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a little irked at my preacher

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by corndogggy, Mar 31, 2008.

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  1. corndogggy

    corndogggy Active Member
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    In the past 2 years, I have tried to become much more active at church. I don't have a ton of social skills so I have to pick my battles and wait until I really feel led to do something before I try to participate or bring something up. However, when I do, I get the vibe as if he is expecting me to say or do something completely inappropriate.

    It's just a bunch of little things really, but over the course of two years, it's quite a bit. I notice things like, when refering to the day I got saved, which he has done multiple times, which was during a special event at church, he will refer to me as "somebody here at church", or "a person". He will never say my name, although he mentions others quite freely. This Sunday he was using random people as an example, putting his hand on somebody on the end of the pew on row 1, row 2, row 3, row 4, then stops when he gets to me. I've emailed and asked if I could sing a song at church... no response. Earlier this week I emailed to see if I could point out some volunteer work that somebody has been doing that has been recognized very much for it... no response. It's just one thing right after another like this. If I have a general comment or question, that's no problem, but if it has anything to do with me or my name coming out in front of the church, I get this weird vibe, it's almost like he just freezes up and purposely tries to avoid it.

    The problem, is that I don't know if it's just in my head, or if it's real, and I don't know what to do about it. I play guitar in front of the church twice a week so if it is real I don't know why I'm allowed to do that. It's kinda hard to do that though, when you feel as if the preacher thinks you're an embarassment of sorts. I don't know what to do.
     
    #1 corndogggy, Mar 31, 2008
  2. ccrobinson

    ccrobinson Active Member

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    A better option would be to go directly to him and talking about the things that you're annoyed about. There may or may not be an issue here that needs to be worked out, but I can't say if there is, and I highly doubt that anybody else can either.
     
    #2 ccrobinson, Mar 31, 2008
  3. PastorSBC1303

    PastorSBC1303 Active Member

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    Perception and reality can be two completely different things. You should go to him and talk to him in person.
     
    #3 PastorSBC1303, Mar 31, 2008
  4. preachinjesus

    preachinjesus Well-Known Member
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    This isn't the place to air your grievances...besides the Gospel of Matthew is clear in your obligation to approach him privately first.
     
    #4 preachinjesus, Mar 31, 2008
  5. Jkdbuck76

    Jkdbuck76 Well-Known Member
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    Ditto.

    An email can be ignored....especially if you are one of his blocked senders ;)
    (just kidding)

    As I was saying; an email can be ignored, but you speaking to him in person cannot be ignored.
     
    #5 Jkdbuck76, Mar 31, 2008
  6. corndogggy

    corndogggy Active Member
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    I guess I'm just trying to figure out if anybody agrees that I have a reason to bring it up. I'm the world's worst when it comes to reading people, so I don't want to potentially start anything if some of this is completely normal for some reason. That's the problem, I don't know if I have a reason to say something, or if my anti-social tendencies are flaring up, I can't tell the difference.
     
    #6 corndogggy, Mar 31, 2008
  7. Jkdbuck76

    Jkdbuck76 Well-Known Member
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    Corndoggy,

    We have two people in our congregation that are NOT "people persons".

    The fact that you recognize this is important. One of them knows very well that he is not a "people person" and he frequently says "I don't mean this to sound bad...." or "I know I'm not good at saying stuff like this, but....."

    Just being up-front with people and letting them know that you mean no offense is good and it will help you greatly.
     
    #7 Jkdbuck76, Mar 31, 2008
  8. saturneptune

    saturneptune New Member

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    All are right. Go to him in person. Over the years, I have noticed that there are periods of time that I would get called on to pray, then periods of time when it was rare. I found myself thinking something was wrong, and nothing was. It is usually in the mind.

    Anyway, go talk to him. If it really is a problem, or if he is deliberatly shutting out your opportunity to minister (which I doubt), bring it up at a church business meeting and get it out in the open.
     
    #8 saturneptune, Mar 31, 2008
  9. guitarpreacher

    guitarpreacher New Member

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    One thing, I never use a person's name when using them as an illustration unless I have asked permission first. He may have the same rule, and may have never had the opportunity to ask you about it. Use that as a reason to approach him. Say something like, "I've notice you referred to my conversion a couple of times, and I'm very happy about what God has done in my life, so please feel free to use my story including my name."
     
    #9 guitarpreacher, Mar 31, 2008
  10. Rubato 1

    Rubato 1 New Member

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    Corny,
    I am in a situation where I have often felt overlooked or forgotten if not simply ignored in certain operations of the Church. It is often hard to understand. I try to keep in mind that God must have a plan: either he wants me out of some situations becuause of danger down the line (who knows, lawsuits, prosecution, IRS, reputation?) or I am simply not the 'right guy' for the particular job in God's eyes. I trust my pastor to take the responsibility for how he treats his members.
    Remember that 'only by pride cometh contention' when you try to deal with this situation...
     
    #10 Rubato 1, Mar 31, 2008
  11. chuck2336

    chuck2336 Member

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    Great advice
     
    #11 chuck2336, Mar 31, 2008
  12. corndogggy

    corndogggy Active Member
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    It's not recognition that I want. If I had done something and wasn't recognized, that would be different. It just feels like he's purposely trying to keep me and/or my name from being in front of a group of people. The biggest example is the story of when I got saved... when you're obviously talking about me and me alone, but won't look at me or say my name, even though I'm fairly close and he knows I'm there, and it happens multiple times, it just really makes me feel weird. It makes it feel like he thinks I'm a huge embarassment.
     
    #12 corndogggy, Mar 31, 2008
  13. christianyouth

    christianyouth New Member

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    He may know you are an extremely shy person, and therefor deliberately avoids embaressing you by mentioning your name. He may think that you want to be 'in the shadows'.
     
    #13 christianyouth, Mar 31, 2008
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