A cruel comment by a teenage church member

Sethandmattsmom,

My wife and I have an autistic grand child who is now 14. We have watched from the side line many times as our daughter and son n law struggled with the same emotions as those you are having currently. There are no easy answers to your dilemma if you begin to wage battles at this time over your emotional perceptions of right and wrong you may be setting yourself up for an emotional rollercoaster life.

Children are not going to understand and later adults are not going to understand your son and even fewer will want to understand. The bottom line is your child neither understands nor cares about their response to his actions.

You have a special son and God has given you to him for very special reasons, one being that you might teach each other. You will learn true humility, courage and forgiveness on a whole new level that others, not having the same opportunity, will never understand. Your son will learn how to be himself in a loving and caring environment when in fact the world around him is not so. You will learn what battles are most important and that ignorance and prejudice are characteristics of fallen man and can be forgiven.

You must learn the difference between opportunities to teach and opportunities to be offended for they are usually different sides of the same coin. The young man in question (who gave the insult) may be God's opportunity for you both to learn to love you him and he your son. Get your husband to invite him to your home so he can get to know your son or maybe invite the four boys over for a barbecue and as you learn to know them they will learn to know your son and God will get the glory.

Repay not evil with evil but good for evil.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow once wrote, "There are moments in life when the heart is so stirred with emotion, that if by chance it be shaken or into its depths, like a pebble drops some careless word, it overflows and its secret spilt on the ground, like, water, it can never be gathered together."

I will pray for you this day.

 

Shrug it off and get over it. If that is the worse thing you ever hear told about you or one of your family members you will be a lucky lady.

 

S&MM,

You're the mom here, and get to make the decision.

If you were in my church, and approached me, the student minister, here would have been my advice:

Go and talk to the kid. I feel that is a Biblical approach. Remember...this kid said this to other people. It's not a private sin.

I think you have been wise to forgive already; now you could go to this kid in a spirit of reconciliation and forgiveness rather than anger. But your goal would be to correct a younger brother in Christ from an attitude that's going to get him in trouble one day.

If you were in my church, I would go with you if needed. (In the past, I would have asked a parent to sit in. Today, probably not, during "round one." If the kid was very repentant and attitudes were right...I'd not inform the parents.

But I do think that as an older, more mature sister in Christ, you should consider taking advantage of a "teachable moment" here. But if not, I commend you on your forgiveness.

 

</font>[/QUOTE]Quoting yourself?

 

Do all three. </font>[/QUOTE]I agree with this. You'll only get the confort you need by telling them of the hurt they inflicted on you and your son. Being a teacher I guard my "special ones" very carefully in my classroom and my kids soon learn why I guard them. It doesn't take them long before they are helping to guard these special children.
You need to confront and forgive. This will teach these boys a valuable lesson and get this weight off your heart...give it to God. For only HE knows your pain and anguish.