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My Testimony Part 1

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by Steven Yeadon, Jan 16, 2020.

  1. Steven Yeadon

    Steven Yeadon Well-Known Member
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    This is my testimony to the point of becoming a Christian. It is part 1 of 2 since I would go onto rebellion against God, and I would be called back to Him later after realizing I faced a terrible eternal fate as one who rejected the Gospel. I received miracles to become a Christian, and I explain that here. I would go onto far more miracles to call me back to repentance that I will explain in my next thread.


    My Testimony Part 1

    I was fairly irreligious as a child. I had been taken to church a few times a year, which I enjoyed, and I did go to Vacation Bible School at my parents behest a few times as a young child, but I never understood the Gospel of Jesus the Christ and I never received believer's baptism. I came to have far more faith in science and technology to solve all our problems than in the God of the bible. I still believed in a God of some sort. A Deistic God science would allow. In high school I identified myself as a Deist, but as time went on I questioned whether a Deistic God loved mankind at all, because it seemed like we were orphaned children to such an aloof and careless Deity.

    Here I must be blunt, I suspect I have Asperger’s syndrome, I at least suffer from its symptoms, and am seeking for whether it is due to autism or a mental illness through medical professionals. This is important to say because I remember my childhood was painful. I was isolated, I had almost no friends, I was sad all the time, I fixated on videogames and dark subjects for a child such as war, and when my parents got divorced at the age of 10, it just made everything worse. Middle school was more of the same except for the fact puberty made everything even worse. I was miserable in middle school and started to despair of life itself.

    At the beginning of high school, I finally seemed to be in my element in honors classes since I was surrounded by preps and fellow nerds. At the time, I embraced Christian morality as good and virtuous, but I did not believe in God or His Son Jesus Christ. I was going off of my own rearing in a nominally Christian home. As high school goes on I identify myself as secular, and later I identify as an atheist. Although, I knew there was a God, one of science I believed, I identified as an atheist because I grew to hate this God and wanted to avoid thinking about it since it was a painful subject.

    I grow to be incredibly dark and philosophical in high school. I began to see virtue in men like Vladimir Lenin, Erwin Rommel, Julius Caesar, Augustus Caesar, and Alexander the Great. The only men I find to be evil are people like rapists, serial killers, Stalin, and Hitler. I start to hate religion after being forced to read a novel length book about Buddhism and after enduring endless classes about spiritists in the 19th century. If Buddhism and Spiritism are what religion really looks like, I thought “no thank you.” I began to cheer on the rise of secularism and death of religion. I start to come undone in senior year of high school due to my aspergers-like symptoms. I did a lot of silly but very immoral things I came to regret.

    College was supposed to be my time. I wanted to be an aerospace engineer and work for NASA or a defense subcontractor. However, I found out I hated engineering. It seemed to be endless mathematical assignments. I learned I was not a genius at college-level math like I was with high school science classes. I knew I was not a cutting edge thinker, and this was very important to me. I wanted to design weapons of war or spaceships. Since I saw war as romantic and space as the hope of humanity. After reading up on actual entry-level positions I abandoned engineering.

    This was a huge blow and I considered what to become instead of an aerospace engineer. I realized that my dream was to become like the modern philosophers I was reading while in college. People like Friedrich Nietzsche, someone deeply influential to the Nazis. I wanted to be a kind of modern messiah that would save the world through my own modern, secular philosophy. However, in wrestling with this I also had a darker side to this thinking. I imagined that mankind might not want to live in a better world of my own design and that humanity may need to be killed off instead. A violent instinct I rationalized away with my own modern philosophy. I began to pursue education in fields where my knowledge could be used to inflict mass harm, as I considered becoming a philosophy student.

    It was at this time that some Christian friends lent me a copy of C.S. Lewis’ book Mere Christianity, after I asked them what the Christian faith believed. I was torn by the work emotionally. C.S. Lewis revealed a religion I knew nothing about really. A religion that made an odd kind of sense to me. I decided to go with my dad to church. I enjoyed doing so, and I continued to go with my dad. I also started to read the bible. I tried reading Genesis but to my science obsessed it didn’t make sense. I turned to the Gospels at the behest of my Christian friends and found a figure I had never imagined could be real: the Jesus Christ of the bible. This person was so unlike everything I had ever heard about Him. I immediately recognized what C.S. Lewis was saying in that Jesus Christ was either a monster, a madman, or the Son of God.

    I began to debate everything I held dear. Finally I decided to test God with a prayer for a miracle to see if He existed. So, in the summer of 2004 as a hurricane named Charley was barreling towards Tampa, Florida. I knew the prayer I wanted to pray. I prayed the hurricane would hit my hometown of Orlando, FL instead of Tampa. The hurricane changed course only a few hours after the prayer for a reason scientists did not understand, and it hit Orlando on my birthday of August 14th. As soon as Charley was coming our way, I knew it was an answered prayer and that prayer revealed my heart. So monstrous was my sin that I did not immediately recognize what I did was wrong until I went to church that Sunday. The sermon was about how the world could be shaken but that God and His throne could not be shaken.

    Feeling guilt after hurricane Charley hit Orlando, I decided to volunteer to help one of the victims of the storm. A churchgoer at one of my friend’s church. I spent a day clearing out a house that was condemned because a tree fell through it. I saw the love of Christians for one another that day and it surprised me. At this point I was confident God existed. However, on the way home I wrestled with a deep darkness in me. I couldn’t believe it. A loving God? How could such a Being exist? Was there hope in this hopeless universe seemingly governed by random chance and scientific laws? Could I finally abandon my quest to save the world? I felt in emotional hell. Finally, not able to summon up enough faith to believe in the God of Christianity. Feeling that I needed more evidence, I asked on the way home that day for two more hurricanes to hit Orlando that year. This did happen with hurricanes Frances and Jeanne in September. My two prayers for three hurricanes to hit Orlando in 2004 laid my heart bare. I was a monster lost in sin and I knew it.

    I started to read large amounts of the bible. I kept going to church. I was still doubtful of Jesus Christ, since I checked other religions to see if the God that gave me a hurricane named Charley could be the God of a non-Christian religion. After doing some research, I decided only the Christian God made sense to me as the God over the weather Who would answer personal prayer.

    After hurricanes Frances and Jeanne hit Orlando, I identified as a Christian wholeheartedly and I felt conviction to get baptized after watching a baptismal service. I was baptized a few weeks later in October. I was a Christian now, but the story of my testimony does not end there. I would eventually lose my faith and return to a life lost in sin, but God would bring me back from my rebellion against Him to be the believer in Jesus Christ I am today.
     
  2. Steven Yeadon

    Steven Yeadon Well-Known Member
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    An important request, please inform me how to make this testimony better. I plan to use it a lot to build up believers and influence unbelievers.

    A good bible verse for this part is:
    Galatians 6:14 NASB

    But may it never be that I would boast, except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.
     
  3. Marooncat79

    Marooncat79 Well-Known Member
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    Steve

    We were all unbelievers at one time tempting God and lost in sin.

    Neithers miracles, nor belief in miracles save us, but the Gospel only. It is in trusting Christ alone for salvation.

    Do you understand that you are a sinner (we all are), do you understand that Christ died to save sinners? Are you trusting in Christ alone for salvation?
     
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  4. Reformed1689

    Reformed1689 Well-Known Member

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    Where is the Gospel in this? Where is Christ's saving work in this?
     
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  5. Steven Yeadon

    Steven Yeadon Well-Known Member
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    Yes I do. I get your point though, I must stress the Cross more in my testimony. My need for a savior from my sins.
     
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  6. Steven Yeadon

    Steven Yeadon Well-Known Member
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    I see I need to stress how my prayers for miracles laid bare my heart. I was a sinner in need of a Savior and I knew Jesus Christ could save me.
     
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  7. Jerome

    Jerome Well-Known Member
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    Here is how it's done:

     
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  8. Steven Yeadon

    Steven Yeadon Well-Known Member
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    I updated my testimony given your comments and further research. Thank you all.

    My Testimony

    Galatians 6:14 NASB

    But may it never be that I would boast, except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.

    My story is of someone raised in a nominal Christian home, who never truly understands the Gospel until college. That Jesus Christ died for my sins and those of the world to rise on the third day resurrected from death. That if I or anyone believes on Him and what He did on the Cross for our sins, we will have eternal life.

    It is the story of what seems like a straight shooter with a very dark heart, a heart that catches up with me eventually. I asked and received miracles when I asked God in two very dark prayers. While God is in control and does all He pleases sinlessly, my two answered prayers exposed the depth of my sin. I knew I was a monster at heart and deserved hell unless I trusted in Jesus Christ to wash away my sins.

    I was fairly irreligious as a child. I had been taken to church a few times a year, I had a childrens bible, and I did go to Vacation Bible School at my parents behest a few times as a young child, all of which I enjoyed. However, I never understood the Gospel of Jesus the Christ and I never received believer's baptism.

    I came to have far more faith in science and technology to solve all our problems. I didn't believe in the God of the bible. I still believed in a God of some sort. A Deistic God science would allow. In high school I identified myself as a Deist, but as time went on I questioned whether a Deistic God loved mankind at all, because it seemed like we were orphaned children to such an aloof and careless Deity.

    Here I must be blunt, I suspect I have Asperger’s syndrome, I at least suffer from its symptoms, and am seeking for whether it is due to autism or a mental illness through medical professionals. This is important to say because I remember my childhood was painful.

    I was isolated, I had almost no friends, I was sad all the time, I fixated on videogames and dark subjects for a child such as war, and when my parents got divorced at the age of 10, it just made everything worse. Middle school was more of the same except for the fact puberty made everything even worse. I was miserable in middle school and started to despair of life itself.

    At the beginning of high school, I finally seemed to be in my element in honors classes since I was surrounded by preps and fellow nerds. At the time, I embraced Christian morality as good and virtuous, but I did not believe in God or His Son Jesus Christ. I was going off of my own rearing in a nominally Christian home.

    As high school goes on I identify myself as secular, and later I identify as an atheist. I knew there was a God, one of science I believed, a divine and omnipotent entity that was eternal, as the scriptures tell us all people understand. I identified as an atheist because I grew to hate this God and wanted to avoid thinking about it since it was a painful subject. Thus, I did not honor or gives thanks to God and my speculations about Him were darkened.

    I grow to be incredibly dark and philosophical in high school. I turn into a full fledged believer in a philosophy called Modernism. I began to see virtue in men like Vladimir Lenin, Erwin Rommel, Napoleon Bonaparte, Julius Caesar, Augustus Caesar, and Alexander the Great. The only men I find to be evil are people like rapists, serial killers, Stalin, and Hitler.

    I start to hate religion after being forced to read a novel length book about Buddhism and after enduring endless classes about spiritists in the 19th century. If Buddhism and Spiritism are what religion really looks like, I thought “no thank you.” I began to cheer on the rise of secularism and death of religion.

    I start to come undone in senior year of high school due to my aspergers-like symptoms. I did a lot of silly but very immoral things I came to regret.

    College was supposed to be my time. I wanted to be an aerospace engineer and work for NASA or a defense subcontractor.

    However, I found out I hated engineering. It seemed to be endless mathematical assignments. I learned I was not a genius at college-level math like I was with high school science classes. I knew I was not a cutting edge thinker, and this was very important to me. I wanted to design weapons of war or spaceships. Since I saw war as romantic and space as the hope of humanity. After reading up on actual entry-level positions I abandoned engineering.

    This was a huge blow and I considered what to become instead of an aerospace engineer. I realized that my dream was to become like the modern philosophers I was reading while in college. People like Friedrich Nietzsche, someone deeply influential to the Nazis. I wanted to be a kind of modern messiah that would save the world through my own modern, secular philosophy. A kind of 21st century Karl Marx.

    However, in wrestling with this I also had a darker side to this thinking. I imagined that mankind might not want to live in a better world of my own design and that humanity may need to be killed off instead. A violent instinct I rationalized away with my own modern philosophy.

    I began to pursue education in fields where my knowledge could be used to inflict mass harm, as I considered becoming a philosophy student.

    It was at this time that some Christian friends lent me a copy of C.S. Lewis’ book Mere Christianity, after I asked them what the Christian faith believed.

    I was torn by the work emotionally. C.S. Lewis revealed a religion I knew nothing about really. A religion that made an odd kind of sense to me. I decided to go with my dad to church. I enjoyed doing so, and I continued to go with my dad. I also started to read the bible.

    I tried reading Genesis but to my science obsessed mind it didn’t make sense. I turned to the Gospels at the behest of my Christian friends and found a figure I had never imagined could be real: the Jesus Christ of the bible. This person was so unlike everything I had ever heard about Him. I immediately recognized what C.S. Lewis was saying in that Jesus Christ was either a monster, a madman, or the Son of God.

    I began to debate everything I held dear. Finally I decided to test God with a prayer for a miracle to see if He existed.

    So, in the summer of 2004 as a hurricane named Charley was barreling towards Tampa, Florida. I knew the prayer I wanted to pray. I prayed the hurricane would hit my hometown of Orlando, FL instead of Tampa. The hurricane changed course only a few hours after the prayer for a reason scientists did not understand, and it hit Orlando on my birthday of August 14th.

    As soon as Charley was coming our way, I knew it was an answered prayer and that prayer revealed my heart. So monstrous was my sin that I did not immediately recognize what I did was wrong until I went to a local church with a friend that Sunday. The sermon was about how the world could be shaken but that God and His throne could not be shaken.

    Feeling guilt after hurricane Charley hit Orlando, I decided to volunteer to help one of the victims of the storm. A churchgoer at one of my friend’s church. I spent a day clearing out a house that was condemned because a tree fell through it. I saw the love of Christians for one another that day, and it surprised me and made me want to be a Christian.

    At this point I was confident God existed. However, on the way home I wrestled with a deep darkness in me. I couldn’t believe it. A loving God? How could such a Being exist? Was there hope in this hopeless universe seemingly governed by random chance and scientific laws? Could I finally abandon my quest to save the world? I felt in emotional hell.

    Finally, not able to summon up enough faith to believe in the God of Christianity. Feeling that I needed more evidence, I asked on the way home that day for two more hurricanes to hit Orlando that year. This did happen with hurricanes Frances and Jeanne in September.

    My two prayers for three hurricanes to hit Orlando in 2004 laid my heart bare. I was a monster lost in sin and I knew it. The Sermon on the Mount condemned me as a murderer. I deserved hell unless I trusted in Jesus Christ to wash away my sins.

    I started to read large amounts of the bible without electricity due to the constant hurricanes. I kept going to church.

    I was still doubtful of Jesus Christ, and I checked other religions to see if the God that gave me a hurricane named Charley could be the God of a non-Christian religion. After doing some research, I decided only the Christian God made sense to me as the God over the weather Who would answer personal prayer.

    After hurricanes Frances and Jeanne hit Orlando, I wholeheartedly trusted in Jesus Christ. I knew I was a sinner in need of a savior. I felt conviction to get baptized after watching a baptismal service. I was baptized a few weeks later in October.

    I was a Christian now, but the story of my testimony does not end there. I would eventually pervert my faith and return to a life lost in sin, but God would bring me back from my rebellion against Him to be the believer in Jesus Christ I am today.

    Galatians 6:14 NASB

    But may it never be that I would boast, except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.
     
    #8 Steven Yeadon, Jan 17, 2020
    Last edited: Jan 17, 2020
  9. Marooncat79

    Marooncat79 Well-Known Member
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    Steve, do you srill believe in evolution?
     
  10. Steven Yeadon

    Steven Yeadon Well-Known Member
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    Nope, I am a Young earth creationist
     
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