Liberal Baptist Fellowship - The Future?

hello.as a trained fundamentalist and ordained as one i have ruffled quitea few feathers in my preaching of liberalism.im one of the only liberal baptist evangelists.you good folks are in my prayers.

 

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Rev. Joshua Villines:



I actually thought the posts were very funny, and an indicator of just how diverse baptist life is. I just thought I'd point out that John Paul II's theology would generally be much more welcome in an IFB church than a liberal baptist one.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not too happy about the veneration of Mary of any of the other vestiges of having an old, official, state church; but I don't believe Roman Catholicism is evil or un-Christian (any more than I believe baptist Christianity is un-Christian because of the unhealthy beliefs of many baptists).

Joshua<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

That's right and the Catholics never did have any non-Catholic groups or Christians tortured or killed in ages gone by.

 

Finally, folks our last business meeting of our Liberal church voted 600 to 11 to allow 3.2% beer to be served to attract teenagers that would normally not come to church, but only in the evenings after six. A church van will provide a designated driver after the metallica concert and dance each Sunday evening which will be held in the downstairs casino to keep the noise from disturbing the 7 people who still attend Sunday evening worship.
Our financial secretary has announced that the casino's profit is up 24% this month after changing the limit of complimentary drinks from 3 to 8.
Finally our nursery department decided to place curtains that can be drawn since it is across the hall from the pedaphile classroom where they are on parole and need community time in the church for extra points to get out of prison early.
All in all our business meeting showed that since the church went from a non-profitt corporation to a profit based corporation, the selling of goats and sheep in the lobby resulting from convincing the members to return to the fundamentals of sacrifice has allowed us to increase the staff's salary by 45% across the board which applies to all women members who are now ordained ministers. A motion was made to ask for these volunteer ministers to provide complimentary drinks in the casino on Sunday nights of high attendance, but only if they can wear dresses at least 16 inches above the knee.
Please, do not forget to bring your ring binder Bibles on Sunday morning to our contemporary service where we will provide free of charge replacement copies for the book of revelation as we begin our study of prophecy and our work in the mission field as we join with Islam and Buddhism to show our concerted love for humanity around the world and how wonderful it is to worship mankinds technical achievements over the last twenty years. We will end the service by giving the "humanitarian of the year" award to Dr. Devorkian for preventing the suffering of 32 of our elderly members. After our evening service a seance will be held to contact Dr Carl Sagan as we seek to prove to the theological world once and for all we are made from "star stuff" and why we should all become vegitarians so we do not eat our ancestors, the cows.


[ October 08, 2001: Message edited by: Phillip ]

 

Good morning ladies and gentlemen, welcome to "Let's put God in a box Fundimental Independant Baptist Church. You will notice there is a box by the door to deposite your newer modern bible versions as well as a stack of KJV bibles, you may grab one to use, but remember to leave it here as it does cost the church money.

As you look thru the bulletin you will notice the dress code of this church and we will accept nothing ness but perfection in how you look, of course you may lie, point fingers, and gossip but you must have the proper attire in doing so.

If you attend this church as a member, you will be expected to reject all others who do not follow our ways, even if they are believers you will have the right to accuse and condemn because we say so.


Just thought I would add to the funnies is all....hey we have to be well rounded but I still love ya'll no matter,,,,,

Sue

 

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by dan wood:
hello.as a trained fundamentalist and ordained as one i have ruffled quitea few feathers in my preaching of liberalism.im one of the only liberal baptist evangelists.you good folks are in my prayers.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Uh, just curious. I don't like to make judgements regarding people until I actually understand what they are talking about. Would you please provide me, in detail, an explaination of your definition of "liberal" as it applies to your case and how that liberalism is applied in your evangelism? Please provide specific examples if you can so I can understand exactly what your beliefs are.
Thank you,

 

Hmm and perhaps the fundimentalists who are being ruffled, maybe thats God's way of telling them to not be so uptight

Sue

 

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> Good morning ladies and gentlemen, welcome to "Let's put God in a box Fundimental Independant Baptist Church. You will notice there is a box by the door to deposite your newer modern bible versions as well as a stack of KJV bibles, you may grab one to use, but remember to leave it here as it does cost the church money.
As you look thru the bulletin you will notice the dress code of this church and we will accept nothing ness but perfection in how you look, of course you may lie, point fingers, and gossip but you must have the proper attire in doing so.

If you attend this church as a member, you will be expected to reject all others who do not follow our ways, even if they are believers you will have the right to accuse and condemn because we say so.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


Hey when did you come to my Church? Hehehehe!

 

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by myreflection26:
Good morning ladies and gentlemen, welcome to "Let's put God in a box Fundimental Independant Baptist Church. You will notice there is a box by the door to deposite your newer modern bible versions as well as a stack of KJV bibles, you may grab one to use, but remember to leave it here as it does cost the church money.

As you look thru the bulletin you will notice the dress code of this church and we will accept nothing ness but perfection in how you look, of course you may lie, point fingers, and gossip but you must have the proper attire in doing so.

If you attend this church as a member, you will be expected to reject all others who do not follow our ways, even if they are believers you will have the right to accuse and condemn because we say so.
Sue<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Please remember to belittle those who take a little wine with their dinner. Remember, God wants you to pray, and drink, in private. Always keep Brother Billy's words in mind, "It's better to look good than do good."

Last week, we prayed that God would send a blight upon our heathen country and punish all those sinners, idolaters, pagans, homosexuals, philanderers, philatelists and thespians whose actions disgrace our land. In today's service we will offer up a prayer of petition that our Holy American Warriors from God's favorite country will be led by the Holy Spirit to drop the JDAMs of love on God's brown skinned enemies. A special Ceremony of Joy and Thanksgiving will be held Wednesday night.

We believe that we are saved by faith, and that our faith must exclude both good works and good thoughts. Jesus is a paradox, so we make every effort to ensure that nothing we say makes sense. Scripture interprets scripture, which means, in plain English for you unsaved, lukewarm, so-called Christians, my interpretation is plainly right and yours is plainly wrong. If you disagree just start your own church. "Schism" is our word for the unity of all believers.