was talking about having another baby. Now his wife isn't pregnant, and from what I've heard her say to the other women she is not interested in having more kids. Mainly because their house doesn't have room for another kid, they really can't afford another baby, and her pregnancy with their last baby had so many complications she doesn't want to risk her life and the life of a fifth child. I actually heard her talking about this before the pastor spoke up about this.

    We also had a woman in our church give birth to her fourth son, and her pregnancy nearly killed her. She was in the hospital for months trying to keep the baby from being born too early, and even then the baby was born very premature. Thank the Lord that the little guy and his mother are doing okay, as far as I know. Their family isn't in church as much due to their life being a bit hectic.

    But it kind of got me wondering. I'm fairly certain that I don't go to a Quiverfull church, but I do notice a lot of families have many kids. Not that I'm complaining, I love all the little'uns, but it got me wondering what my church's views on birth control are.

    Now I'm not for abortifacients that kill after conception, but if a family has decided that they've had enough children isn't it okay to go to the doctor to get 'snipped', so to speak? Should married couples not opt for any form of birth control, even if it meant risking the life of the wife and potentially the child? At what point should a couple decide to be thankful for the children they have instead of pushing for more babies, and would any of you consider a particularly difficult pregnancy as the sign that it's time to tie the tubes?

    I thank you all for your input and advance, and I hope you all have a blessed day!
     
  2. Salty

    Salty 20,000 Posts Club
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    The Bible says "GO ye and multiple". IMHO I think mankind has done a very good job in that area.

    I noticed you used the term "Quiverfull church" I remember James Dobson mentioning about how
    many children a family should have. He stated that basically scripture does not say specifically. The closest
    would be the passage about "Quiverfull" But to base a whole doctrine on that is a bit flimsily.

    You stated that the pastor already has 4 children and the wife feels that the family cannot afford another child.
    Now some will say "we live by faith" Well we also need to live by common sense. Sure, John and Charles Wesley
    had 17 brothers and sisters!.
    But keep in mind - back in those days, kids back then were an assets - opposed to today where normally children
    are a liability. It is estimated that it could cost $250,000 to raise one child.
    ,
    So to answer your questions, I see no problem with "snipping" or other appropriate action to prevent conception.

    Now, the major thing to be concerned about is how this wife deals with her husband.
    That is what needs to be address.
     
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  3. NoQuieroUnQueso

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    Thanks for your input! The pastor's wife isn't just worried about expenses, though if one already has trouble feeding the children they have they should probably hold off on another until the situation improves, but she also has a concern about physically carrying another child. Their last baby was so hard medically that she really doesn't want to risk another. While I do believe that the Lord can get us through anything, I think He has ways of telling us when we need to stop something. And if it was a miracle that your fourth kid was born, that may be a signal to stop having kids and be thankful with the blessings one has. After all, the Lord giveth and He taketh away.

    I just wonder how a father would feel in a situation where something went wrong. I don't believe he'd ever do this, but for example if the pastor kept pushing for baby number 5 and it ended up being too much for his wife. I just don't know how anyone could handle something like that.

    With that being said, while the pastor's wife is a virtuous and submissive woman, she's certainly not a pushover. The funny thing is that he knows it very well. They have a good marriage from what I can tell, and I think eventually the pastor will give up wishing for more babies. And that may be the problem, is that he doesn't want more kids rather than he wants more babies. In a way people enthusiastically want a puppy, but aren't too thrilled about getting a dog. All in all, he's a good man and I wish him and his family the best.
     
  4. Salty

    Salty 20,000 Posts Club
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    Yes, the medical condition should be a warning sign. But (and incorrectly) some will say - its God will - and he will provide.

    Makes me think - of that city that had a flood Well - the Army National Guard came with a truck to help people escape the rising waters. But the pastor said
    "No need - God will provide" Well, the waters rose again - now they are on the second floor. Next - the Coast Guard comes by win a boat. and the pastor says "No need - God will provide" - a couple of hours later - the water is rising about the second floor - so now the family is standing on the roof - coming in sight is the Air National Guard with a chopper- Once again the pastor refuses as he states: "No need - God will provide" Later that day - the family drowns. - as they approach St Peter - the pastor says - We don't understand what happen, we truly believed that God would protect us. Peter, (trying not to laugh) says "Pastor Steve, God sent you a truck, a boat and a chopper!"
     
  5. robycop3

    robycop3 Well-Known Member
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    I believe that, when a family can barely feed the kids they have, they've had enough, & God is telling them so. Same when a woman has medical issues during a pregnancy. As for "quiver-fulls", I believe God gives different-size "quivers" to each couple; some will hold more "arrows" than others.

    And, is a family has no monetary probs in having many kids, there's still the matter of having enough ATTENTION to go around. I know a couple who had 11 kids, & , while the parents & older kids were devout, the 4 youngest ended up in prison; 2 died of dope overdoses.& the other 2 are still incarcerated.

    I truly believe God will tell a Christian couple enough is enough by various means.
     
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  6. Salty

    Salty 20,000 Posts Club
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    That is if they listen to the Lord!
     
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  7. robycop3

    robycop3 Well-Known Member
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    BTW, my wife is the oldest of 5 kids. (The others were all boys.) Her late aunt, her mom's sis, was a RC who had 11 kids. (The 4 youngest ended up in jail; 2 died of drug ODs) When my mom-in-law had great medical difficulty with her last child, she decided that was it & had her tubes tied when the baby was delivered by C-section. (He grew up healthy!) This started a serious argument with her sis, who berated her for not trusting God to care for her if she became pregnant again. M-I-L responded the only reason the RCC wanted people to breed like rabbits was to produce more RCs, & that her family stayed poor cuz they had an army. They never spoke again.

    While $$ was no prob for my in-laws, it took all their time to give enough ATTENTION to each one of 5 kids, but all grew up to be responsible, Godly, healthy adults. They lived long enough to see that, living into their late 70s. (They were lifelong Methodists.)
     
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  8. agedman

    agedman Well-Known Member
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    One pastor considered the "quiver full" was that the hunter could only hunt long enough until the quiver was empty.

    If he had more children then the "quiver" was capable of holding enough arrows to deliver food for, then that man should have stopped having children.

    But, that man would certainly be blessed if the family wasn't so large that the food brought home was not sufficient. Hence, quiver full of arrows brought enough food for the need.

    Don't know that I agreed, but thought the man had something to say. :)
     
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