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A second wedding?

Discussion in 'Polls Forum' started by Salty, Mar 8, 2008.

?
  1. Yes, There is no problem

    25 vote(s)
    73.5%
  2. NO, they are already married

    2 vote(s)
    5.9%
  3. Not sure, I need more details

    4 vote(s)
    11.8%
  4. Even with more details, I just dont know

    1 vote(s)
    2.9%
  5. Other answer

    2 vote(s)
    5.9%
  1. Salty

    Salty 20,000 Posts Club
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    I attended a wedding yesterday (7 Mar). The couple were young - about 20ish. After the semi-formal wedding - with about 100 in attendence - I learned that the couple were initially married about 6 months ago.

    For whatever reason, they decided to have a church wedding.
    I am not aware of the reasons why they decided to take this apporach.
    Oh, the bride did wear white.

    So do you think the pastor should have re-prefomed the wedding.

    Salty
     
  2. Palatka51

    Palatka51 New Member

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    I think that a reception with a few words of dedication would have been in order. Sounds like they married honorably the first time. But to have a second seems to me to be somewhat over the top.
     
  3. abcgrad94

    abcgrad94 Active Member

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    I don't see anything wrong with it. It's their business why they chose to have a formal ceremony 6 months after they married. It's not like they got divorced and remarried. Maybe their family and friends wanted to participate in a formal wedding to remember the occasion.

    After our second daughter was born, our church threw a baby shower for her. It was a celebration of her birth and it didn't matter that the shower didn't take place the "same day" as her birth.

    I guess this couple just wanted to celebrate their wedding on a different day. Nothing wrong with that--and even if something went awry 6 months previously, (say they forgot to get a blood test or some paperwork) it would be fixed now.
     
  4. Tom Bryant

    Tom Bryant Active Member

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    I have done this when a couple were living together. I urged them to either separate or get married immediately. They chose to marry and then have a formal wedding later. It was strange, but I was happy they weren't living together without being married.
     
  5. Salty

    Salty 20,000 Posts Club
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    Tom, I agree that if they were living together, they should immediately get married or liver separately. But if they get married, thats it, no second wedding. At least thats how I think I feel.
    At the moment, I am just listening to what you all have to say.

    salty

    I
     
  6. 4His_glory

    4His_glory New Member

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    This is a difficult situation. I think that for Christians the proper place for marriage is in a church because the couple are making a solemn commitment before the church. But I do recognize that many are legally married first.

    Here in Argentina. Every couple must be married by the state and then later if they wish they may have a church wedding. I think most missionaries and national pastors here ask for the couple to not live together until the actual church ceremony since God is more important than state. I have yet to face this situation. Sadly most couples here don´t even bother getting married, though they have been living and raising a family together for years.
     
  7. Justlittleoldme

    Justlittleoldme New Member

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    If a couple has been living together and come to understand that this is sin and then decides to correct that sin right away by being married as quickly as legally possible, why should they be denied a church ceremony where they share their new commitment with their family and friends? What an example that would show to others!
     
  8. Joe

    Joe New Member

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    Reply to the invitation sent with "Sorry, I am too old to play dress up"
     
  9. Palatka51

    Palatka51 New Member

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    Joe, Joe, Joe, Hey that was actually funny. [​IMG]
     
  10. I Am Blessed 24

    I Am Blessed 24 Active Member

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    I don't really see anything wrong with it, but IMO, a renewal of vows would have been more appropriate.
     
  11. Squire Robertsson

    Squire Robertsson Administrator
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    I voted no problem with the assumption there were no negatives present.

    In the former Soviet Union, such an occurance was very common amoung the Baptists. A couple would go down to the local Hall of Matrimony get married (the State only recognized civil ceremonies), then go over to the Housing Ministry with their paperwork and register for an apartment. Then they'd go home to their respective parents' homes and wait for their names to come to the top of the housing list. When they got their apartment, then they get married in church and start their married life.

    I assume the situation was the couple was married in the clerk's office (or some other site) but wanted a church wedding later.
     
  12. Hardsheller

    Hardsheller Active Member
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    I did this for a couple going to IRAQ. They wanted to get married before they deployed.

    After they got home they had a church wedding.

    I think I said something like this at the end. "By the power vested in me by the state of Missouri I now pronounce that you are still husband and wife."
     
  13. Hopeful

    Hopeful New Member

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    Thanks for posting this--my niece is looking at this same situation. She wants a "real church wedding", but there is NO WAY to get it scheduled and done before her hubby-to-be leaves out for his military service assignment. So, this is basically what they are being pushed into--a civil ceremony with NO family and friends able to be in attendance beforehand--and then a "second wedding" done the way they WANT to afterwards, when leave time is attainable. I consider it the opportunity for them to stand up "in front of God and these witnesses"--even if belatedly.
     
  14. Tentmaker

    Tentmaker <img src=/tentmaker.gif>
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    I agree with you, Blessed.
     
  15. Gold Dragon

    Gold Dragon Well-Known Member

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    Some people have multiple ceremonies in multiple cities because of the location of friends and family. They may want their marriage licence in a different country from where most of their family and friends are and perform the "legal wedding" before the "formal wedding".
     
  16. David Lamb

    David Lamb Active Member

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    I chose "Not sure - need more details". The particular detail that would seem vital is the reason for this second wedding. Have they become Christians since their first marriage? If so, although there is no compulsion for them to do so, they may have felt that they would like to repeat the ceremony as believers, amongst their new, spiritual family. Or maybe neither of them is a Christian, but they have that almost-superstitious belief that they ought to get married in a church building, with all the trimmings. If they could not afford to do so at the time when they first married, they may feel they ought to "do the job properly". Personally, I don't think we can decide whther this is right or wrong without at least knowing the reason behind the second ceremony.
     
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