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Are you an emotional accountant?

Discussion in 'Other Discussions' started by Onlybygrace, Mar 15, 2009.

  1. Onlybygrace

    Onlybygrace New Member

    Feb 20, 2009
    Likes Received:
    It is extremely easy to fall into the trap of counting rights and wrongs in a relationship.
    “Remember when you did that to me?” or “But I’ve already done it for you 3 times!”

    It takes an incredible amount of mental an emotional energy to keep constant count and remember all that stuff. I think you will agree with me that if you take an honest look at your relationship you will find that thee are particular areas that still need a lot more work. We all have these areas and they are different not only for each individual relationship but even for each partner. Surely the amount of time and energy we expend trying to keep track of rights and wrongs would be better put to use my channelling it in to working on our weak areas instead of pursuing this fruitless activity?

    It doesn’t add to your relationship in any known positive way. It simply distracts and detracts from actually getting on with the real task at hand. It provides a welcome diversion from the fact that you are not doing what you are supposed to and by keeping an easily accessible rap sheet of your partner’s faults and failings you have a rationalised justification as to why you are treating them badly or neglecting to hold up your end of the deal.
    Nobody likes to be micro-managed in any area of life but especially not in something as dynamic and vital as a human relationship.

    No one likes to have a relentless emotional accountant, perpetually auditing your every action. A relationship does not need to be policed it needs to be nurtured! Policing is not a relevant role within a relationship, it never was and it never will be. Sometimes we tend to create a new role for ourselves when the role we are required to fulfil seems too stretch our characters more than we bargained for.

    Take it from someone who’s walked both sides of this road when this equation is said and done there will be no additions to your relationship only subtractions.
    So stop counting and start living one day at a time and enjoying being with your partner, it’s easier and a lot more fun.

    (If you can relate to this experience in any way or would like to comment positively or negatively please feel free. I welcome your participation.)