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Discussion in '2000-02 Archive' started by Mark Lambert, Jul 20, 2002.

  1. Mark Lambert

    Mark Lambert Guest

    My wife and I attent and are members of a local MBC. Right next door to my house actually, PTL.
    My wife is an alcoholic for 15 of the 20 years of our marriage. I can't express the mental and on ocassion verbal abuse my 2 kids and I deal with. We pray all the time for her! Except for the drinking she is a good God fearing woman. I love my wife and she attends counseling sessions for 2 hours a week. When she returns from the classs, she will get drunk that evening. I have attempted Alonon but didnt get much out of it. I know what your thinking...No my church is unaware of her problem. That is usually our unspoken prayer request. What else can I do besides pray. thank you for any advice you may like to share. Pray for us. Mark :(
    PS this was'nt easy.
  2. Pastor_Bob

    Pastor_Bob Well-Known Member

    Jul 15, 2002
    Likes Received:
    Be Still,
    Thank you for the courage to ask such a difficult and personal question. I want you to know that I will add your wife to my personal prayer list and pray for her daily.

    Outside of prayer, there are only a few things that I feel can be of help to her. I am not that confident in psychologists. Even "Christian" psychologists. Unfortunately the advice that I am going to share with you will not be easy; in fact, it will be tough.

    You're wife needs to be made aware of, and suffer the consequences of her drinking problem. You are not helping her by sweeping it under the rug at church. You may be saving yourself some embarassment, but you're not helping her.

    It's the same principle as the Prodigal Son. Only when he hit the bottom of the hog pen did he "come to himself" and return to the father's house.

    No one likes to see their loved ones in the hog pen but it may be that the hog pen is the only thing that can bring about repentance in their life. When we cover up their sin, we are removing God-given consequences from their lives and thereby delaying the repentance process. Remember, even bad consequences are good when they are God-given.

    Your wife needs a group of faithful, non-judgemental, understanding, Christian ladies praying for her everyday. Your wife needs to make herself personally accountable to a godly lady that she trusts. She needs to be 100% open and honest with this lady about her struggles, her failures, and her weaknesses.

    Before long, her failures will translate into victories and you'll be able to see God doing a wonderful work in her life.

    I'm not suggesting that she go before the church and make a public confession, although I do know where doing this has helped. I'm not opposed to doing that either.
    James 5:16 "Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much."

    At the least, she needs to confide in one, two, or three ladies that can be of help to her and not gossip about her or make her feel like less of a Christian because she cannot get the victory in this area.

    But by the grace of God, there go I.
    1Cor. 15:10 "But by the grace of God I am what I am..."

    God Bless You
  3. Mark Lambert

    Mark Lambert Guest

    Thank you Pastor Bob... It really means alot being able to recieve spiritual advice from a brother in the Lord about this subjest. I feel some relief just talking about it. Thank you for adding my wife. (Margret) to your personnel prayer list. This means so much to me, I will pray about this and also talk to Margret about it. She knows she has a problem and needs help. From what I understand, that is the first step in the right direction to recovery. There are many women in our church that she respects greatly and will probably confide.
    I will also pray that God will bless you Indeed
    Thank you greatly & may God bless you.
  4. preacher

    preacher New Member

    May 9, 2001
    Likes Received:
    Be Still,
    Please try to understand this question cause I'm going by you're statement of your wife being a
    "God Fearing woman"
    Has she ever professed to know Jesus Christ as her Lord & Saviour? Its not belief in God that saves, but in His Son Jesus Christ. [​IMG]
    I also will be praying!!