A dissenting opinion on self-esteem....

I view self-esteem from a different angle than it is being viewed on gekko's self-esteem thread. I'm not claiming to have the definitive answer, but here are my answers to Gekko's questions from a different point of view.

I'm so glad you asked. :laugh:

I do not believe that self-esteem is bad or should be shunned by Christians. It should be embraced. And, yes, I am going to quote scripture.

The question is not do we require self-worth, but rather how do we acquire it? Through pride? (vanity, boasting, superior attitudes?) Or through humility? (appreciation of God's gifts and His working through our lives?)

That's the crux of the matter. It's isn't a man-made issue....it's biblical. (I'll show you further down.)

Yes....and no.

In the Sermon on the Mount, in Matthew 6, Jesus said not to worry about anything. Not your life, food, drink, clothing, physical attributes, the uncontrollable future, and in Matthew 10:19, not uncontrollabe people and circumstances.

So I would have to say a big NO to Christians worrying about self-esteem.

But, I would have to say a big YES to Christians properly seeking self-esteem and self-respect.

Why do people NEED self-worth and self-respect?

There are millions of people who cannot behave as the blessed person that God intended for them to be, pray to God or even make eye contact with other human beings because they loathe themselves.

I have taught children who have no self-worth. Their parents/guardians constantly take their frustrations out on their children physically, mentally, spiritually, and verbally.

I have known a few women whose husbands call them stupid, fat, lazy, and claim to have married an "inferior".

I have known a couple of men whose wives constantly tell them that they never do anything right and that they are a disgusting embarrassment.

People, including some Christians, who have very low self-worth and low opinions of themselves in terms of who God wants them to be can and will do very destructive things. Here are just three examples of behavior that can (not always) result from a poor self-image.

• Staying with a spouse who beats you and your children. Thousands of women do this because they are convinced that they have no worth to anyone, including God, and that they cannot take care of themselves and that no one else will "take care" of them except this abusive man.
• I believe (in my opinion) that self-loathing is part of the mind/heart problem that drives some men to solicit prostitutes or to become enslaved to pornography.
• Many of the teenagers that I teach that are unruly to the point of being a problem do so, in part, because they feel that they are not worth the effort and they confuse the adults who are trying to lovingly correct them with the adults who berated them into self-loathing in the first place.

NO.

While we, as Christians, were once in the pit of our filthy sin nature and were more repugnant than a pile of cow manure, God reached into that spirital pit of filth and saved our souls. Jesus Christ died a tormenting and hideous death so that we might be saved. We are worth something to God, not because of who we are, but because of who He is. He paid an awfully high price to purchase us.

• 1 John 3:18-20...."My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue, but in deed and in truth. And hereby we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before him. For if our heart condemn us, God is greater that our heart, then have we confidence towards God."
• 2 Corinthians 5:17....."Therefore, if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold all things are made new."
• Jeremiah 29:11...."'For I know the thought that I think toward you,' said the LORD, 'thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you and expected end...'"

We should not have low self-esteem, but we should temper our self-esteem with humility. In being excited about your life and happy about yourself and your family and feeling good about personal achievements, gifts, etc....just remember that God gave it all to you in the first place and give Him the glory for it.

• Philippians 4:13 - "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
• 1 John 4:4 - "....because greater is He that is in me than he who is in the world..."
• 1 Chronicles 29:11 - "...for all that is in the heaven and in the earth is Thine..."

Not too high...

• Philippians 2:3 - "...but in lowliness of mind, let each esteem others better than themselves" This didn't say to NOT esteem yourself or NOT to have self-respect. It simply said to stay humble and keep others in mind above yourself.
• Romans 12:3 - "For I say...not to think of himself more highly than he ought, but think soberly..." This didn't say to NOT esteem yourself, but just to not get on your high horse and think too highly of yourself and think that you deserve God's blessings because you are worthy of them.

I guess that you can tell by now that I believe that there are WAY TOO MANY Christians who are confusing self-worth with pride and who are confusing humility with the absense/abhorance of self-esteem.

I think this is very destructive. The devil wants us, as Christians, to have our relationship with God and others suffer and thereby us becoming ineffective to the point that we are useless for the Kingdom of God because we can't get off of the pity pot!!

I think that one can be quite excited about a new baby, a new car, a new house, dropping 50 pounds yet be quite humble about it, giving God the glory for it!

One can also beat oneself up for decades over passed/forgiven sins, mistakes or tragic circumstances to the point where one believes that not even God wants us.

Self-esteem is not the same thing as sinful pride nor arrogance.....in my lowly opinion.

 

As I state in the OP, I do not hold self-esteem and humility to be opposites.

Ah! A dissent to my dissent! :laugh: :laugh:

It's apparent to me that you and I, when talking about self-esteem, are talking about two different things.

C'est la vie. :saint: