2012

Are you interested as being a write in candidate? Other then that I know of no one at least no one on earth.

 

I would run, but when I was 11, I stole a stick of gum from the Five-and Dime. I know it pales in comparison to the billions that have been stolen from our government recently, but I'm a Republican, so no transgression is too small.

I also slept with a woman who wasn't my wife last week- granted, it was on a plane and we were in separate seats next to each other, but I'm sure that would be a small detail that the media could easily overlook, and if they did just a tad of research they could probably get the woman to say that I bumped her elbow once or twice and call it sexual harassment.

Then there's the fact that the only foreign policy experience I have is living in Mexico for 9 years. Of course that would cause problems because obviously I am weak on the immigration issue.

I could go on but I'm sure that you get the idea.

 

I think you would be an excellent candidate. You would have everything in common with other publicans in both parties. Oh by the way, you are comfortable with lying right?

 

The least of the evils for me would be Ron Paul. However, I am really hoping for Rand 2016!