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A Mockery of Marriage

Discussion in '2004 Archive' started by Dr. Bob, Mar 11, 2004.

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  1. Dr. Bob

    Dr. Bob Administrator
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    (A scene at City Hall in San Francisco )

    "Next."

    "Good morning. We want to apply for a marriage license."

    "Names?"

    "Tim and Jim Jones."

    "Jones? Are you related? I see a resemblance."

    "Yes, we're brothers."

    "Brothers? You can't get married."

    "Why not? Aren't you giving marriage licenses to same gender couples?"

    "Yes, thousands. But we haven't had any siblings. That's incest!"

    "Incest?"

    "No, we are not gay."

    "Not gay? Then why do you want to get married?"

    "For the financial benefits, of course. And we do love each other. Besides, we don't have any other prospects."

    "But we're issuing marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples who've been denied equal protection under the law. If you are not gay, you can get married to a woman."

    "Wait a minute. A gay man has the same right to marry a woman as I have. But just because I'm straight doesn't mean I want to marry a woman. I want to marry Jim."

    "And I want to marry Tim, Are you going to discriminate against us just because we are not gay?"

    "All right, all right. I'll give you your license. Next."

    "Hi. We are here to get married."

    "Names?"

    "John Smith, Jane James, Robert Green, and June Johnson."

    "Who wants to marry whom?"

    "We all want to marry each other."

    "But there are four of you!"

    "That's right. You see, we're all bisexual. I love Jane and Robert, Jane loves me and June, June loves Robert and Jane, and Robert loves June and me. All of us getting married together is the only way that we can express our sexual preferences in a marital relationship."

    "But we've only been granting licenses to gay and lesbian couples."

    "So you're discriminating against bisexuals!"

    "No, it's just that, well, the traditional idea of marriage is that it's just for couples."

    "Since when are you standing on tradition?"

    "Well, I mean, you have to draw the line somewhere."

    "Who says? There's no logical reason to limit marriage to couples. The more the better. Besides, we demand our rights! The mayor says the constitution guarantees equal protection under the law. Give us a marriage license!"

    "All right, all right. Next."

    "Hello, I'd like a marriage license."

    "In what names?"

    "David Deets."

    "And the other man?"

    "That's all. I want to marry myself."

    "Marry yourself? What do you mean?"

    "Well, my psychiatrist says I have a dual personality, so I want to marry the two together. Maybe I can file a joint income-tax return."

    "That does it! I quit!! You people are making a mockery of marriage!!"
     
    #1 Dr. Bob, Mar 11, 2004
  2. Frogman

    Frogman <img src="http://www.churches.net/churches/fubc/Fr

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    [​IMG]

    Interpretive Law, don't ya love it.
     
    #2 Frogman, Mar 11, 2004
  3. Circuitrider

    Circuitrider <img src=/circuitrider2.JPG>
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    Sounds like a "slippery slope" arguement to me. :eek: Wonder where it will all end... [​IMG]
     
    #3 Circuitrider, Mar 11, 2004
  4. KimS

    KimS New Member

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    With the way things are going...ya never know what's next. :eek:

    Kim [​IMG]
     
    #4 KimS, Mar 11, 2004
  5. Circuitrider

    Circuitrider <img src=/circuitrider2.JPG>
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    I guess for born again Baptists, we know where it will all end...the lake of fire for the unsaved and deliverance from this present evil world for the believer.

    Knowing what we do about the coming of the Lord should drive us to choose purity...."and every man that hath this hope in him purifieth himself, even as he is pure."
     
    #5 Circuitrider, Mar 11, 2004
  6. Bartimaeus

    Bartimaeus New Member

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    "As in the days of Noah"
    These are issues that have come up since about the 70's. It has steadily rose to be what we are dealing with today. What will it be in the next 30-40 yrs?
    Thanks -----Bart
     
    #6 Bartimaeus, Mar 12, 2004
  7. Kathy

    Kathy New Member

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    Unfortunately our country that was founded by Christian men is no longer run by Christian men. This is not a slam on Prez Bush...I am actually enjoying the fact that we have a Prez that isn't involved in numerous sex scandals!

    Kathy
    &lt;&gt;&lt;
     
    #7 Kathy, Mar 14, 2004
  8. vaspers

    vaspers New Member

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    Now I wanna marry my computer. Yes I know I'm already married, but my wife is a human, and my computer is a machine, so it wouldn't be polygamy to marry the computer.

    Then I want to marry myself, yes a man marrying a man, auto-philic, but I'm not gay, even though I am in love with a man, the man who I am, that is, myself.

    If I love myself, why can't I marry myself, and make it legal and official? If a man loves a man, even though it is himself, does that make him gay, even though he has zero attraction to any other man, even though he is monogamous in his attachment to himself? Deep moral dilemmas.

    Trying to make Dr. Bob laff so hard like he make vaspers laff and lagg and lollygag around too much.

    Seriously, coming around the bend will be humans marrying non-humans, and living humans marrying non-living humans, and real humans marrying imaginary humans (Popeye, Mr. Goodwrench, The Man in the Mirror, The Man in the Moon, Santa Claus, Batman, Benny Hinn, etc.)

    [​IMG] [​IMG] :cool:
     
    #8 vaspers, Mar 15, 2004
  9. LadyEagle

    LadyEagle <b>Moderator</b> <img src =/israel.gif>

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    What about people who want to marry their pets? Pets are always nice & are never mean, they never ask for much, food, maybe a walk or grooming now & then, maybe a litter box. All those supplies add up! A person should be able to marry their pets if they want to and count them off as tax deductions.

    And if vaspers marries himself, he should get a double deduction for himself. :D

    People with multiple personalities should get multiple tax deductions, too. [​IMG]
     
    #9 LadyEagle, Mar 15, 2004
  10. Joseph_Botwinick

    Joseph_Botwinick <img src=/532.jpg>Banned

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    What if I want to marry myself? ;)

    Joseph Botwinick
     
    #10 Joseph_Botwinick, Mar 15, 2004
  11. Dr. Bob

    Dr. Bob Administrator
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    Jbot marries self, March 2004. Divorce lawyers rejoice.

    Matter of fact, could divorce lawyers be behind this whole queer marriage thing? Since the average homo has 320+ sexual partners, who's thinking that "monogamy" with a San Francisco marriage license is going to lead to PERMANENT marriage.

    Sick.
     
    #11 Dr. Bob, Mar 15, 2004
  12. Bro. James Reed

    Bro. James Reed New Member

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    "Seriously, coming around the bend will be humans marrying non-humans, AND LIVING HUMANS MARRYING NON-LIVING HUMANS"

    Check out France. This is already the case. If you're engaged and your soon-to-be dies, you can legally still marry.
     
    #12 Bro. James Reed, Mar 16, 2004
  13. Bro. James Reed

    Bro. James Reed New Member

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    BTW, I wonder what old Rev Joshua would have to say about this whole issue? ;)
     
    #13 Bro. James Reed, Mar 16, 2004
  14. Frogman

    Frogman <img src="http://www.churches.net/churches/fubc/Fr

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    Just think, the Bachelor and Bachelorette will have to be cancelled, I mean, why make just one choice??? :rolleyes: No longer reality :eek:
     
    #14 Frogman, Mar 16, 2004
  15. Frogman

    Frogman <img src="http://www.churches.net/churches/fubc/Fr

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    Maybe we can all just marry each other...think of the unearned income credit and the witholdings on that W-2 :D [​IMG]

    Went to court today, (froggy went a courtn', Naw, not really [​IMG] courtn' but I ain't know hillbilly from em' ar' hills boys, do know a thing or two about information and how to use it all the lawyers were having a grand time....glad I am not a lawyer :confused: but proved today I could be [​IMG]

    God is Great and I am but dust...who am I, who am I, who am I.

    Join me all in praising God for a wonderful blessing of teaching into my heart that I should always just stand still and see the delverance of God....AMEN

    I know not one of you know what I am talking about...but our Lord does and as you thank him tonight for the blessings of your day thank him also on my behalf for this has been a wonderful day [​IMG] makes me almost want to shout and jump up and down at the confusion of our law [​IMG] [​IMG]

    Maybe I can start a post about it in the 'other discussions forum'

    Just know that our God is great and beside him there is none other
     
    #15 Frogman, Mar 16, 2004
  16. Baptist in Richmond

    Baptist in Richmond Active Member

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    [​IMG]
     
    #16 Baptist in Richmond, Mar 16, 2004
  17. Baptist in Richmond

    Baptist in Richmond Active Member

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    &lt;the sound of BiR spitting decaf coffee all over the place&gt;

    That was hilarious!!
    I just had a fifth-grade-music-class flashback.

    What did you do with the "sword and pistol???"
     
    #17 Baptist in Richmond, Mar 16, 2004
  18. Frogman

    Frogman <img src="http://www.churches.net/churches/fubc/Fr

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    What did you do with the "sword and pistol???"

    Had to check em' at the door [​IMG]

    Bro. Dallas
     
    #18 Frogman, Mar 16, 2004
  19. Bro. James Reed

    Bro. James Reed New Member

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    Well, Bro. Dallas, you've peaked my curiosity. Now you will have to tell me what happened, else I will expode. :)

    Glad you're having a good day. From your post, I have an idea as to what you're talking about, but being the nosy person that I am, I take after my mama, I need to know details.

    I'll be a character witness!!! You's good people.

    Bro. James
     
    #19 Bro. James Reed, Mar 16, 2004
  20. Frogman

    Frogman <img src="http://www.churches.net/churches/fubc/Fr

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    Check out this link:

    Froggy went a courtn'
     
    #20 Frogman, Mar 16, 2004
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