How to Create Zany Prophecies...

How to create prophecies keeping them as zany as possible with a Gary Larson type outline...

1. Skeleton - Come up with some rough prophecy
2. Brain - Keep the thought small so it can appear as zany as possible
3. Health - Make sure your content appears out of context with the rest of the word (noting American prophecies are generally not as healthy as foreign ones).
4. Content - Create your desire for final outcomes such as - "Run fer yer lives!"
5. Adding – If you can appear such as Ellen White or a Charles Taze Russell you really did well! Even if your date predictions fail people will still follow you!

 

The scientist, Isaac Newton, had the best reply, I believe, against the zany...

"And I heard the man clothed in linen, which was upon the waters of the river, when he held up his right hand and his left hand unto heaven, and sware by him that liveth for ever that it shall be for a time, times, and an half." - Daniel 12:7

From a folio cataloged as Yahuda MS 7.3g, f. 13v:

"So then the time times & half a time are 42 months or 1260 days or three years & an half, reckoning twelve months to a year & 30 days to a month as was done in the Calendar of the primitive year. And the days of short lived Beasts being put for the years of lived kingdoms, the period of 1260 days, if dated from the complete conquest of the three kings A.C. 800, will end A.C. 2060.

It may end later, but I see no reason for its ending sooner. This I mention not to assert when the time of the end shall be, but to put a stop to the rash conjectures of fancifull men who are frequently predicting the time of the end, & by doing so bring the sacred prophesies into discredit as often as their predictions fail. Christ comes as a thief in the night, & it is not for us to know the times & seasons which God hath put into his own breast." - Isaac Newton