Featured A Japanese Christian Funeral

Glad you're enjoying it! I think these are things that few in America ever learn about the life of a missionary in Japan.

Interesting that you should encourage me to write a book. I'm actually about 3/4ths through with a basic textbook for a college missions class. I'm giving many "case histories" in it to illustrate the points, so maybe this is kind of what you are thinking about.

 

We had lunch in our waiting room, which was a fairly large room with two sections, a traditional tatami (grass mat) section where we take our shoes off and sit on the floor at a low table. The other section is more western style, with comfortable chairs and a little table. Patty and I sat there for lunch, and Tomiro sat with us off and on to make sure our needs were met. He’s a quiet but very gracious man, and we thank God for him. In one recess of the tatami room there was a small table with the box containing the urn for Katsu’s ashes.

Lunch was a Japanese obento box lunch, which are very traditional. You’ll not find potato chips or cookies in an obento! We had the ever-present “sticky rice,” which is delicious. There were several Japanese vegetables that were good, and tofu, which is quite good when you pour a little soy sauce on it. Tomiro came around and handed me a little package of furikake, which is a dry concoction of seeds and spices and the like that you shake onto your rice. Delicious! He also made sure Miss Yagi, our server, brought me a cold Pepsi Cola. Afterwards he and I had a cup of coffee together. (Patty doesn’t imbibe of either!)

After a total of about an hour and a half of reading and relaxing, our number was called over the intercom: “Group number eight, please report to the crematorium.” We all walked over that way and gathered where we had seen Katsu taken into the system. With plenty of bows and respect, the staff member gathered us around a coffin-sized framework, after which they wheeled the earthly remains of Katsu on a table into the frame. There wasn’t much left of her except for pieces of bones and skull, and of course very fine ashes. To you this may seem repulsive, but it is perfectly natural to the Japanese, and of course to us since we’ve been here so long.

Next the staff member instructed and directed what might be called the “bone-picking ceremony.” Each loved one took a pair of chopsticks especially prepared for the purpose, and began placing pieces of bone into the urn, beginning at the feet. I participated for just a minute or two to show my love for Katsu, because that is what the Japanese are doing in this ceremony: showing love and respect in a final duty to their loved one. In the meantime, as the eldest son Tomiro was given a large pestle and the task of making the bones fit into the urn but crushing them.

Are you having some culture shock right now? Good! Now you know what missionaries may face when they reach the field and try to learn the culture. I am reminded of one young American teen from Illinois who was staying with Mrs. Takasugi, who directs the local exchange student program. When I had the funeral for Mrs. Takasugi’s mother, he almost lost it at this point in the ceremony, as he told me afterward!

When we had filled the urn, there were some ashes and pieces of bone left. The staff member announced that the remains would be respectfully cared for by the city of Asahikawa, which runs the crematorium. With this we all returned to our bus for the twenty minute trip back to the funeral home. When we arrived, Patty and I were given a huge bouquet from the huge flower display that had been around the casket, and we returned home, praising the Lord for another Japanese believer in Heaven, and her son so faithful to our church on earth.

 

Many thanks to all who have read this thread and for the kind comments from several of you. I'm just going to post one more time with some related facts.

1. Katsu's funeral cost was about 5,000,000 yen. Since the exchange rate is currently around 100 yen/$, that is about $50,000, and that does not count the honorarium to the pastor or priest! However, the average price of funerals in our city is three times that, or $150,000! Moral: if you are going to die in Japan, make sure you have good insurance.

2. Most things in Japan are made for Japanese, who are on the average smaller than we are. The lectern for the service was this little thing, and the lighting was so bad I had to bend way down to see the music, and even then made some blunders. Fortunately I have a nice missionary-built pulpit for church.

3. It is usual in Japan for Buddhists to have a family grave made of marble, with a Buddhist theme and sometimes even a Buddhist idol. There is a place in it for the ashes of everyone in the family. By the way, near our church grave is one with a huge golf ball on it, about a foot in diameter. We know what that guy worshipped!

Christian churches usually have their own church grave so believers don't have to be buried in a Buddhist grave. Ours is shared with our sister church across town, and is a tasteful marble sculpture with a cross and the church names on the front, and a verse on the back. It has a nice cabinet where the urns can be stored.

4. After the funeral, the urn may be kept in the home, so there is no hurry for a graveside service.

5. Everyone in Japan knows the Buddhist priests are money-grubbers. They charge big yen for their services, and unlike other Buddhist countries, they have various memorial services way after the funeral, and charge for those, too. One charge is for a kaimyoh, which is a new Buddhist name for after death. This can cost big bucks, depending on how "powerful" it is, though it is quite simple for the priest to choose one. We heard of a woman who was told if she bought a good kaimyoh for her husband he would go to Paradise. Then the priest told her at the Bon festival in August that her husband would be coming back from Hell and she needed to comfort his spirit. Whoops! With that she became a Christian.