Christians and divorce.

Jailminister, this subject has been argued and reargued several times in the threads.
I am divorced and have never been sorry for it. You see, I divorced him to save my life. I feel sure that I would not have survived if I had not left my husband, and there was no way to save that marriage. I was married for 22 years so it wasn't just a sudden whim to get divorced. God gave me the strength to get out and he has blessed me beyond belief because now I have the freedom to go to church, have so many Chrisitan friends and I am free from the abuse that I suffered all those years. I am also using the gifts God gave me for his honor. In my case divorce was the only option, so don't judge all until the circumstances are known.

 

There is no doubt that divorce is a terrible blight on our society and expecially within our churches. There is no question that God never intended husband and wives to divorce, but it was for the "hardness" of our hearts that Moses allowed it.

I would offer that our perspective on marriage and especially marriages that are in trouble is more reactive than proactive. The best way to salvage a marriage is to make sure the God is in the matter to begin with. When a believer weds an unbeliever, it is a recipe for disaster. When couples do not seek God's will and help in securing a husband or wife, they are flirting with calamity. A good, healthy marriage requires three and that is where the empahsis of all the church's preventative activity should be focused.

Of course, I realize that God can save souls, mend hearts, and restore minds so that issues can be resolved. However, the best medicine for ailing marriages is to be sure they both know the right doctor to begin with.

I too have realized divorce and am now remarried. Having the formula right makes all the difference.

 

I firmly believe if those who consider marriage, and ALL men and women should! and to prepared for that marriage, there would be NO DIVORCE! God never allowed it, but onlyMoses allowed divorce, God "hateth putting away".

I'm afraid when we get all emotional about our poor choice of mates, we'll do anyhting to try to get around the responsibilty of that choice and somehow leave the Lord on the defendent's bench when it comes to this subject.

Jesus,uh, God, plainly stated that "from the beginning it was NOT so" concerning divorce, anyone who argues in favor of divorce is either the victim of their own poor choice, or choices, or they simply do NOT understand their Bible.

I belive both the man and woman should have been saved before that Covenant of Holy Matrimony, anything else is rooted in unholiness.

So turn red in the face, get all mad, blow your lid off, it's great for your blood pressure!

 

No, plain ol' Ralph,
I'm not going to get mad, blow my lid off, raise my BP. Why? Because I've heard it and read it all before in life and on the BB and because it is just your idealistic subjective opinion. If we all had horses, we could all take a ride, Ralph!
WallyGator

PS Are you turning red in the face, blowing off your lid, how's the ol' BP?

 

Our church has a ministry called Marriage Mentors, married couples who have been married for a good while (and maybe trained by the pastor, not sure about that). These Mentors are there to advise engaged couples about to be married (the pastor does this, too) and they are there for couples having problems. Many marriages have been healed this way - I think all churches should have this. (This is not addressing the more extreme issue of abuse that Delly brought up - I am not sure of the answer there but I think most marriages would benefit from a program like Marriage Mentors).

 

Delly,
Thanks for your post; every situation is different isn't it? I also have been through divorce. I was raised in a very consertive Baptist family that certainly didn't believe in divorce. I am 71 yrs old, and have been living alone now for 23 yrs. due to divorce. It has always been my belief that marriage was to last until death. It is easy to be judgemental towards those who have gone through divorce when you are safe, and secure in a marrage. I don't argue with the Bible for a minute, and I do believe GOD hates divorce. However I also believe whatever the circumstance GOD forgives, and washes us clean from our sin. As already stated; there must be genuine remorse, and repentance.

 

What? Please explain.

 

Irwin: I absolutely agree. I am continually amazed at how readily many are willing to assign blame and guilt to those who have experienced divorce, for whatever reasons. No one argues that God never intended for divorce to enter the equation, but neither can anyone deny that the man or woman that has suffered this reality can find forgiveness and renewed purpose for their lives. To listen to many, you would think that these couples had commited an unpardonable sin.

 

So, I am "idealistic" for simply believing the Bible?

May I suggest you dismount before the horseman and his rider be cast down?

Is our Lord and Saviour also this "subjective" in HIS opinion?

Be not unequally yoked is our mandate to obey FROM Our Lord, and SAVIOUR, so hash it out, but please use the Bible?

 

What? Please explain. </font>[/QUOTE]I'm so sorry you have not read your Bible as to request that I explain, but that would be the case so often . I'm afraid most read the commom tater, as in objection, or at best, in contradiction to what thus saith the LORD. Also, please note that any problem you have with the LORD is not to be taken as that of placing another brother or sister between you and God.

 

OL" Ralph,
What would you do with I Corinthians 13?
Are you putting yourself on the same level as our Lord and Savior?
What would you do with divorced people? Take them to the woodshed and beat them?
Yes, it would be ideal for all to be equally yoked,but we don't live it a perfect world.
Ralph, where's the compassion, the mercy, the grace?
WallyGator

 

What you're suggesting is TOTALLY uncalled for, friend.

I see you're just another child of contention I have had the "pleasure" OF MEETING VIA CYBERSPACE.

I Corinthians 13? I believe it!

Your 2nd question? Get REAL!

3rd? Love them as Jesus does and tell them the truth! They have made a poor choice and they can find ALL the forgiveness they need at the feet of the Saviour!

Take who to the "woodshed"? You? Well, since you seem to be jumping up and down for a spanking....

The ONLY reason we don't live in a "perfect world" is because men sin, but that never has changed the FACT that God requires our perfection, which, BTW, is IMPOSSIBLE beyond the shed Blood Of Christ, so forget that, uh, notion, be realistic.

You seemed to have an enormous chip on your shoulder, you need help, friend.

The fact is that men do sin, and God knows all about it. He has provided the grace we each need, but the problem is that men only want to embrace the grace of God,instead of embracing the God of ALL grace.

The compassions of the LORD fail NOT, His mercy endureth to ALL generations, His grace is sufficient to any need, got any?

 

Sorry Ralph,
I just don't understand where you're coming from?
Please forgive me for my ignorance. Perhaps some of you other posters can explain it to me.
WallyGator

 

This is not news. Divorces in Christian demographics have continually been in line wih the national average. The rates of lowest divorce occurs in Mormon and Jewish households. Interestingly, those two groups also have the highest rates of individuals waiting until marriage to have sex.

The fact that Rev Falwell appears to find this as a new thing concerns me, as it indicates he may occaisionally have buried his head in the sand. Don't get me wrong, I have a lot of respect for Falwell, but I think his best days as a preacher are behind him.

 

I, three, have been divorced, and am getting married again at the beginning of the year. Having a Godly partner makes all the difference in the world.

 

There never has been a sinless divorce.

 

Hey Buddy. Did I insult you? What did I do to you or say to make you accuse me of having a problem with God. How about laying off the arrogant insults and just explain a little bit more what you meant by that comment? I wanted to fully understand your comments. Who knows, maybe I would have agreed with you, after you explained. Man, look at your reply! How arrogant and abrasive.

 

Hey Buddy. Did I insult you? What did I do to you or say to make you accuse me of having a problem with God. How about laying off the arrogant insults and just explain a little bit more what you meant by that comment? I wanted to fully understand your comments. Who knows, maybe I would have agreed with you, after you explained. Man, look at your reply! How arrogant and abrasive.