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Is it worth it to write a negative google review of a church?

Discussion in 'Other Christian Denominations' started by drivenfuture, May 11, 2020.

  1. drivenfuture

    drivenfuture Member

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    To be quite clear here, this is something I never really thought I'd ask.
    I want to stress this first, before anything: The last church I was a regular attender of was quite good; and if I were to review them, would be met with positive praise (for those curious, it was Calvinist; a theology quite new to me).
    Prior to this, my church affiliations have been mostly charismatic and pentecostal.
    At first; this question was reserved for one specific church, in which I was deeply hurt; after much processing I began discerning that most churches aren't actually being held accountable for their actions; and so when great injustice and sin happens, it just goes scott free and gets swept under the rug; in many ways I have become the victim of such treatment, shattering and devastating me emotionally and spiritually.
    The first church that would receive a negative review is my very first church; I was brought there by ex girlfriend whom was still friends at the time; however, one week after attending was told there's nothing in the Bible that said we needed to be friends; and so she dropped me, leaving me friendless. At this point in my life, I was not even a Christian, and these actions may have very well led to my eternity in hell because of her sin.
    After returning from college; I tried out a church; and upon my first visit; a former coworker I had noticed tried to make conversation; and directly told me to find a different church.
    Upon a different church, after having a disagreement with a female, told the pastor she would not attend unless I left; the pastor said he agreed with my side but because of society today thought it better if I left until she left and then I could return.
    Finally, the most painful one; the pastor's children said I was barely tolerable, they and his wife blocked me on social media; when I tried to ask what I had done wrong, he said there's no animosity and he doesn't feel slighted, but that I would not be allowed to bible studies, and gave a range of confusing reasons as to his family's actions; furthermore, he gossiped about the situation to the deacons who were my friends, completely shattering my life, and then told me my feelings aren't his responsibility. I met with him twice and yet he says he feels his family did nothing wrong, but labels this as a boundary. When I asked the assistant pastor if he could explain what's going on, I was ignored.

    I have heard of pastor's suing parishioners for defamation, slander, all that, too, so that is something to consider as well.

    I've also played around with the idea of posting bible verse specific to the situation as well, rather than calling out a specific person.
     
    #1 drivenfuture, May 11, 2020
    Last edited: May 11, 2020
  2. JonC

    JonC Moderator
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    I would recommend not posting a negative review. I would not return to a church I felt deserved a negative review, but I wouldn't not post one.
     
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  3. Scarlett O.

    Scarlett O. Moderator
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    Brother, PLEASE move on. You still have not let this go after way too long of a time.

    No, it is NOT worth it to post a negative review of your old church. Why? Because you have proven over MULTIPLE forums where you post these discussions that you are obsessed with the situation.

    You would only give YOUR side of the story and that is an incomplete story.

    How can a review like that be Godly, beneficial, helpful, or bring about change in them or you?

    You would just be ranting.
     
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  4. drivenfuture

    drivenfuture Member

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    the way I saw it was protecting the flock of true Christians from going to these churches that continue hurting people; I know it devastated me to the point of not only almost giving up Christianity, but also attempted suicides, depression, and other mental health issues. Church has destroyed me. I mean, destroyed me. I know it's easy to say move on, but come on now, who in the right mind has ever just truly moved on from a past hurt? They might go on about their life, but that pain is always there, no matter what they say. I don't want people to get hurt by these churches. Perhaps there is some selfishness/retributive aspect to it as well; but the way we've handled these churches hasn't done anyone any favors.
    I don't find any comfort or spiritual maturity in always "letting go." There is this thing called accountability and rebuke; constantly "letting go" will actually create enormous levels of mental trauma. I'm sorry, but the status quo of "letting go" has not been a healthy go to stance in terms of injustice.
     
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  5. InTheLight

    InTheLight Well-Known Member
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    I sense there is a lot more to this story than you've posted here. I am NOT asking for more information (please don't give it.)

    Anyway, I would not post a negative review for any of these churches. You might feel good about it, but it's likely the church would just shrug it off. I would have to assume if you gave them a scathing review they would not publish it anyway, so what's the point?

    BTW, churches have pages on their websites where you can give reviews? Who knew?
     
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  6. drivenfuture

    drivenfuture Member

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    referring to google reviews...i believe they're posted automatically and only removed if there is significant reason to, such as attacking race or gender, but anyways thanks for the response.
    yes there is more to the story but I didn't think it apt to discuss as this was solely for the discussion about leaving reviews; I have posted before so the threads can be found if people really want to seek them out; no point in rehashing.
     
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  7. xlsdraw

    xlsdraw Active Member

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    Why don't you just trust God to judge the churches. You do realize He does, right?
     
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  8. drivenfuture

    drivenfuture Member

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    So firstly, it absolutely is their fault; even if it wasn't; I still tried to make peace on my end by apologizing on my end.
    Secondly, I had mental issues right after the incident as a direct result of their actions, and went to a counselor for several months. As a side note; I believe it possible I may have PTSD but no official diagnosis.
    Thirdly, the goal of Christianity is not to be happy; but to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ; whom by the way, told us in the sermon on the mount to go and be reconciled before you offer your gift at the altar...seems to me Jesus was pretty clear on relationships between believers.
     
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  9. Scarlett O.

    Scarlett O. Moderator
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    God alone judges. God alone takes vengeance.

    You have allowed this truly simple misunderstanding to crush your life and take over your mind, heart, and soul turning your thinking into a loop that plays it over and over and over and will not allow you to continue to live.

    Writing this negative review will NOT allow you to move on. You will continue to go back there and see who has read it or commented on it.

    Everybody on the Baptist Board has had painful pasts with wrongs done to them. But we understand that God has a life for us to live and works for us to do for him and living with your wheels spinning and your heart, mind, and soul in neutral is so devastating and will really mess you up.

    Here is what God says about our painful pasts.

    1. Philippians 3:12 "...but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead. I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”

    2. Luke 9:62; "But Jesus said to him, “No one, having put his hand to the plow, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.”

    3. Matthew 6:15 "But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."

    4. Proverbs 4:25 "Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you."

    5. Proverbs 3:5, "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding."

    This church, that girl, her family should not even be a blip on your radar screen anymore. You should be out doing things for Christ, for your OWN family, and for yourself.

    There will be NO resolve to this - not the resolve you want. I've been there so many times - I can hardly count.

    I've been lied about, accused of things I didn't do, gossiped about. If I were to allow myself to wallow in a craving for vengeance - I would have already had a heart attack.

    I. Moved. On. - With the help and power of God - I moved on. I pray for those who hurt me and I don't relive any of it.


     
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  10. Reynolds

    Reynolds Well-Known Member
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    I understand where you are coming from. The absolute worst backstabbing I have ever seen was in church. There are a lot of unsaved people in church. There are a lot of pastors who lack the spine to stand up to the unsaved deep pockets who run the church.
    All churches are not like that. There are some good ones. Just find one and move on.
     
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  11. canadyjd

    canadyjd Well-Known Member

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    Don’t post a review. Seek mental health services.

    peace to you
     
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  12. alexander284

    alexander284 Well-Known Member

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    Post your review, or don't. I don't think it's some major decision, to be dwelling on ad nauseam.

    And I don't think a negative review on Google is going to have much of an impact, either way, although you run the risk of being perceived as mentality unstable.
     
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