Is having many Children a blessing or not?

My grandmother was 1 of 10. My grandfather was 1 of 16!!!

I am so thankful to God to have such a large extended family because they are a help in times of need.

My grandmother grew up in east-central Texas on a sharecropping farm. They were very poor and they did not own a car until her older brother bought his parents one in the late 30's. They would go in the wagon some 40 miles to church every Sunday. They lived in a 2 bedroom house that was owned by the owner of the farm. They had a total of 4 beds for 10 kids and their parents. They, part of the time (they moved quite a bit), lived in a shack with dirt floors and newspaper wall coverings. The church bought their groceries on numerous occasions.

They were a very happy and very close, God-loving family.

My grandfather's family was a very similar situation, but he grew up in central Georgia.

I feel so sorry for people who are from small families and who have no living relatives. Chances are, I will never be able to say that of myself.

 

double post

 

I don't read about praying about the number of children to have in the Bible. I read about praying for health or peace etc. But I do not read about family planning.

It is very easy to see if God has told you how many children to have, however. Since He controls conception when we don't interfere, then He will give each couple what He wants them to have, right?

I lost one for sure maybe two (not really totally sure about the second which may or may not have been an early miscarriage or a very late period) after a horse kicked me in my gut. I conceived Scott the same month, ironically, that Roe vs. Wade passed: January of 1973. The FIRST advice I got from a doctor was to abort, for my own health's sake. I didn't. Scott will be 32 in October.

Then I WAS stupid enough to listen to the doctors and on advice got a tubal. One of the possible complications of a tubal is later ovarian cysts. It happened. After a number of them, which I swear are filled with pure nerve irritant, so when they leak you feel like you have a knife twisting in your gut, I ended up with one the size of a small grapefruit. Same side as my appendix. It burst early one morning, about 4 a.m. and I was rushed to the hospital in absolute horrible pain. Surgery was scheduled for a couple of days later for a total hysterectomy. No one knew my appendix had either blown along with the cyst or did within a day. The pain increased to such an extent that I thought I was dying.

I was. I died in surgery and was brought back. (Sorry, no death experiences -- I had to be told about it later).

They still didn't think I would live for my iron count stayed too low. I kept sinking for a few days and was on as much morphine as I wanted. A week later, I was definitely alive and had to come off the morphine, which was another hell all by itself.

Carrying another baby would have been easier and safer! God would have handled things just fine.

It has actually taken me many years to really believe that God knows what He is doing in every circumstance. I am, perhaps, a slow learner. I know for years I depended on my own intellect and still considered myself a 'good Christian.' I was a horrid Christian. God had to totally humble me and let me crash before I gave up on my own intellect and learned to really trust Him.

In other words, I am not saying what I am saying from some theological ivory tower. I'm right here down in the ground with enough experience now to say that any couple can trust God for the number of children He wants them to have and then the money to raise the family the way HE wants them raised.

But we are so prideful. We think we can tell God what's best and call it 'taking responsibility' or 'being a good steward' or such. We need to get off our high horses and humble ourselves before the Lord. Why is it we are afraid of being blessed as He chooses?

 

So, you think small families are a situation that requires your pity? You didn't even address the issue of God deciding the size of a family. You have no way of knowing if some of those small families are simply the result of God deciding that the number of kids they have id the number of kids He blessed them with. That absent factor alone is sufficient to point to your pity as an unrighteous judgement of persons.

 

I had ovarian cysts when I was a 19 year old virgin. My daughter had one when she was a 17 year old virgin. What does it have to do with number of children?

That said though, I'm glad that you did come through it all.

 

Scripture is silent on the issue. Where scripture is silent, we should remain silent. Since there is no scriptural support for the idea that birth control is a sin, then it stands to reason that this falls into the realm of individual soul liberty, not to mention, letting each person be convinced in his own mind.

That pridefulness seems to be among those who are telling others what to do. It's the "no birth control" camp that is telling others what to do, not the other way around. And to imply that those who are practicing birth control are guilty of pridefulness? How much more pridefulness is in that statement??

 

John, you are reading way too much into what I wrote.

I myself am 1 of only 2 children born to my parents.

I wish I had more siblings because my brother is 6 years older and we do not get along at all. When my parents die, chances are that we will probably not talk to each other except for a few times a year.

All I am saying is large families allow for you to give more love and receive more as well.

There will be a day, probably, when I am the only one left of my immediate family. That is why I am thankful to have a large extended family. My mother's best friend has no siblings and no children. I do feel sorry for her because it is obvious that she is lonely, even though she does have a husband.

Also, children from larger families tend to be less self-centered, spoiled, and more apt to help others.

Now, that is certainly not true in every case, but it should be fairly obvious to people that children with many siblings must learn to share with each other and they tend to be less pampered because things have to be spread more thinly among the children.

Johnv, there is a reason I didn't use scripture, and that is because I don't believe my view is a biblical mandate. It is, however, my view that it is good for children to have several siblings, cousins, aunts/uncles, etc. in their lives.

 

I think that's quite subjective. Love is not measured by numbers. If that were the case, polygamy might have some legitimacy . But serously, the bottom line is that scripture does not mandate a minimum or maximum number of children, nor does scripture mandate or ban family planning.

I think we open ourselves up to misjudging when we start "feeling sorry" for families that are either too large or small for our states.

Again, that's HIGHLY subjective. It's been shown that in families where there are three children as a minimum, the statistics don't differ. Where there are two, the difference is slight at best. If your'e talking an only child, you may have a case. But I could easily point the statistics that show children from large families tend to be more competitive and ruthless towards others, are less likely to go to college, are less likely to be cose to their parents, etc.

The bottom line is that there are advantages and disadvantes to families of any size, large or small. None of those advantages or statistics implies that one is God's plan over the other.

Sure, I can agree that it's good to have an extended family, but that doesn't mean that it's bad to NOT have an extended family. Again, we agree, scripture is silent on the issue, and these observations are strictly subjective.

 

John, how is it prideful to say that I had to be humbled to trust God and that HE is the one who should decide the size of a family? I'm not trying to give anyone numbers. I am trying to encourage others to REALLY trust God and not just mouth the words.

 

You're implying that engaging in any type of family planning is not trusting God. If you can't see how that's prideful, I simply don't know what to say.

Again, I will say it until it starts to sink in. How a family is managed is strictly between the husband, the wife, the Lord, and NOBODY ELSE. But some here are clearly trying to assert themselves into that equation. No Christian has the scriptural right, duty, or privilege to tell married persons how many children they should or should not have, or how they should go about concieving those children.

Those here who are doing so are guilty of nothing less that unrighteous judgement and abuse of scripture.

 

Wow, hello!!
Alot of us use our resources to help other people even when we don't have much ourselves.

No, that is not true in alot of families at all. Alot of us don't have all those nice things you wrote about. We don't go out wasting our money, only have a car that's running on a prayer, no fast food...well very very rarely, don't shop except for groceries that are cheapest you can find, and forget about vacations, because every penny is needed for bills every month. Oh the internet could be a waste, but there are free hookups and those that are $9.99 a month. That's a luxery we could maybe do without.

Liberal pap?! Alot of us do have to rely on God constantly or bills won't get paid and we will be eating bologna sandwiches for supper more than we want. What about all of us living paycheck to paycheck?

Wow, how can you say we are not REALLY trusting God and just mouthing the words if we believe that we shouldn't push out a baby every time we are able?? How do you know we are not in the Lord's will?

 

Helen,
You said that God controls conception when we don't interfere. By that reasoning, I should not have gone through the medical treatments that enabled us to have three children.
God provided the means via doctors and medicine.
And we are grateful to Him. We did not have more because the doctors said my life would be in serious danger.

Bro. James,
I can see what you say about large families. But it does not always happen that way.
For example, (I can come up with other examples, LOL) I know a woman who had a large number of children and has several dozen grandchildren.
She doesn't have the ability to really spend time with any of them. She is a distant figurehead to most of them.

Karen

 

I believe that God equipped us with good common sense, when we use it. We were created to think, and think we should, including matters of family.

As a busy minister, I determined that two children was all I could manage. I come from a family of five and that was fine for the time and circumtances. This is another age. We did take unwanted teens into our home on a short-term basis. Does that count?

Sorry, I don't have a roll of the die sort of faith. If the scripture is void of direct instruction, I use what God gifted me with; intelligence.

I think a family of any size can find happiness, if they delight their hearts in the Lord. Income was not a consideration in our home. There was never any shortage of monies. Time and responsibility was a chief factor. Anyone who has pastored a church knows what I am talking about. I took both positions responsibibly; parenthood and ministry.

Cheers,

Jim

 

Jim1999, as usual you make alot of sense, thank you.

 

Having children is a blessing regardless of the number. I don't see a number fixed with the passages that tell us children are a blessing.

Two may be a blessing for some, and other God enables to raise eight who are a blessing to those parents.

 

Can using birth control circumvent the will of God? Can an action of man prevent God from working His will?

<><
IHS,
cbc

 

Interesting read from John Piper:

Does the Bible permit birth control?

BTW, Piper is a fan of having large families and believes that it is God's will for married couples who can have children to have children. He is also a supporter of Christian families reaching out to the world through adoption.

<><
IHS,
cbc

 

Hmmm.

I'm a pastor, husband, and father, too. And I have eight children, am working on a doctorate, find time to spend with my wife, raise my children, and meet my work obligations. Hmmm.

 

Then I congratulate you, Paul. That, howoever, does not address the claim that spouses are somehow scripturally required to have as many children as possible. They are not. Scripture makes no such requirement. As a pastor, I'm sure you will agree with that assertion.

 

Here's a question everyone keeps avoiding. What "common sense" did Christians use before modern birth control methods?

It is only in the last 76 years that God blessed us with birth control methods so that we could use our common sense! I guess before that time, God wanted families to trust him. Now, with birth control readily available, we can trust ourselves! Isn't it great how God works!